I think I’ve just found the cheekiest CF!

[QuinoaPhoenix]

A woman (she’s turning 27 but acts 12) I went to school with has posted the following on FB and I’m howling with laughter at the CFery of it all...edited out the identifying bits.

It's my birthday on [XXXX] and whilst I'm not EXPECTING presents, if anyone wants to get me something, here is my wishlist ✨

Makeup!!! - Eyeshadows from nyx cosmetics and liquid lipsticks from Smashbox are my favourites. I also love nail varnishes! (I've heard KIKO are the best.)

A phonecase - I’m kind of morally against SKINNYDIP after having worked for them but something similar to their stuff would be cool. I prefer the jelly/bendy ones to the hard metal or plastic ones cos at least if you drop your phone it will just bounce! I have found this really amazing girl on instagram who makes them (inspired by flower fairies and crystals and nature!) instagram.com/tuppencestore/
I’ll add some pics of the kind I like. I have an iPhone 6S.

A cute card holder - So I don’t lose my oyster card UH-GAIN.

A new purse - I mean, I really want a Vivienne Westwood one (hey, I never said this list had to be realistic, did I?) But if anyone’s feeling flush and thinks I’m worth £150, I’m after either the ‘Pimlico Long Card Holder’ or the ‘Balmoral Long Card Holder’ - I’ll let you choose (pics below.)

Tarot Cards - Just a traditional deck. Apparently you can’t buy cards for yourself or it skews the energy. However, if anyone wants to get me some, I will def accept their energy into my life!

Crystals/Candles - Always good for witch stuff.

Plants - I LOVE PLANTS

Anything from Urban Outfitters or Oliver Bonas - I especially love their homewares and trinkety things!

Exciting vegan snacks - e.g. crazy luxe stuff like lucuma nut butters, chia jam, booja booja chocolates (my absolute fave) just the kind of things I’d never buy for myself bc let’s be real I live off rice and veg.

More glittery socks? I like the Topshop ones the best ✨

I’m agog! Is this even a thing or AIBU

Bollocks, accidentally posted under my temp namechange from my last post but never mind! Enjoy

She forgot to add the pony.

Cheeky cow.

I’m fucking howling!

She’s getting sweet fa.

Where’s the cuddley toy?
bit slack imho

I think you’ve put an awful lot of details about that person in your post

I know they worked for skinny pop, is probably Wiccan and also vegan. I hope you changed details?

*skinnydip

Has she got a lot of family on there? It's probably aimed at them rather than casual acquaintances...

I realise I may be clutching at straws though!

Oh nope, all of those are real details. I’ve shared nothing that she hasn’t shared herself on her public profile.

Schrödingers I know at least 8 people this could be tbh.

I mean I personally would love plants but I wouldn't demand them in a huge list

@Milk oh she’s definitely aiming it at her entire friends list! She’s not the sort of person to be joking either, this is all real I’m embarrassed for her! Reminds me of when my sister used to sit with the Argos catalogue circling stuff when she was about 5

For her birthday give her a list of what you want for yours

Bloody hell is she turning sweet 16? If it had gone in an email or a group chat of her family or a couple of good friends, fair enough if slightly bratty. Posted for everyone? Looks a bit grabby & pathetic. Much as I'd giggle, any chance it's an accident & it should have been private?

I bet she gets nothing...in what world does she think people look at her Facebook page and buy her presents off a list...I mean who does she thinks she is a kardashian 😂

@HeartStrings

My favourite part of it all is the ‘EXPECTING’.

It’s hilariously mad

Just read your latest, OP. X-posted. Well no point buying her a brass neck. A) It's not on the list, B) she already has one.

Hahah nope! It was posted a week ago and has 17 comments, basically her friends taking the piss

6 hours sorry! She’s also commented so no chance it was an accidental broadcast. Also a few comments from likeminded brats and hippie weirdos about tarot cards

Hahahaha! I might have to try this when it's my Birthday. 😂😂😂😂

What do the comments say, what do the comments say, what do the comments say????

To be fair the tarot cards thing is genuine but when I got mine I asked my friend to buy them then sent her the money - so she wasn't out of pocket!

Someone’s commented a link to a video called ‘birthday demands’ and she’s replied ‘I feel attacked’

So what have you bought OP?!

Really want to know what the comments say!

Thought I might treat her to some fucking humble pie!

Vegan, obviously