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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be incensed by this - WARNING: UPSETTING CONTENT.

108 replies

Wowzrr · 11/12/2018 17:48

How can this person be released on bail.

He got away with murder didn't he?

How could anyone believe his bullshit story?

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6483171/Millionaire-property-developer-40-ADMITS-battering-girlfriend-death.html#article-6483171

OP posts:
M4J4 · 11/12/2018 17:58

Her injuries are horrific :(

It sounds like she was found complicit in her murder (and yes, I think it's murder, not manslaughter) because she was drinking alcohol.

I wonder why her family was happy to accept manslaughter plea. Is there something we aren't being told?

Blunt force trauma and use of carpet cleaner in her body seems out of the bounds of consensual masochistic sex, especially when we only have the word of her killer.

MissionItsPossible · 11/12/2018 18:01

I'm not clicking on it because I know it'll make me feel sick but I see the word millionaire in the headline, so that's probably a good start to explaining why a murderer is out on bail.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 11/12/2018 18:03

And he's not even remanded.

Horrendous.

Wowzrr · 11/12/2018 18:04

Yes M4. Why have they taken his word that she agreed to violent sex causing her horrendous internal injuries? Were there other witnessesHmm?

OP posts:
Viewoffriday · 11/12/2018 18:07

I couldn't believe this. What sort of fatal injuries in what number do you have to inflict on a woman for it to count as murder? How on earth did a judge instruct a jury to find him not guilty of murder? Forty injuries? A pool of blood? For fucks sake. That is not consensual sex. Why am I even having to write this out? Jesus, women really are second class aren't we?

Viewoffriday · 11/12/2018 18:08

And why all the salacious "just in a black skirt" from the DM? Really? That's how to cover the murder of a human being.

LimitIsUp · 11/12/2018 18:14

I'm astounded. I notice that previous S&M games of a belt across the buttocks are referenced as evidence that it was consensual - but that's really disingenuous. The wounds inflicted on her suggest considerable force and violence and it stretches credulity that it was consensual in any way

M4J4 · 11/12/2018 18:14

Viewoffriday, I didn't read that in a salacious way (although I agree the DM is often salacious).

I think it showed the inhumanity he showed her, leaving her in a skirt pulled around a waist at the bottom of the stairs, and not even calling an ambulance.

I hope he's sentenced for a good few years, not holding out hope that it will be that long with a manslaughter verdict :(

M4J4 · 11/12/2018 18:15

*pulled around her

IAmRubbishAtDIY · 11/12/2018 18:16

How on earth did a judge instruct a jury to find him not guilty of murder?

What if the jury said guilty? Are they allowed to go against the judge's instruction?

IAmNotLikeThat · 11/12/2018 18:17

....only hurt her 'within boundaries of her masochistic desires'

No. At some point he went beyond those boundaries and killed her. Only he knows that.

I hope he has a nasty 'accident'.

M4J4 · 11/12/2018 18:32

IAmRubbishAtDIY

I'm guessing a guilty verdict wouldn't be accepted by the judge and the jury would be sent back to deliberate within the parameters they have been set.

I hope there is evidence we haven't been told about, otherwise the alternative is too depressing. The sentencing remarks on 17 Dec should shed more light I think?

HestiaParthenos · 11/12/2018 20:36

I'm astounded. I notice that previous S&M games of a belt across the buttocks are referenced as evidence that it was consensual - but that's really disingenuous. The wounds inflicted on her suggest considerable force and violence and it stretches credulity that it was consensual in any way

It is really safest for women to not consent to any kind of sex with a man at all.

Consent to sex will be interpreted as consent to sadistic treatment, consent to bdsm will be treated as consent to being murdered.

Better not to start on that slippery slope at all.

A woman who is widely known as prude(nt) has some hope that her murderer will actually go to prison.

Any other woman, a man just has to stick his penis into her while he murders her and he'll walk free.

YouCouldBeMe · 11/12/2018 22:24

This is awful

rightreckoner · 11/12/2018 22:27

Maybe we should all sign a document, like a living will, saying that we do not ever consent to being killed during sex. Would that make it clearer ?

Violetroselily · 11/12/2018 22:31

Awful story, may she rest in peace. The reporting in the Mail over the last few weeks has been disgusting (unsurprisingly).

What a horrible cunt of a man

Calvinsmam · 11/12/2018 22:34

I don't think sex game gone wrong should ever be an excuse!

Fucking animal.

HestiaParthenos · 11/12/2018 22:34

Maybe we should all sign a document, like a living will, saying that we do not ever consent to being killed during sex. Would that make it clearer ?

I am not sure they won't find a way to talk around it, but it is worth a try.

Calvinsmam · 11/12/2018 22:34

Maybe we should all sign a document, like a living will, saying that we do not ever consent to being killed during sex. Would that make it clearer ?
fucking hell, what a world we live in.

Sarahjconnor · 11/12/2018 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deathgrip · 11/12/2018 22:46

It’s so disgusting how little regard the law has for women’s lives. This is not the first time I man has used consensual violence as a defence and had it work - remember the guy who slit a woman’s throat during sex, and kept a knife under his pillow?

It also sends the message to men who do engage in BDSM that there’s really no reason to be concerned about going to far because if their partner dies and has consented to BDSM at any time in any form, you will not be found guilty of murder.

I really hope that women who engage in this activity take note and take steps to make it clear (preferably in writing) what they do consent to in practice, and that anything beyond that was not consensual, but even then I wouldn’t trust a jury to find him guilty.

adoggymum · 11/12/2018 22:59

I'm guessing he got manslaughter due to the element of drug use during the killing. He cannot he found to have the appropriate (internet) if he claims to have been under the influence and remembers nothing. Though it is strange as usually the court will take into consideration that he willingly intoxicated himself so was therefore aware of the risks to himself and others🤔

Murder is reserved for unlawful killings with proof of intent (mens rea), there's probably a lot more about this case that we don't know or is not being released. (E.g what the woman consented to and if she willingly took drugs too).

Second year law student here😅

DangerMouse17 · 11/12/2018 23:03

Just sickening. Is there anything we can do?

Him strolling out of court today just makes my blood boil. That poor young woman....what she must have endured.

Travisandthemonkey · 11/12/2018 23:06

There must be another reason.
No judge would support this unless there was. So either in the past she had consented to this level of masochism or there was something else. We are not party to the details the judge will have seen from forensics and the police.

That’s all I can hope, because anything else is truly abhorrent

adoggymum · 11/12/2018 23:08

@DangerMouse17 it truly is sickening. There is definitely info hidden from the public because this makes no sense.

I don't know how news papers can publish stuff like this? It's none of their business and no way do they have all the facts.

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