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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are my parents?

91 replies

applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 22:58

We're travelling to Spain next month for a family wedding, it has been a massive financial issue for DH & I and we have had to really scrimp and save since finding out about the wedding less than a year ago.

I'm from a family of 5 children and many of us have children/partners so we're split across two villas (a 5 minute drive apart). One villa has use of two travel costs (and only needs one) the other has use of none. I'm in the villa with no cots but I require one. It'll cost me an additional £50 to take our travel cot out with us. My parents have said categorically I cannot use the spare cot from their villa as that would be dishonest. I think this is a bit OTT. We are going for a week and I always take very good care of things. They know I'm massively struggling financially but they won't budge Sad AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 14/07/2018 23:56

what does your DH or Father think about this fiasco lovely Flowers

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 14/07/2018 23:58

DH hates the whole family set up but unfortunately is overseas just now so I'm dealing with it on my own. My dad just goes along with my mum.

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 15/07/2018 00:02

How does your mum treat your siblings? Any favourites in there or do you all get this treatment?

AdaColeman · 15/07/2018 00:05

Tell your Mother that you're not going on the trip, and ask for any money you've paid to be refunded.

ReasonableLlama · 15/07/2018 00:08

Am I right in thinking a sibling staying in the villa with the cots? If so, why do they get an easy ride and use of the cot instead of you? Is there anyway they could perhaps go halves with you; as presumably they would be paying out if they were allocated the other Villa? Do they have an allowance which will let them take the travel cot instead of you?

Apologies if I have the wrong end of the stick.

frasier · 15/07/2018 00:11

Yes, just thought of that, can anyone else going with a child take the cot for you?

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 15/07/2018 00:12

She can be nasty to us all but she definitely sucks up to my sister at times. Probably as a way to make me feel excluded. I really have no idea how her twisted mind works.

OP posts:
Motheroffourdragons · 15/07/2018 00:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 15/07/2018 00:13

Yes, just thought of that, can anyone else going with a child take the cot for you?

I'll look into this but I don't think so. I think everyone else will be using their allowances but worth a double check Smile thank you.

OP posts:
Motheroffourdragons · 15/07/2018 00:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

Oyeen · 15/07/2018 00:28

I think you should not go on that trip. If your mum does not see the need to accommodate her grand daughter's need. I doubt if it will be a fun trip for you.

Knittedfairies · 15/07/2018 00:33

Tell her that your 2 year old will be using the travel cot in your mum’s villa , and she is looking after your daughter - see how long it takes her to suggest you take the travel cot over to your villa 😀...

Seriously though, have you asked your siblings for help/advice?

quizqueen · 15/07/2018 00:39

If all the villas are owned by the same person/company then speak to them direct about moving stuff around. If they are owned independently then it is not right that you use something that you haven't booked. Can't you just swap villas with your parents and the the cots will be there then! Contact the owner anyway and they may be able to acquire one for you from someone locally they know in the same business.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/07/2018 00:46

Is there any chance you can talk to the owners of the villa you're staying in and ask if they have a cot that you can borrow at all? They might be able to find one for you.

Your mum is a cast iron bitch, by the way - I'm sorry you're having to go through this. :( Thanks

confusedmomm · 15/07/2018 00:56

Your parents are totally unreasonable.

hellohello12345 · 15/07/2018 08:18

This is ridiculous your mum is being crazy. I would tell everyone who is staying in the two villas about it and see what they all say. Perhaps that will embarrass your mum into changing her mind.

DoveBlue · 15/07/2018 08:52

According to Ryanair website additional baby items cost £15 online to buy each way but £25 each way at airport. You could buy online to go over and on way back see if anyone could help you out including it in their allowance if not buy online before come back. Doesn't fix the situation but may save you £20
YANBU

WhiteWalkerWife · 15/07/2018 09:09

Your mum doesnt sound pleasant. No way should you be in debt over this. I would be upset if my sibling got into debt for my wedding, or my dc did for dsibs.

Tbh if there is enough time for B&G to cancel your place then i would cancel and collect refunds were possible.

CusheyButterfield · 15/07/2018 09:09

Can you borrow an 'arc' travel cot from someone? We had one and they weigh about 2kg and pack up really small. It would fit in your luggage.

Booboobooboo84 · 15/07/2018 09:23

Worked for Ryanair- pop it in a pushchair bag. They don’t open it. And tbh wouldn’t know what they were looking for anyways. If your really worried just whack a couple of spare pushchair wheels in the bag. You could also put the travelcot in a travel bag with the pushchair. They won’t care about this either.

Original poster
applecrumbled5 · 15/07/2018 09:27

Doveblue it's £25 post booking or at the airport. It's only £15 if you book it when you make the booking, if that makes sense. So it would be £50 for me.

OP posts:
tenterden · 15/07/2018 09:33

I have a mother like this. I am completely NC with her because of shit stunts like this so I feel your pain.

Long term you need to decide how much more of this you are going to put yourself and your family through.

Short term, have you looked into getting a travel cot hire at the other end? Or just buy a new one and have it delivered? A two year old shouldn't come to too much harm in a cheapy £30 one surely?

This way you can duck out of some horrendous family activity/meal with DM on the basis that you had to pay out the extra for the cot Grin

ReadingRiot · 15/07/2018 09:39

It sounds like a terrible situation and imo you'd be better off not going at all.

However, if if it's too late for that, then will a 2yo go/stay in a travel cot. If the reason is to keep her safe from the pool, I don't know a two year old who couldn't escape from a small cot. How do people keep a 3 (or 4) yo safe from a pool without a cot?

Penfold007 · 15/07/2018 09:48

The Ryanair web site says two pieces of infant equipment, email them and check. Contact villa owners, they may have a travel cot you can use.

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