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AIBU to want a naice smooth fanjo??

79 replies

Kittycuddles · 02/10/2018 04:54

SO just that really

Pros of my vagene

  • Sex

  • Masturbation

Cons of my fanjalina jolie

  • Ingrown hairs leave it looking like a hormonal teenage boys beard when he has shaved with a chlamlydia infected sword of a wilkos off brand 6th century razors.

  • My naice clean and neat n nice tidy landing strip now looks like what I would imagine Satans Gotee to look like. (soz b)

  • My hair grows back at a weird kinky wackamole fairground speed, why??

I even used a mud mask on my lady face when masking my REAL lady face earlier this morning.

Am I REALLY being stupid and naive to think that my life would be so much better emotionally if I could just have a naice smoothy smooth movie vaginal beauty.

Also how?? Do you manage a clean shave that lasts days?

Am I doing something wrong??

Am I excessively dirty?

I do wash down there.


Soz for the tmi but fed up of my fanjos fur coat having to hide my now rampant (two whole spots from picking an ingrown hair (or two)) lady face acne!

My dbf bless him doesn't seem to notice but it genuinaly makes me reaallll self conscious.

Especially as I have some unfortunate chemical burns from a bad mistake (slight mistake) with some veet or nair when I was much younger (two months ago) and definitely didn't repeat the whole dreaded acid process again naively a few weeks later (I totally did)

But it was all in my aim and quest for some smoothey smooth lady times

Minus the now burn scars

OP posts:
Broken11Girl · 02/10/2018 05:12
MrsMozart · 02/10/2018 05:17

No idea, but your post gave me a currently much needed giggle OP.

FurryDice · 02/10/2018 05:19

Fucking hell. I suggest leaving it alone and not doing all this messing about to supposedly make it ‘aesthetically pleasing’. It should be pleasing enough as nature intended.

All your faffing is obviously aggravating the fuck out of it.

Kittycuddles · 02/10/2018 05:19

@Broken11Girl .... Indeed

@MrsMozart I am v v glad that it did Grin Hopefully your in the land of shaver and razor burn free womanhood and wild femininity.

I apparently am alone on this lonely island of spotty snatches Grin

OP posts:
Kittycuddles · 02/10/2018 05:21

I only put the mud mask on ONCE today....

I normally leave it alone but keep it trimmed more for comfort than aesthetic actually and don't faff with it very often. I thought maybe that was the problem and I don't or didn't faffle with it ENOUGH?

OP posts:
Gnomesofthegalaxy · 02/10/2018 05:23

I get a Brazilian wax every 4-6 weeks.

Problem solved!

Kittycuddles · 02/10/2018 05:25


Does that remove the whole ingrown and shaver rash kinda thing?

I have heard about plucking 'down there' but weirdly enough I think it was being used as a self harm tatic by a guy that I once knew.

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 02/10/2018 05:26

Get it waxed professionally if you're that desperate, but please don't use all the words you've used in your OP if you go to a salon.

They are eye-rollingly unfunny 🙄

I can't believe you would put yourself through all of that, burns, scars, mud masks, spots etc., In the quest for a baldy fanny.

Sounds like you have spent more on products than you would have going to get it waxed professionally.

Kittycuddles · 02/10/2018 05:29


I was tryna use mn appropiate language

Also mud mask was for my face so no extra cost, nair n veet is hella cheap. The spots result from ingrown hairs which just seem to happen!

OP posts:
Rtmhwales · 02/10/2018 05:30

What about laser hair removal?

Unicornandbows · 02/10/2018 05:31

Get a Hollywood wax.. Doesn't grow for ages clean and smooth plus no ingrown if you exfoliate 10 days after waxing.

Exfoliation is key because little fanjo is stuck inside panties which puts pressure on the skin and causes ingrown hair.

First wax will hurt by the third you will not feel a thing. Also get chocolate wax as it's less aggressive

Ps don't do this at home not until you are used to being waxed. Don't do the home strips as they will not be strong enough and it will hurt.

Good luck with jolie

Gnomesofthegalaxy · 02/10/2018 05:32

Yeah no rash, usually no ingrowing hair, although when I was pregnant my skin didn't like it for some reason and I got loads of bumps. Exfoliate the area first for better results, I do it a couple of times in the week before I go but not on the day.

You'll never look back!

Kittycuddles · 02/10/2018 05:34

I want to get laser hair removal other places because I have a v v bad habit of picking anyway but it is much too expensive and also want to have the backing out choice of growing it again in the future without a toupee yano. But good idea anyway so thank you :)

Also thank you! Chocolate wax tho?
I mean ive waxed a lot before but all the strips where shit and managed to just pull them half an inch out or something whatever it did and left them still there but longer maybe??

Which is a hollywood? Is it the fully bald? :/

Thats pretty good if you remember to exfoliate, I wonder how expensive it is round here with mobile waxers n beauticians n shit x

Thank you!

OP posts:
explodingkitten · 02/10/2018 05:39

I was tryna use mn appropiate language

It made me wonder if you're a 12 yo boy wanting to hear stories about what everyones fanny looks like.

Actually, I'm still not convinced tbh.

Jozen · 02/10/2018 05:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sisgal · 02/10/2018 05:52

YABU for not spelling 'NICE' right. Its spelt N-I-C-E.....aaaaaahh!!!

Sisgal · 02/10/2018 05:53

PS no one cares about your hairy minge.

MoggyP · 02/10/2018 06:01

TL:DR: do something unnecessary to part of my body, causing frequent irritation and soreness. What shouid I do?

Majority answer: stop doing it
(Other possible answer, pay for someone else to inflict damage)

meditrina · 02/10/2018 06:02

fanjo is MN slang.

The rest really isn't

bimbobaggins · 02/10/2018 06:06

jozen Grin

RefuseTheLies · 02/10/2018 06:07

That is possibly more thought than I’ve ever given to my fanny in my entire life, and I’m now pushing 40.

Take up a hobby and leave your foof alone Grin

Sparklingbrook · 02/10/2018 06:11

What is a vagene? Actually don't answer that. Who cares?


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SynchroSwimmer · 02/10/2018 06:12

Braun Epilator is my recommend.

Phillips Lumea for more longer lasting effect.

QuacksInTheDark · 02/10/2018 06:14

🎵 its your fanjo
You can wax if you want
Shave if you want to
Veet if you want to🎵

NotANotMan · 02/10/2018 06:17

I shave. Use proper gel shaving foam and buy men's 3-4 blade razors. Shave with the direction of growth.
If you get razor burn you can apply a mild hydrocortisone cream for a couple of days.

Don't have laser removal. My friend did and now she has a permanent landing strip circa 2004 and feels her lady garden is very dated!

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