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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to NOT want future SIL to bring her (ex) boyf who she may get back with to my wedding...?

154 replies

katylui1 · 02/07/2007 12:40

OK, Ill try and keep it brief. To try and avoid any of the politics and bitching I have seen with so many weddings, I am planning a really small intimate but beauftiful wedding in 7 weeks. Trying desperately not to get too stressed but just about ready to pack it all in.
There are 14 adults going and 6 children (that includes bride and groom!) and we have asked everyone to contribute to the day instead of buying gifts. In laws jobs are miniscule (my side are busy making cakes, booking dates, training to be a photographer!) and his are looking after the confetti and bringing some toys for the kids and it would seem I had asked them for don orange suits and do some community service.
Anyway, (i could go for hours) we have already had to pussyfoot around my younger (24) future SIL as she is currently single and as it is so small it would be wierd to add an +1 and have a stranger there. All 3 other single people are on my side and got it straight away, no fuss, just want to support me. So it is now all booked and V expensive and she asks if she can bring her ex. I was gobsmacked, she offered to pay for him and the older future SIL piped up with Im inviting him to my (180 guest) wedding in a year whether your with him or not. I muttered something about...well if thats what you want and then had to listen to an hour of I really want him there, its important to me.
At no point has she asked what I want for my day but keeps blabbing on about what she wants, but I feel so pressured and intimidated. The fact that they both did it together and without their brother (my fiance) there. Im so mad but I dont know how to say no now, but this is just one perfect day for me (believe me, we have had so much heartache that this day is so needed). Any thoughts?

God, organising a wedding feels like being pregnant - crying and stressing all the time!

OP posts:
persephonesnape · 19/08/2007 20:43

congratulations!

i remember this thread from way back - so glad their silly immature attempts to ruin your day didn't.

Eddas · 19/08/2007 20:47

aw he sounds lovely His family on the other hand do sound like miserable gits

I hope you are both very happy together

alicet · 19/08/2007 20:59

Congratulations honey!!!! Sounds like despite their efforts you had a perfect day which is so much better revenge that losing it with them and spoiling your day! Delighted your dh (!!!!!) was so supportive and that just makes their behaviour petty and childish.

Like you say you have no need to involve them in your lives at all now unless he wants to, and it sounds like even if he does he will understand why you will go no further than not making it hard for them.

You have both shown that you are much better people than them and because you can do this you will undoubtedly be much happier while they will fester in petty bitterness.

Good on you and I hope you are very very happy x

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 21:00

I remember reading this thread when you started it, congratulations on your wedding, it sounds like you have a lovely DH there. Stay clear of your outlaws in the future and celebrate happy times with your family.

Bouquetsofdynomite · 19/08/2007 21:01

Hurray!!!

amidaiwish · 19/08/2007 21:12

oh congratulations, am so so happy for you.
your dh sounds marvellous!!!
and well done for "rising above it".

thanks for letting us know how it all went!

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:15

You are all so lovely, thank you for your congtulations...did I also mention that I came on on my wedding day!!!

And still it was perfect!!!

OP posts:
Toady · 19/08/2007 22:07

am I reading that last post right?

Congatulations by the way, have not posted on this thread before but have followed it, you did brilliantly.

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 22:32

Am pissed!!! Sorry, I got my period on the day...and STILL it was perfect!!

OP posts:
NurseyJo · 19/08/2007 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

krang · 20/08/2007 09:50

Congratulations...both on your wedding and your attitude. You two are clearly going to build a wonderful, healthy family life together that couldn't be more different than the idiots you describe. Let them stew in their bitterness while you have a brilliant life.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 20/08/2007 09:57

Congratulations! Great sounding wedding, great sounding DH and great attitude. Really pleased for you.

Baffy · 20/08/2007 10:02

Congratulations katylui1!

You sound like you have a fantastic dh and your attitude is amazing.

Best of luck for the future. I'm sure it will be a very happy one for you!

anotherbadmother · 20/08/2007 10:29

I remember this post katylui and how awful and stressful the whole situation must have been for you.

Congratulations to you and your DH! I am so glad you enjoyed your wedding and your crappy in-laws didn't succeed in their attempts to spoil things!

I love a happy ending!!

katylui1 · 20/08/2007 11:47

Thanks for all the supports MNers, when no-one else will listen to the details of your problems, MNers are always there!

Will add piccies asap. Still ing!

OP posts:
DizzyBrummie · 20/08/2007 18:35

Just read this thread; was absolutely delighted to hear that you got married. Congratulations

katylui1 · 21/08/2007 10:59

Photos uploaded!!!! STILL ing!

OP posts:
RedtartanLass · 21/08/2007 12:22

Oh wow congratulations!! Pictures amazing!

So so glad it worked out ok!

katylui1 · 21/08/2007 21:12

Thank you!!!

OP posts:
helenhismadwife · 23/08/2007 14:18

CONGRATULATIONS!!
The pictures are lovely you look so happy, glad you didnt allow anything to ruin your special day

Jackstini · 23/08/2007 15:34

Wow Katy - you all look fantastic! So happy for you, goodness knows you deserve it after your nightmare IL's. Remember getting more and more shocked as I read about them. Glad you and your lovely hubby will be 400 miles away

Fireflyfairy2 · 23/08/2007 15:51

Oh wow! You look amazing! And your HUSBAND looks sexy!!

katylui1 · 23/08/2007 21:28

Isn't he though??!!!!
....still ing!

OP posts:
pooka · 23/08/2007 21:36

Congratulations. Lovely pictures. Glad you had a lovely day.

GreebosWhiskers · 23/08/2007 21:50

katylui1 - congratulations!

I don't think I posted on your thread previously but I do remember reading it with growing horror.

Am glad you went ahead & everything turned out well. You look gorgeous in your photos & your man's a bit lovely too