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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smelly people

90 replies

Maisymoo22 · 29/07/2018 16:06

We have new people in our church and they absolutely stink to high heavens. Excuse the pun.
While I really wouldn’t want to discourage them from coming, AIBU to think that the Pastor’s wife should take them aside for a quiet word? 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2018 16:07

Why is it down to the pastor’s wife?

Nightmanagerfan · 29/07/2018 16:07

Why is it the Pastor’s wife’s job?

And maybe they are poor - have no washing machine etc.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/07/2018 16:07

Surely the pastor is equally capable of offering support?

TopShagger · 29/07/2018 16:08

If you're of a religious bent, which it seems you are, then point them to the verse that says "thou shalt cleanse thine self daily" - and tell them God won't be impressed because they aren't reading the manual.

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 29/07/2018 16:08

Why? Why is it the pastor’s wife, or anyone else at church’s business to do this? You have no idea what these people’s lives are like, having basically strangers tell them they’re smelly isn’t going to make them feel very welcome.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 29/07/2018 16:08

Why the pastor's wife , specifically?

Why can't the pastor do it? Or a concerned member of the church? Or, you know, YOU?

PaulRuddislush · 29/07/2018 16:09

We have very pungent people in our church, they live in a hostel, life is difficult for them. I wouldn't dream of saying anything.

glintandglide · 29/07/2018 16:09

Of course you Abu. They can be smelly if they want. What on Earth does it have to do with the pastors wife? Why can’t you tell them yourself if it bothers you that much?

DannyDogg · 29/07/2018 16:10

Get one of the elders to do it

glintandglide · 29/07/2018 16:10

“Elders”?!

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 29/07/2018 16:10

As a side note - we run a foodbank at church, we’re always in need of washing stuff for clothes and people but don’t get donated nearly enough for those that need it. If you’re on a low income and struggling to afford basic things, food will always come before cleaning products.

I always encourage people to consider donating toiletries and household products instead of food.

Sleepyslops · 29/07/2018 16:10

Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you.

HoleyCoMoley · 29/07/2018 16:11

Why don't you speak to them yourself. How very kind of you not to want to discourage new parishioners.Sad

DannyDogg · 29/07/2018 16:16

It was tongue in cheek - why the pastors wife, give it to a man to deal with so yes, elder en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_(Christianity) @glintandglide

ZoeWashburne · 29/07/2018 16:16

How very unChristian of you. Shame on you.

Pengggwn · 29/07/2018 16:21

AIBU to think that the Pastor’s wife should take them aside for a quiet word? 🤷🏼‍♀️

This has made me laugh so much! The poor Pastor's wife!

Do it yourself! Or, better yet, leave them alone!

MirabelleStarr · 29/07/2018 16:25

Maybe they own a whisky distillery. Those places can stink.

And maybe, as other posters have said, they can’t afford toiletries/showering/clean clothes very often.

Why do I ever think people with strong religious beliefs should be kinder and more understanding? I don’t know, because the opposite is usually true.

And Goody Pastor Wife has probably had it up to here with people telling her all the pastor wifely things she should in their unsolicited opinion be doing.

And remember: ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged.’

TornFromTheInside · 29/07/2018 16:41

Maybe your attitude stinks.
They can wash their smell away relatively easily, but it's harder to change attitude.

Chances are, there's a reason they smell - maybe focus on discovering those reasons and the circumstances, and address those things.

Leesa65 · 29/07/2018 16:43

Hahaa

Love your Christian values OP . Hmm

YABU

TornFromTheInside · 29/07/2018 16:45

This is a cunning ruse to increase the numbers of adult baptisms.

dudsville · 29/07/2018 16:46

I think the topic of smelliness should be the focus of the next sermon, and then the congregation should follow that with a prayer for all those who have body odor, perhaps with an anointing of the smelly ones, or.... you know, not.

Original poster
Maisymoo22 · 29/07/2018 16:52

Didn’t mean to sound judgy I’m really not. I have a weak stomach and am inclined to gag and heave a bit when smelling certain bad smells.
I do know about them actually because they live in the house opposite me and are definitely not homeless.
The reason I said about the pastor’s wife is that she has a more gentle approach than most and so would be least likely to offend them which of course I don’t want to happen.
I think if you know you’re going to be among people then the least you can do is get clean.
Most other people do,so why should I have to avoid them through fear of throwing up over them. Not my fault if I have a weak stomach and sensitive nose.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maisymoo22 · 29/07/2018 16:54

Funny though that the people who said not to judge are judging me lol

OP posts:
Rebecca36 · 29/07/2018 16:56

It is quite disrespectful to mix with people in an unwashed state.
These people need to be told, tactfully. Even poor people manage to keep themselves clean and have clean clothes. No excuse in this day and age, we're not in post-war 1950s with rationing and no bathrooms.

It has to be dealt with sensitively though. I don't know what your pastor's wife is like, maybe someone else could speak to them in a caring way. They are in the wrong though, not you for objecting to it and you cannot be the only ones.

glintandglide · 29/07/2018 16:57

It’s not your fault you have a weak stomach but it is your problem. Other people don’t need to change their behaviour because of it.

I can’t imagine nothing worse than having to tell someone they smell. It would be so embarrassing to humiliate them like that. Why on earth would you expect someone else to do it?