AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

[Otherwize]

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

Oooh I have a fact that hasn't been mentioned about dolphins! They get high! They chew on puffer fish to release a toxin that gets them high and then they pass the fish around too. Druggie over sized fish.

I read Tank Girl. I know that kangaroos are violent fuckers.

They chew on puffer fish to release a toxin that gets them high and then they pass the fish around too.

That proves how intelligent dolphins are. The toxin is lethal to humans and can kill unless all the poison is filleted out. It's a highly regarded Japanese knife skill. Dolphins know how much/little to chew without years of training.

I am a dolphin and you are talking shit as we are all lovely. Now those bloody rainbow fish little bastards them.

I am a dolphin and you are talking shit as we are all lovely.

Lovely or not, you don't even have opposable thumbs. Loser.

But I have a permanent smile on my face and everyone wants to swim with me.

But I have a permanent smile on my face and everyone wants to swim with me.
Creepy.

Take a long spoon to sup with a dolphin.

Shit BMW you've ruined the movie for me!

You have now wiped the smile right off my face. I am a warm blooded mammalian capable of giving birth producing milk for my babies and breathing oxygen just like you. But I do have a blowhole and you don't.....or do you?

😂😂😂😂. Haven't RTFT but please don't read too much about elephant seals 😂

But I do have a blowhole and you don't.....or do you?

What do you think I'm talking out of?

When you smiley faced, gang raping child murderers finally do rise up against us we have the means to defeat you- fresh water. It's like crack to you cetaceans, you will starve yourself while on it.

We of PADDL (porpoise and dolphin defence league) know you weaknesses. We are ready.

Any git that carries haemoglobin in muscle tissue is a cunt.

Fact.

Of course you are talking out of your blowhole. You will never defeat us we are ready for you. Our weaknesses are a nice bit of cod or mackerel, however if you really want to treat us we all love a bit of salmon and Xmas is a coming. The larger greedy buggers amongst us do love a penguin or two but not that chocolate covered rubbish .....pleeeez give us some credit.

You will never defeat us we are ready for you.

So you admit you nefarious scheme? We at PADDL have been watching you for years. You thought all those people hanging of the end of boats were tourists?

Whereas your intelligence gathering is laughable. What about those two you sent to scope out Brentford high street last week? They were rumbled as soon as that charity collector tried to get their direct debit details. No good having a false mustache when you can only communicate in clicks and whistles.

Don't talk to me about those two fools I told them the moustaches weren't a good idea. As for Brentford High Street you wouldn't catch me down there darling I'm more of a Bond Street girl. Us dolphs have a reputation to uphold.

I feel very grateful that I survived a swim with Dolphins unscathed and unwanked on!

So much animal horror on this thread but shout out to my fellow peacock haters. Nasty bastard birds. Anything that many eyes - and eyes coming out of it's arse at that- is not to be trusted!

😂😂😂

I'm laughing at the way the post is written BUT - you are on point. Dolphins are not the smiling happy humans of the sea ...

Don't talk to me about those two fools I told them the moustaches weren't a good idea.

They died well. We subjected them to 14 hours of the worst torture imaginable (a television program we call 'hollyoaks') and they said nothing before their brains melted.

We are not so barbaric as to engage in physical torture. Wouldn't want them to get tense and stringy :-)

This all sounds very fishy to me. I feel this thread has now gone to the dogs as have I and I really must do something about it. Tbh I blame Brexit terrible disease.

so long and thanks for all the fish!

Speaking of animals whose public persona is a stark contrast to their private life, has anyone mentioned otters and their penchant for cross-species paedophilic necrophilia?

They gang rape baby seals - usually drowning them in the process, and then drag the tiny corpses around with them for many days, to continue shagging them

And then they make sure they get their photos taken holding hands in the ocean and looking as cute as all get-out.

Shows what good PR will do.

Thought I was the only person who felt this way about dolphins. People keep showing me their holiday photos, swimming with dolphins and I have to try and stop myself before my nose subconsciously crinkles in distaste.

Dolphins. What bastards.

Resurrected from the www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3716060-To-ask-what-your-most-memorable-post-is-not-thread thread 😂😂 😂