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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

666 replies

Otherwize · 06/10/2018 23:48

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
LonginesPrime · 07/10/2018 00:52

First Kevin Spacey and now this.

I just feel sorry for all the people who got dolphin tattoos on their ankles in the 90s.

notangelinajolie · 07/10/2018 00:54

Who knew Hmm

DancingOnMyOwn · 07/10/2018 00:54

This thread is amazing Grin

And for the record, I have 5 cats and they are far more evil than any dolphin Wink

BabySharkAteMyHamster · 07/10/2018 00:54

Stick this in feminism........they might lay off the trans threads for a while Wink

Redglitter · 07/10/2018 00:56

Bet the dolphins are gutted now that they know the OP is onto them & their evil ways

MorningsEleven · 07/10/2018 00:56

Well I never knew any of that about dolphins so will certainly not buy one

If John Lewis start selling them we'll have to arrange a boycott.

Nancydrawn · 07/10/2018 01:02

At least they are not ducks. Ducks are complete assholes.

Oddcat · 07/10/2018 01:02

I don't like dolphins either , and don't get me started on elephants !

colouringinpro · 07/10/2018 01:03

Oh God yes! i have witnessed duck rape and it was very upsetting!!

HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2018 01:03

My mum has a dolphin tattoo.

It looks a bit rapey to be honest...

MiniLeopardInTheHouse · 07/10/2018 01:03

They'll be swimming up the OP's u-bend to get her, like rats.

Put a few drops of Zoflora in the lavatory bowl, OP, keep the lid closed, and put a brick on top.

BabySharkAteMyHamster · 07/10/2018 01:04

Duck rape ??

No fucking way does that happen !!!

HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2018 01:06

BabySharkAteMyHamster

Ducks get up to all sorts. Im sure i read that ducks have 2 vaginas. For threesomes. I could be wrong...

Gardai · 07/10/2018 01:10

I saw a dog shit, turn round and eat it (still steaming, it was winter)
That’s dark

Nancydrawn · 07/10/2018 01:12

No, they have corkscrew vaginas to try stop reproduction. To quote National Geographic, "But rival males often violently force themselves onto females. To gain the edge in these conflicts, drakes have evolved large corkscrew phalluses, lined with ridges and backward-pointing spines, which allow them to deposit their sperm further into a female than their rivals."

I do not know this because of unwonted fondness for ducks, but because there was a big news splash about it several years ago (hence the NG article) that was all based in the overwhelming paucity of women in science. Biologists had long known about duck penises, but they hadn't thought why ducks might need them. It took a woman scientist c. 2010 to ask, wait, what about female reproductive systems?, before they figured it out. And thus the truth was uncovered.

Ducks are the worst.

Oddcat · 07/10/2018 01:13

Apparently some ducks have developed 'spiral shaped vaginas' that twist round when a male duck tried to mate with them .Confused

HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2018 01:15

Meh, i knew it was something dodgy as hell about duck vaginas.

abbsisspartacus · 07/10/2018 01:16

Dunnocks are bad too the males mate with a female they peck them to make them "eject" any sperm already present

Nancydrawn · 07/10/2018 01:16

Royal: ha! Yes. Also, I now have a very suspect google search for that National Geographic quote.

HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2018 01:18

Nancy Grin
I hate MN for what it has done to my google search history!
Im sure the government has me on some sort of watchlist for googling weird shit like duck vaginas!

MiniLeopardInTheHouse · 07/10/2018 01:19

I admire any duck with a clever vagina.

MiniLeopardInTheHouse · 07/10/2018 01:22

However I also feel less guilty now about our duckdown-filled pillows, duvets and coats.

Buggerbrexit · 07/10/2018 01:23

Ducks are brutal.

Nancydrawn · 07/10/2018 01:23

My favorite part about Patty Brennan, the scientist who found out all the stuff about ducks, is that she is completely unapologetic about it. There was a big fuss a few years ago about whether she should get gov't funding for her research (87% of Fox viewers said no, e.g.), and she was like, look, this is why I study duck penises. Wrote several articles about it.

Meanwhile, here I am panicked that strange ads are now going to follow me around the internet. May I live to have the sangfroid and sense of Patty Brennan.