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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids in holiday clubs when you’re not working...

120 replies

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 15/04/2019 10:10

It’s the school holidays. You are not at work (either a SAHP or work term time only).

Person A thinks putting your children into holidays activity camps for any amount of time is not ok, because you don’t need to. That if you’re off work or don’t work they should be with you.

Person B thinks if the kids are happy to go, and you can afford it, it’s absolutely fine.

Person C thinks if you are a SAHP of school age NT children it’s not ok as you have loads of time off in term time. But if you work term time, it’s ok because come the holidays you probably need a couple of days off too.

Thoughts?!

OP posts:
Kaykay06 · 15/04/2019 10:40

It’s a holiday club not 24 hour care, kids often want to go so they can see friends, do activities etc it’s not school it’s fun so why shouldn’t they?

None of mine have ever gone to holiday clubs as we didn’t need them and my 9 year old wasn’t interested 7 year old can’t go due to issues he has but if they wanted to go a day or so a week then I’d be quite happy for that. Didn’t realise they are reserved for full time working parents only?...if This is the case I’m sure they make arrangements for holidays well in advance and if there’s spaces anyone can take them up as long as they are paid for

Honeytothebee · 15/04/2019 10:40

I'm a SAHM and my child will be going to a lovely club next week as they have been previously and really enjoyed it.. It keeps them active and less bored at home as this club is mostly school friends.

It's nobodys business if I choose to send my child to a club if I work or not...

Original poster
autumnnightsaredrawingin · 15/04/2019 10:40

notacooldad no it’s not a problem? I just meant a few people not on MN have expressed the view that putting your kids into a couple of days of holiday club/activities is selfish, and that I’m reassured to know that other people think it’s fine? Why so aggressive?

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 15/04/2019 10:43

Depends what type of club it is. If it's holiday childcare and the parents aren't working then I would feel for the child. If it's a riding lesson, football etc where the child has actively asked to go for a few hours that's different as it's their hobby.

CostanzaG · 15/04/2019 10:44

Some people feel you have to spend every working moment with your children and if you dare to have 'me' time you're selfish.

Kids clubs can be great and an enriching experience.

CostanzaG · 15/04/2019 10:45

*waking

MichonnesBBF · 15/04/2019 10:45

I work term time only, for my kids and I during the half term holidays (1 week) we use that time spending quality time together doing non-eventful activities ie: park, picnics, pj days possibly bowling or cinema but not always.

During the Easter holidays we try to get away for a few days 3 tops, the rest of the time is as above also including 1 day where friends are invited to participate in an Easter egg hunt in the street, pizza and play.

Now the summer holidays are entirely different as they are booked into a sports activity for a whole week (9-3 normally week 3 or 4) This is entirely their choice. They also participate in a charity run club locally, involving arts crafts, team building exercises and so on. completely cheap as chips (£8 for the full week 10-2 including hot meal)

Not once have I thought I shouldn't do this just because I am off work, surely it is about finding a balance that suits everyone, my children are now 8 and 10, they don't always want to spend every waking second with me, in fact they would probably tell you I am doing their head in much more than I would say it about them Grin

As parents we are only doing what works best for us as a family, sod those that think otherwise.

TurquoiseDress · 15/04/2019 10:46

I see nothing wrong with children going to a sports/activity camp during the school holidays

As long as they are happy to do this and cost does not have a detrimental effect on the family finances

IMO it doesn't matter if you are a SAHP or work full time outside the home

As long as the children are happy!

havingtochangeusernameagain · 15/04/2019 10:46

I would have thought that kids would have a better time with kids their own age, doing interesting activities, than they would with their parents (most of the time, anyway, unless you have an exciting day out planned).

And parents need time to themselves eg to visit the dentist or the hairdresser, or just to get things done. Or to have some adult time either with their partner or friends/family.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 15/04/2019 10:46

I would have thought that kids would have a better time with kids their own age, doing interesting activities, than they would with their parents (most of the time, anyway, unless you have an exciting day out planned).

And parents need time to themselves eg to visit the dentist or the hairdresser, or just to get things done. Or to have some adult time either with their partner or friends/family.

BasilBrushes · 15/04/2019 10:47

Last week my eldest went to an activity day, he wanted to go and all his friends went. So he had a great day with all his school friends. And we still manage to have day outs. If my DC didn’t want to go they wouldn’t go (unless I needed childcare).

Who gives a shit what other people do?

havingtochangeusernameagain · 15/04/2019 10:49

Sorry for the double post!

CloudRusting · 15/04/2019 10:50

People should do what suit them. We have a nanny so from a childcare perspective we don’t need holiday clubs. But my eldest begs to go for the odd day to sport camp anyway because it is full of team sports and they get a lot out of it.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/04/2019 10:55

Well what do the kids in that scenario want?

If Person A's kids have begged to go and she's said no because she think they should be home and then they spend the two weeks sat in front of the telly is no better than sending them when they don't want to / don't have to go. If they want to go

Ultimately a and C would benefit from being leelss judgemental

Taswama · 15/04/2019 11:11

I have sent ds1 to holiday club for a day so I can have a day with ds2 doing what he wants to do. DS1 gets a day with me another time.
We have also booked both dc into holiday club so DP and I can have a day off together without needing to be back for 3.30.

Oly4 · 15/04/2019 11:12

These threads crack me up. My kids love the activities at holiday clubs. Am I a bad parent for letting them go to something they enjoy?
Why is it better for them to be coming round Tesco with me?

Taswama · 15/04/2019 11:12

Also sending DS on a day trip with holiday club is usually cheaper than taking the whole family.

Echobelly · 15/04/2019 11:13

I think it's fine - it's a chance for kids to socialise and have fun together, not just time off for parents.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 15/04/2019 11:14

I work term time, but my children do specialized sporty holiday camps that they can't do during term time because we don't have the time or money for them. They love to try these activities, and I can get them there during term breaks, and they choose to do it, so why shouldn't they?

I think people need to mind their own business.

converseandjeans · 15/04/2019 11:14

It totally depends on the child I would say. Some really need social interaction & would love to have a bit of time home & some time with mates doing an activity. So for example over Easter a week home and a week doing something.
I do think children need some time home where they can stay in PJs til 11 and laze about watching TV doing nothing, They get really tired from school & so if they are in school all term and then straight into 'childcare' setting I don't think it gives them much time to switch off.
However if parents both work and there is no other solution then they just get used to it I think.
I think people should do what suits their family & not worry too much about what other people are doing!

Howdyhihi · 15/04/2019 11:16

This probably won't be popular but I do get miffed when parents who either stay at home full time or have term time jobs take up spaces in holiday clubs which are so essential to working parents who can't get the time off.

So many by us are oversubscribed.

MRex · 15/04/2019 11:18

It's nobody else's business. If your DC really don't want to go, it isn't very important to attend and you have another option then I might quietly judge you (well, and bitching about it to DH when we chat at dinnertime). Don't kids love the camps though, I thought that was the point?

Naijamama · 15/04/2019 11:20

Absolutely fine to send kids to holiday clubs. My kids do half days at their gymnastics club holiday camp. They have fun, I run some errands, they then avoid running said boring errands with me. Everyone is happy!

WeMarchOn · 15/04/2019 11:26

I'm confused why neurotypical has been mentioned? My daughter is ND and she loves holiday clubs

Acis · 15/04/2019 11:28

Option B, but with the caveat that the holiday clubs are things the children actively want to do as opposed to something they are accepting that the parent has arranged for them.