AIBU or are my parents?

[applecrumbled5]

We're travelling to Spain next month for a family wedding, it has been a massive financial issue for DH & I and we have had to really scrimp and save since finding out about the wedding less than a year ago.

I'm from a family of 5 children and many of us have children/partners so we're split across two villas (a 5 minute drive apart). One villa has use of two travel costs (and only needs one) the other has use of none. I'm in the villa with no cots but I require one. It'll cost me an additional £50 to take our travel cot out with us. My parents have said categorically I cannot use the spare cot from their villa as that would be dishonest. I think this is a bit OTT. We are going for a week and I always take very good care of things. They know I'm massively struggling financially but they won't budge AIBU or are they?

Don't rely on a travel cot as pool safety, every two year old I know can climb out of a standard cot let alone a travel cot.

Getting into debt for a wedding is ridiculous though, you should have just rsvpd no to the invite.

Hi OP - I know this doesn’t solve the pool issue - perhaps someone else will have an idea on that front - but for sleeping what about an inflatable ready bed for the 2 year old? They are pretty cheap (eg this is in the sale at Argos for £15 - hideous design but would do the job - www.argos.co.uk/product/7503995?cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59156%7Cacid:444-797-0832%7Ccid:189949525%7Cagid:18091974325%7Ctid:aud-144400486596:pla-446534279885%7Ccrid:77627773765%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:17975111044378064979%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o1%7Cmt:%7Cloc:9045671&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_Yv139yg3AIVxp3tCh0PJQCFEAQYASABEgJOB_D_BwE) and could be packed in your suitcase.

We own a villa in Spain, (Benalmadena) and we hire baby equipment in for our guests as extras,
We have buggies, travel cot, safety gates and high chair but if there are 2 babies we hire in from our local hire company.
Could you ask your villa owner to hire one for you?
Where are you going I could see if I can find the link to your nearest hire company
or you could order one from Amazon .es and get it delivered to the villa, the owner might even buy it off you if they dont have one.

Your mother is being completely unreasonable, there is no reason not to lend you the spare travel cot.
I'd get this holiday out of the way and cut ties, you don't need toxic people in your life like that. X

I was going to suggest a ready bed. They're great for small childen. Your 2 yr old may be too big for a travel cot anyway. Make sure the doors are all locked last thing at night so she can't get to the pool.

I think the op is worried about her child getting out and into the pool. I don’t think there is a lack of beds.

Our travel cot goes up to age five so I doubt the child will be too big.

I'd talk directly to whoever will be in the villa that has the travel cot (other than your mum) and appeal to their good sense.

I also would consider not going or cutting ties with them after the wedding. They sound awful. What is your relationship like with the people who are actually getting married?

Can you get a big duffle bag and put both the travel cot and buggy into it (buggy on top). You could be travelling with a huge double buggy, so they will probably not even check

The more I think about this, the more I think you have to take matters into your own hands. You are paying for the villa, speak to the owner. If you don’t have the details get them from your mother. You’re an adult, a mum, you need the details of where you are staying. Override her!

Or, is it too late to book your own place. In future always do that. She controlling and to your detriment.

Some great suggestions

• talk directly to the owner of the villa with cots to ask if one can be borrowed
• talk directly to the owner of the other villa to ask if they can provide a cot
• hire a cot locally
• carry the cot in a pushchair bag

Stop relying on your mum's goodwill if you know she won't help! Sort it out yourself and take pleasure in telling her that you didn't have to pay the £50

If the 2 year old is your younger dd, is your older one big enough to travel in a trunki boostapak car seat? If so is there anyone you could borrow one from? Then she can carry this on board as hand luggage and you wouldn’t have to take a car seat for her, and you could take the cot as her piece of extra child luggage.

Bit convoluted but just another idea!

OP are you sure one item absolutely MUST be a pushchair?

I've seen what it says on the website but can't you give them a call to ask? Either way travel cots etc are all allowed so I can't imagine it being a huge issue to check in a travel cot in the place of a pushchair.
It's worth a try.

mumpatrol Problem is, it won’t be the same people on the gate as on the phone. I had an issue once carrying workstuff from Singapore. People on the phone said fine, people on the gate said no...

The website is clear it is a pushchair plus another item. The OP says the airline are quite strict about it, so I wouldn’t leave it to chance.

Could you buy a very cheap second hand travel cot (we just sold our like-new one for a fiver because unneeded the space!) and then not bring it back? Then you would only need to pay for it one way? Still more money than you want to spend (and your mum IBU) but would save you a bit!

I’ve just checked and to hire a travel cot for 7 days inspain is 35 euros. They deliver too - this is Andalucia - Costa del sol, don’t know where you are going to.

Your (d)m sounds awful. How can she treat her children that way?

OP can you not take a pushchair for one of your siblings children and they take your cot? So somehow move around the allowance?

I think £50 is a cheap price for not having to share with your parents from how youve described it!