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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids in holiday clubs when you’re not working...

120 replies

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 15/04/2019 10:10

It’s the school holidays. You are not at work (either a SAHP or work term time only).

Person A thinks putting your children into holidays activity camps for any amount of time is not ok, because you don’t need to. That if you’re off work or don’t work they should be with you.

Person B thinks if the kids are happy to go, and you can afford it, it’s absolutely fine.

Person C thinks if you are a SAHP of school age NT children it’s not ok as you have loads of time off in term time. But if you work term time, it’s ok because come the holidays you probably need a couple of days off too.

Thoughts?!

OP posts:

Nicpem1982 · 15/04/2019 13:21

People need to do what works for their family.
Were fortunate to be in a position where school hols are a mix of dh and mines annual leave and ils helping out so whilst we dont need holiday clubs dd will be attending summer school at her preforming arts academy for a week in the summer and she can't wait lots of fun to be had with her friends before show seadon starts again!

gotmychocolateimgood · 15/04/2019 13:23

If my kids wanted to go I would send them to a holiday club a couple of days a week. They'd rather be with me though.

ValleyoftheHorses · 15/04/2019 13:25

DS is in a holiday club that is running all week and he has to either attend all or nothing. They are rehearsing for a performance. I need the childcare Tues/Wed/ Thurs so he’s there today as well even though I’m off.
It’s a shame but it is what it is. I took a day annual leave last week to spend with him.

Weepingwillow5 · 15/04/2019 13:26

My kids have done the odd day in the holidays - but for specific interests like football or a tech club . So not things I can cover ! It’s a bit of a treat

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 15/04/2019 13:30

this year dc1 is old enough for holiday club not to be essential for her. her younger sister still has to go for a fortnight in August when DH and I are both working. dc1 has expressed a strong preference to continue attending.

MsTSwift · 15/04/2019 13:34

Mine could look after themselves I wfh but book them both into a training day for their favourite sports for the exercise and they enjoy it not about childcare

justasking111 · 15/04/2019 13:37

Four year old is going two days this week, two days next week. He loves it he will be picked up at 3pm as usual even though it is open from 8.15am to 6pm. Some parents have to work in the holidays, I have yet to meet an employer who will give you 12 weeks holiday apart from those in education.

PumpkinPie2016 · 15/04/2019 13:37

Some kids like going to holiday clubs as they like to do the activities/see other kids.

I work term time only and personally don't use holiday clubs but that's my choice - doesn't mean it's wrong for people to do it.

That said, I booked my son in to have a swimming lesson a day last week - I still had to take him/watch but the lesson as taught by a swimming teacher. I did it so that he had something to do each afternoon for that week. He loves swimming, made friends with another kid there and made progress with his swimming so all good.

It's hard sometimes to find things to entertain them so if they at happy to go to a holiday club then why not.

starfishmummy · 15/04/2019 13:38

I used to send my son in spite of me being a sahm. It gave him a chance to mix with other kids and do lots of great activities. He didn't go every day and it gave me a chance to get other things done (food shopping, cleaning etc)

Romax · 15/04/2019 13:38

Person D aka Romax doesn’t give a damn whatever other parents do re holiday camps

Weebitawks · 15/04/2019 13:42

Well I've last minute taken this Thursday off. DS1 is booked into holiday club and I'm not cancelling. He really likes it and would be disappointed.

I am however taking DS2 out of nursery as he'd rather spend the day with me.
(Not that DS1 doesn't want to spend the day with me, but it's a drama holiday club that he loves )

Just do whatever feels right

mindutopia · 15/04/2019 13:47

I think do whatever you and they want. When I was on mat leave, I used to put my school age dc in holiday club or another activity (forest school or pony club camp) 1-2 days a week. She got bored being stuck at home every day with me and the baby. She was really excited to have the occasional day with friends. Everyday would seem odd - because what’s the point of being a SAHP or working term time only then? But as and when to keep them occupied or seeing friends, sounds fine.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 15/04/2019 13:53

My mum was a SAHM, and she used to put me and my brothers into a summer school when we were little. I loved it, and if I wasn't working I would still intend to send DS.

None of the children in my family have ever received the memo about children needing "down time", or being exhausted after a tough term at primary school.

Springwalk · 15/04/2019 13:53

MichonnesBBF Despite knowing at least 50-80 children of all ages, I am yet to ever meet a single one that was desperate to go to any camp, and most I know openly detest them. Unless they are bored rigid with literally nothing to do at home and are being completely ignored, why would any kid choose to do another version of school?

No doubt you will hear from all the parents that have children that can not wait to the camp doors open, and are enchanted by every second of camp, but lots of parents on here know full well that their children would prefer to stay at home over camp. In addition I have friends that force their kids to go kicking and screaming, not so that they can work, but so they don't need to do childcare for the week.

This is not child directed at all. It is the reverse of that.

Yes there may be one or two children somewhere that love camp, but if you stand there and look at the sea of faces as you arrive you rarely see the joy being described on here.

IF my children wanted to go I wouldn't hesitate to sign them up for a few days, and they have been to various different ones over the years in the summer break, but otherwise no way! If they don't want to go they don't go. It is not fun, it is anything but fun. I used to run away from summer camp and spend my summer in the nearest town (no one even noticed! I am sure supervision is better now)

autumnnightsaredrawingin 2-3 days if the child actively asks to go is fine. Not forced and not coerced.

If you have to work, and need it for childcare that is totally different in my view, but if you are at home and could be enjoying time with your children, and you are pushing camp on to them, then that is just really sad for the dc.

Doubletrouble99 · 15/04/2019 14:09

Our two loved going to holiday activities. I am a SAHM but have health problems. There was loads of sports that my son loved to do and he made lots of friends from other schools.

justasking111 · 15/04/2019 14:12

My DS worked for Camp America following his A levels. On the borders of Canada. When the kids arrived many were on ritalin type drugs. The counsellors would collect it and put it away. The kids then had six weeks of adventures on the lakes in the forests from early morning to the camp bonfire at night. They did enjoy it, were knackered at nightfall, slept without drugs. DS said it did make him wonder how these children lived at home, what their lives were like.

Doubletrouble99 · 15/04/2019 14:14

Spring - I really don't know what sort of children you know but my two have also gone away to camp as well as holiday activities which they love, it's outward bound stuff nothing like school at all. Getting them out and about is great, much better than sitting at home on their phones or game consoles.

SimplyMonstrous · 15/04/2019 14:14

Surely if you’re a sahp, you should be home educating 😜

AWishForWingsThatWork · 15/04/2019 14:18

Despite knowing at least 50-80 children of all ages, I am yet to ever meet a single one that was desperate to go to any camp, and most I know openly detest them. Unless they are bored rigid with literally nothing to do at home and are being completely ignored, why would any kid choose to do another version of school?

Bollocks.

I work term time, and my children are not ignored and we do plenty of outings and holidays that they enjoy. They aren't deprived. (Seriously not deprived.)

But we also do sports camps on some term breaks. My daughter was desperate to do gymnastics camp last week with her friends, so I put her in for half days. My boys wanted to play tennis, so again, half day camp all week so they could play with their friends. They asked to go. And I know lots of other children who asked to go to these things. Not at all like putting them back into school... and they love them. And so do the numerous other children I see signing in in the mornings in their leotards and tennis gear ... bouncing in to see their friends.

justasking111 · 15/04/2019 14:23

The running around to all these holiday activities, sitting in the gallery at swimming pools, rushing to sports activities. Letting them sit in front of computer games machine is the easy option for parents, my DCs were happier being ferried to events/clubs. The first day of term when they go back is so much easier

MichonnesBBF · 15/04/2019 14:55

@Springwalk

I may be wrong but are you getting 'Holiday clubs and Summer Camps' mixed up?

You are making it sound like the 50-80 children you know are forcibly being man handled into a place where they are left for eternity not knowing when their parents will, if ever be picking them back up again.

I am talking about clubs that are on from 9-3/10-2 that are of particular interest to children such as sport, drama, crafts etc:

Childs/parents choice weather they want them in for 1,2,3,4 or 5 days a week for 1 or 2 weeks or more depending on circumstance during the Summer holiday.

NWQM · 15/04/2019 15:02

@MichonnesBBF absolutely. My kids love the camps put on by Stagecoach and the multi sports one.

They are short days - 9.30-2 sort of thing - and weren't particularly useful when I was working

Original poster

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 15/04/2019 15:37

Again, I should have made it clear in my OP that I’m talking about activity clubs where as PP says, are on for shorter amounts of time and you can pick and choose how many days they go, rather than childcare type clubs. My DS is football crazy and actively asks to go to football camp which is 9 am until 3pm. I don’t send him every day or even every week in the holidays as I work term time and want to spend time with him. But it’s affordable, and he absolutely loves it. Last week he didn’t go at all, this week 2 days. DD is older and has recently said she doesn’t want to go to any more activity holiday clubs (she has big sporting commitments that continue every holiday) so she doesn’t go.

OP posts:

Singlebutmarried · 15/04/2019 15:42

I work part time, but on a sch day I’m out of the house from half 8 til pick up, home for maybe half hour before heading out to whatever the evenings activity is.

I work 4 days / week. The one day I do have off I make sure that DC is booked into a holiday club, because otherwise there’s never be anytime for getting the basics round the house done.

Plus on hols I have friends of the DC in the morning and again after the holiday club til their parents can pick them up, said parents return the favour when they can.

Kez0777 · 15/04/2019 15:44

I work in a school, so during the holidays I have my kids all the time. I do love this and it's part of the reason I wanted to work in a school. Buuuuuut it means I never ever have a days holiday to say take a day to play golf (looks at you DH 👀) they are desperate to go to a horse riding club for the day next week. So do you know what I've booked them in, they have asked to do it and I get a few hours to myself! This will mostly be spent walking the dog and all the other bits that need doing but I will also make sure I drink tea, eat cake and watch a bit of crap TV

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