Smelly people

[Maisymoo22]

We have new people in our church and they absolutely stink to high heavens. Excuse the pun.
While I really wouldn’t want to discourage them from coming, AIBU to think that the Pastor’s wife should take them aside for a quiet word? 🤷🏼‍♀️

HoleyCoMoley. I’ll just leave it and not say anything then.

Didn’t come on to be judgy, or gossipy, just wanted advice really.

I’ll try not to breathe when they’re near me and I don’t mean that facetiously it’s just that way I can block out the smell.

Anyway I won’t be commenting on this thread any more today as I’m going to have a bath ready for church!

Humanists don't have church because we don't believe in all that crap.

HTH.

YANBU...It's a sackable offence in Japan to have body odour at work, as it's selfish to inflict the smell of your decomposing bacteria on other people.

I have a smelly person in my church. I’ve got used to it over the years. I think I’d miss the smell now if he ever went away. We love him and the smell is part of the package. Same as he puts up with whatever I do that annoys him. It’s cruel to confront someone on this issue unless they are a very very very good friend imo. So form a strong enough friendship that this matter could be raised - as a side issue not a condition of friendship - or suck it up and ask the Lord for strength to deal with it. This latter option is not available to you if it is indeed a humanist church.

Presumably it is a Christian church, in which case, I bet Jesus never told anyone to take a bath - although he did wash their feet for them... maybe invite them to your house and offer to shower them before lunch? (I jest).

Sprinkle them with Holy Water. About 10 gallons of it.

I would speak to someone in church who might know their situation and be able to tacfully offer support.

Much as people are claiming they wouldn't care, bad BO is extremely unpleasant and it's quite poor form to be going out stinking.

If they are hard up and need a hand then someone at church could help. If they aren't hard up then someone needs to make them aware that it's not ok.

I think that, as a religious person, you could attempt to show a bit of compassion.

If you're lending them money each week surely that suggests that they don't have a lot of money and can't afford laundry products.

OP I completely understand your struggle with the smelll. I don’t agree it’s up to the pastors wife though. It’s a very difficult subject and few understand it unless they have the same sensitivity. A lot of people often don’t realise they smell. I’ve experienced at work. And at church.

TODAY, at church all was going well until 5 mins into the sermon, a couple of people came in and sat in the row in front. I can assure you were not living in poverty. One of them decided to partly take their shoes off. The stench was over powering and ds1 wanted to gag. We couldn’t speak or breathe properly for fear of getting a mouthful down. Every so often they would put them back on to stand up and sing only to flip them off again after sitting. It was awful. Some people just can’t smell their own smell.

A few years ago we had to leave a church because of a rather unfortunate man with a leg ulcer. Of course there was nothing he could do about it, poor thing. But there was nothing we could do about it either. The smell enveloped us and clung, leaving us feeling I’ll. Other parishioners clearly couldn’t smell it or it didn’t smell that bad to them. I used to sit far away from this man in front and he used to sit at the other far end, but I didn’t need to see him to know he had arrived, the smell just travelled through the air. It was so frustrating I prayed to lose my sense of smell, he seemed a really nice man but we just couldn’t be in the same room as him.

OP you might need to change where you sit or vary the time you attend service if that is an option. Last resort might be to move church. There really is no other option. I guess it’s one of those unavoidable things that you get when lots of people congregate.

Ah, your church has dodgy self appointed 'pastors'. I guess you're one of those happy clappy evangelical lot. You'd probably be best to carry on taking their money and holding your noses.

When I started my current job I had workplace training on how to sensitivly tell employees that they had BO! I sympathise because it really is awful and not fair to inflict it on other people.

This is one of the reasons why people who may want to go to church are too frightened to.
Judgementalism, (is that a word?) snobbery, coldness. I could go on.
Fwiw, I come from a christian background but am firmly agnostic. I take my daughter to church because it is the faith she was born into. I want her know what to do in church at the very least.
We moved areas, 9 months it took for someone to speak to us at our new church. I bet your lot are like that too.

I re read the drip, you know her family and she is asking for money. Try to find the root cause and then try to help?

Also, "Other parishioners clearly couldn’t smell it or it didn’t smell that bad to them." No, they were polite enough to ignore it because he was entitled to worship like anyone else.

OP I think you're getting a hard time

I don't think there's any excuse for people to smell, unless they are homeless with no access to washing facilities.
I think it's lazy and disgusting when people don't wash or use deodorant.
Sadly some people are just like this through choice

But I do think you could have a word.

Strippervicar _ Please explain to me how you, ‘politely’ ignore a smell that’s making you gag? Because I would really like to know.

@ItsHot learn not to gag would be my snarky answer. Menthol under the nose is always a good one. If menthol also makes you gag. Nah, I'm lost.

‘Learn not to gag’, ? Gagging or heaving is a natural reflex, It’s the senses way of telling you there’s is something unpleasant nearby (rotting flesh /bacteria on the feet). The nose is for smelling both good and bad.

Smelling something bad is not ‘judging’, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Do you sit and smile next to poo as well?

.

Only Christians call themselves pastors. Lamb of god and all that.
So no, no one was really 'too quick to bad mouth christians'.

@ProfessorMoody

churchofhumanism.org

I'm an atheist and went to couple of humanist group things once....they were a bit churchy.

I decided to stick with misanthropy

That's religious humanism. They're batshit

Miss Ann Thropy - Wonderful Lady

OP I'd ask the pastor to have a word

do they ever return this "borrowed" money?

At least we know they aren't running a money laundering operation

Watch out - those 'smelly people' might be angels in disguise!

I encounter lots of smelly people at work. It's horrible as I'm sensitive to strong smells. I can never say anything though. It's a few moments out of my day. It's the food smells that get me. I swear there's one family that uses a chip pan 3 times a day. I'm just grateful I don't work with them, I honestly couldn't cope!