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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boys left behind at school while girls get trip

514 replies

Quickchat1 · 05/03/2019 23:42

Recently my sons class went on an educational trip to a local university. But only the girls. The boys were left behind with a cover teacher listening to music and generally doing very little. My son is GCSE year and would have benefited from a computing and science event. No it was only for the girls with no mention of anything for the boys. I understand this was a STEM event for girls only but if there was a STEM event for boys only there would be uproar! AIBU?

OP posts:

HomeMadeMadness · 05/03/2019 23:45

I don't think I can get upset about this. They're just trying to encourage more women into STEM. When I was at uni we did lots of events for women and also for children from schools who didn't send many kids to uni. I'm sure kids from other schools would have enjoyed the day too and got something out of it but the point was to encourage groups who would be less likely to think of applying.

DippyAvocado · 05/03/2019 23:46

I think YAB a bit U, there are reasons why encouraging girls into STEM is a good thing and it's such a traditionally male environment that it's benefical for them to experience it on an all-female visit . It seems poor that the boys were left doing nothing though. It would have been a good opportunity for some careers teaching of their own. Have you contacted the school/university to see if there are any events aimed at encouraging boys into traditionally female-dominated areas?

C0untDucku1a · 05/03/2019 23:48

So there was a trip to encourage more girls into STEM and youre upset it didnt include your boy? Can’t roll my eyes loud enough...

You are not being unreasonable to complain to the achool that there wasnt adequate teaching going on for the boys that day though.

RNBrie · 05/03/2019 23:48

Girls are underrepresented in STEM, boys are not.

What would make a lot more sense is to have had a humanities and social care event for boys showcasing nursing and teaching and other careers where boys are significantly underrepresented.

JumpOrBePushed · 05/03/2019 23:48

I expect it was aimed at girls only because women are under-represented in STEM careers. It’s therefore an attempt to encourage girls with an interest in STEM to continue with STEM subjects at A-level and onwards.

Boys don’t need the extra encouragement because STEM subjects are generally seen as “boys” subjects and there’s no problem getting boys to apply for STEM subjects at college / university.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/03/2019 23:49

Lol, yabu. Christ on a bike.

Doobydoobeedoo · 05/03/2019 23:50

It's perfectly normal for some students to be selected for a trip while the others stay at school. There is no "uproar".

YABU

Fozzleyplum · 05/03/2019 23:50

YANBU unless the boys are taken to an event to encourage them to learn languages at school and university.

hagiasophia · 05/03/2019 23:51

I think the whole women in STEM is being taken a bit far now. Of course girls need encouragement into such fields, but the amount of these opportunities is a tad extreme. It is as if everyone is jumping on the bandwagon to the detriment of being able to provide other events for males who could be more interested.

goldengummybear · 05/03/2019 23:54

It's good that girls had an event for them. The boys could have used Aevents where they are encouraged into traditionally female careers like nursing, primary teaching, childcare etc Doing nothing with the cover teacher sounds pointless.

Sparklesocks · 05/03/2019 23:56

Sorry YABU, men are hugely over represented in STEM fields and despite a lot of women making great progress there they are still very much the minority. The boys wouldn’t have benefited in the same way.

Think about it like this, imagine the class are trying to look over a wall which is too high for them to see over. The girls have a step ladder with one step, the boys have a step ladder with three steps. The boys can see over the wall with their 3 step advantage but the girls can’t.
So then imagine someone brings new step ladders for the girls with an extra new step. Now the girls have a better chance of seeing over the wall. Would you think it’s unfair the girls are given an extra step and the boys aren’t? Or would you think it was a fair attempt to give the girls more help to see over the wall?

YouBumder · 05/03/2019 23:58

No I wouldn’t be annoyed if it was a girl only event. I don’t see why girls should miss out because boys can’t go. Different if it was a mixed event but an arbitrary decision had been made for boys not to get to go. (Mum of just boys)

BertrandRussell · 05/03/2019 23:59

Why not suggest an event to encourage boys into work as carers? Or nursery workers?

AlexaShutUp · 06/03/2019 00:00

YABU. There are still real hurdles for women in STEM. Your son should have had proper classes back at school though.

There are plenty of initiatives aimed at different under-represented groups - girls, BAME students, white working class boys, kids from low participation neighbourhoods etc. In most cases, there will be kids who don't fit into those groups who would also benefit from the experience/opportunities on offer, but that's not the point. The purpose of these activities is to address an existing imbalance/inequality.

bookmum08 · 06/03/2019 00:01

I expect there are so many boys out there who don't even know what 'stem' actually means - just the same as girls. Job/careers advice and encouragement is very poor within most secondary schools so instead of 'encouraging' girls to go into stem jobs they should be explaining and teaching both girls and boys what these jobs actually are.
Make sure you ask when the boys career advice day is as the girls have had one.

BartonHollow · 06/03/2019 00:02

Would you object if the girls had been taken to a sports event run by This Girl Can?

Exact same principle. YAB incredibly precious

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 06/03/2019 00:12

@Sparklesocks
Think about it like this, imagine the class are trying to look over a wall which is too high for them to see over. The girls have a step ladder with one step, the boys have a step ladder with three steps. The boys can see over the wall with their 3 step advantage but the girls can’t.
So then imagine someone brings new step ladders for the girls with an extra new step. Now the girls have a better chance of seeing over the wall. Would you think it’s unfair the girls are given an extra step and the boys aren’t? Or would you think it was a fair attempt to give the girls more help to see over the wall?

Perfect analogy. That's all this is.

I do think encouraging the boys into teaching, caring, healthcare work and such would be positive too. But its not that the girls have been given something to do which the boys aren't already benefitting from.

Perhaps they could have gotten out their coursework.

AornisHades · 06/03/2019 00:18

The boys did indeed go to a STEM event whilst the girls stayed at school a couple of years ago. I was very cross. It hasn't happened since AFAIK.
They may be trying to redress the balance.

ladyme · 06/03/2019 00:23

They have trips at my daughters school for children from low income families to go to see universities. My daughter never gets to go and she'd love to go to university. Why should she be discriminated against just because she has graduate parents who set up a uni fund shortly after she was born?

Yes, OP, you are being very unreasonable.

olderthanyouthink · 06/03/2019 00:28

As I am one of 3 female developers in places I have worked where there are dozens of male developers,I think YABU.

As I did ICT lessons where boys outnumbered girls 5:1, I think YABU. I would have liked to go to an event where I could see female role models in my field because honestly I have none.

I would be quite impressed if there was an all boy trip for child development or hair & beauty (off the top of my head the very female GCSEs at my school)

Katterinaballerina · 06/03/2019 00:36

Ignoring general ridiculousness of the thread, Hair and beauty is a GCSE?

PickAChew · 06/03/2019 00:37

Because boys are so under represented in STEM

PickAChew · 06/03/2019 00:38

And Dh is mid 40s and has worked with precisely 2 other female developers.

SemperIdem · 06/03/2019 00:40

Yanbu to expect the boy’s to have been taught properly on the day.

Yabvu regarding the trip itself and seem to not really understand how few women are in STEM fields in comparison to men.

ladyme · 06/03/2019 00:40

Won't someone think of the mens????

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