Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To feel pressured to sell my inheritance

98 replies

sayerville · 24/04/2018 22:16

DD is 22, currently living at home, working until her teacher training in Spetember. She wants her independence, hates living with her dad and wants to move out, however she won't have enough student loan to live on so....I inherited my parents home and I am currently renting, I offered her this place rent free but she (understandably) doesn't want to live there. I am thinking should I sell, buy something else, let her live in it for a while then rent later, or use the rent from this to pay her rent next year or, re-mortgage the inherited property and buy something else? She is adamant she is moving in Sept but I have also said there are other costs and I don't think she could afford to run a house on a student loan. I feel somewhat pressured but we can't carry on in this situation! I just want us all to live together in harmony until he can get a job to fund herself a year from September, it would be a hell of a lot cheaper all round. Ideas please?

OP posts:

Uptehmountain · 24/04/2018 22:19

don't think she could afford to run a house on a student loan.
Could she not flatshare with other students and you either rent your inheritance out or live in it yourself to save/earn some money off it.

SusanneLinder · 24/04/2018 22:20

Why can't your DD get a job to fund herself? I know we want to help our kids, but you already offered her a solution and she turned it down. Sorry, but I wouldn't be selling your inheritance. You might need it later.

5foot5 · 24/04/2018 22:22

I offered her this place rent free but she (understandably) doesn't want to live there.
Why is it understandable? What is wrong with the place that she wouldn't want to live in it even if it was rent free?

And as PP said - surely she would have a flat or house share like most students.

Has she not lived away before?

Original poster

sayerville · 24/04/2018 22:23

She has been saving money from her current job for next year, it'll be a full on course and I imagine stressful so she couldn't work, she would have to be using her savings to live off which isn't a good idea, until she has finished her course.

OP posts:

steff13 · 24/04/2018 22:23

Don't sell your inheritance. Your daughter is 22 and has a job. If she wants to be independent, she can be.

Ickyockycocky · 24/04/2018 22:25

Do not sell your inheritance. It will provide an income for you for years to come and will supplement your pension.

Your daughter needs to step up and sort herself out. My brother’s daughter lived in a one room flat whilst doing her PGCE and worked in a bar to pay for it.

LoveManyTrustfew · 24/04/2018 22:25

Give your head a wobble, you offered a solution, she declined, move on. For the love of God.

SusanneLinder · 24/04/2018 22:26

Most students have full on courses and manage to work. DD2 was a student nurse with coursework and placement and still managed shifts as a Careworker.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 24/04/2018 22:27

If it’s a PGCE course, another job will be a non starter. Most people doing that will be flatsharing though. I wouldn’t sell your house.

AtSea1979 · 24/04/2018 22:27

Your DD is choosing to do her teacher training and to move out. If she can’t afford it then she needs to compromise she’s old enough to work that out for herself.
Why don’t you live in the house or sell it and buy somewhere yourself?

ReanimatedSGB · 24/04/2018 22:27

She hates living with her dad? Would a more economical solution be to make him move out?

DillyDilly · 24/04/2018 22:27

Don’t attempt to sell. Be saving some or all of the rent to use to your retirement when it comes.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/04/2018 22:28

Do NOT sell this property. This could be crucial for your financial future. She doesn't want to live there?? For free! Well that's her problem then. She is 22 years old. Let her sort it out then.

Boredofthisnow86 · 24/04/2018 22:28

It's her choice and her time to figure out the real world and the costs involved. Dont be so silly, let her cut her own path. Which includes playing extortionate rents and accepting that sometimes you just have to lower expectations of where you can and cant afford to live. Just like everyone else.

Jux · 24/04/2018 22:29

Don't sell it unless you actually want to. Plenty of students manage on full on courses with stident loans and a few pt jobs. I know it's really hard for her, but selling your house is not the answer, you will regret it.

OreoMini · 24/04/2018 22:29

But you already offered her a solution and she turned it down?

C0untDucku1a · 24/04/2018 22:30

I had two jobs during my Pgce! And lived in a room in a house share.

Why cant she live with her dad?

Boredofthisnow86 · 24/04/2018 22:30

Why are you treating a 22yrold like a child? I'm only 32 and I had my own mortgage and house by 20. Mostly because I wasn't bloody spoilt.

Boredofthisnow86 · 24/04/2018 22:31

Oh and even full on courses have enough time for a job. Get real.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 24/04/2018 22:32

Do not sell your inheritance. Your parents left that to you to secure your future.

Your daughter is 22 - she can either share with other students, or suffer on living with you, or accept your kind offer of your parents house rent free, or use her savings (at her age it is reasonable to do so to fund training for her future career). She has many options and ways to catch up financially in the future - you don't need to compromise your own situation here.

Uptehmountain · 24/04/2018 22:32

So she won’t live in the house for free (why?), won’t live at home? She has many options, other people manage fine without parents selling houses and all sorts, let her crack on if she’s not happy with the two obvious solutions.

LordNibbler · 24/04/2018 22:33

She wants her independance, well that's understandable at 22. But it's not exactly being independent if she's expecting you to facilitate her housing is it? She's a grown woman, and needs to learn that you have to make sacrifices sometimes to get the career you want. That is not your responsibility. It's hers. You've offered her the house rent free and she's refused. Let her sort herself out now. You need to take care of yourself and your own future, and concentrate on what you need. You've supported her up to now. It's her turn to be an adult and take care of this herself. I know that's hard, because we want to help our children get the best start in life. But there comes a day when we have to let them be grown ups and sort problems out for themselves.

allchangenochange · 24/04/2018 22:36

I don't completely understand the housing situation but if your dd has turned down a free place to stay it is her issue to find somewhere else.
I did a full time vocational course with placements and worked so I could afford rent.

SusanneLinder · 24/04/2018 22:39

Oh and managed to get top grades...it is possible.

Livinglifepeachy · 24/04/2018 22:43

When it comes to demanding uni courses I'm a student nurse and believe me juggling placement coursework and work is not a problem hard at times but do able. Please don't make excuses for her as so many students don't even get the full maintenance loan etc yet they work and make it work without help from parents.

Flip

1 2 3 4