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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are my parents?

91 replies

applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 22:58

We're travelling to Spain next month for a family wedding, it has been a massive financial issue for DH & I and we have had to really scrimp and save since finding out about the wedding less than a year ago.

I'm from a family of 5 children and many of us have children/partners so we're split across two villas (a 5 minute drive apart). One villa has use of two travel costs (and only needs one) the other has use of none. I'm in the villa with no cots but I require one. It'll cost me an additional £50 to take our travel cot out with us. My parents have said categorically I cannot use the spare cot from their villa as that would be dishonest. I think this is a bit OTT. We are going for a week and I always take very good care of things. They know I'm massively struggling financially but they won't budge Sad AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
shakeyourcaboose · 14/07/2018 23:01

Could you not swap with a couple who are in the villa with the cot?

Friendofsadgirl · 14/07/2018 23:01

Can't you stay in the villa with the spare cot?

MoonsAndJunes · 14/07/2018 23:03

Your parents are thoughtless and ridiculous.

FarrahMoan · 14/07/2018 23:03

YANBU

I can only imagine they don't trust you to take care of it?

Doyoumind · 14/07/2018 23:03

How old is your baby?

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:05

Nope, I can't swap unfortunately (long back story as to why). It just feels such a trivial issue being made into a drama. I could borrow the cot, return it and no one would be any the wiser. I really don't have a spare £50. I've got into debt just to go to the wedding, this feels like such a needless thing to pay for Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:07

They know I'll take care of it, they know I'm very careful with things so that can't be the issue. My mum isn't a very nice person and likes to make my life difficult for me, this is just another example of it.

DD is just turned 2 and I've tried her in a bed/in with me before and it's a nightmare. Also the villa has a pool which isn't gated so I prefer the idea of her being in a cot as opposed to a bed.

OP posts:
BalancingStick · 14/07/2018 23:09

Can you liaise with whoever else is sharing the villa with your parents, cut your mum out of the issue?

Rainer · 14/07/2018 23:12

Can you say you're concerned about the pool to her?

katycb · 14/07/2018 23:13

Whilst I think they are being ridiculous and you should totally be able to borrow it .ost airlines let you take a travel cot for free. Who are you flying with? We have flown extensively with our twins on various budget airlines and have never had to pay for cot, buggy or car seats.

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:14

I've said all of that to my parents. It's my parents who booked the villa and they have communicated with the owners, no one else has dealt with the owners. If I ask my siblings to help it'll just get them in hot water with my mum and then I'll get accused of going behind their backs.

OP posts:
Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:16

I need to travel with 2 car seats and a pushchair. The airline will let me travel with 2 items per child (a pushchair and a second item). So I can take the pushchair and one car seat for DD1 and I can only take one item for DD2 since she doesn't need a pushchair.

OP posts:
limitedscreentime · 14/07/2018 23:19

Can you beg or borrow an umbrella pushchair bag and squeeze the travel cot into that? They don’t open it...

frasier · 14/07/2018 23:20

Why would it be dishonest? Are the villas owned by different people? Can you contact the villa and ask them if they have one you can borrow?

macdhui · 14/07/2018 23:21

There is nothing dishonest about it, your mother is being ridiculous. It’s like saying they can’t swim in your pool !
I would contact the owner of your villa and see if they are able to hire one for you. They might even be able to borrow one for you - that’s what I would try and do if I received a similar request.

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:22

Yes, the villas are owned by different people. I think it's one of those questions where if you ask the owners, there's a high chance they'll say no. I suppose it is dishonest, but I'd borrow it for 7 nights, replace it and no one would ever know any different.

OP posts:
AtomicSquirrel · 14/07/2018 23:24

They are being utterly ridiculous. You need a cot, they have one, end of story. What is actually wrong with people!

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 14/07/2018 23:25

I went to a villa where a cot was included once, and I didn’t dare put my child in it... you might be better off taking your own!

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:28

In all honesty, I'm just pleased to hear you all think I'm being reasonable as they were really making me doubt myself there. I'm honestly done with them. I know this sounds awful but I've had 30 years of them treating me this way and it's just unbearable 😞

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 14/07/2018 23:30

I'd tell them to fuck off... and shove the Wedding... stay at home and enjoy the fact they are all over there Flowers

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:31

Thanks Gemini! Luckily I've got some lovely siblings who'll make it all worth while I'm sure. Saving grace is that I'm not sharing a villa with my mum.

OP posts:
unicorn56 · 14/07/2018 23:32

big hugs op, I'm not sure what to suggest but wanted to let you know you are not being unreasonable. Your mum should have made sure the villa you were staying at had a cot.

AudiQ2 · 14/07/2018 23:32

Cancel the trip! Get your money back or most of it and tell whoever the wedding is for, that you'll come see them another time and celebrate!

Why get yourself in debt for someone else's wedding???

Wdigin2this · 14/07/2018 23:33

Are you really sure you want to go on this trip? Sounds to me as if it could be a nightmare!

angelikacpickles · 14/07/2018 23:33

I need to travel with 2 car seats and a pushchair. The airline will let me travel with 2 items per child (a pushchair and a second item). So I can take the pushchair and one car seat for DD1 and I can only take one item for DD2 since she doesn't need a pushchair.

I don't understand this. You have 2 children - 2 car seats, a pushchair and a travel cot = 4 pieces of baby equipment. So you can bring them all.

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