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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DC birthday party photo

87 replies

Whitecup · 25/02/2018 22:07

It was my DDs (Y6) birthday last week. This weekend we took 10 of her classmates for a meal at a local restaurant. Half way through the evening I took a photo of them all and sent it to their parents as part of a text thanking them for the gifts and to explain how good they’d all been etc via a private message.
Ive just gone on a social media site and seen one of the mums has uploaded the photo with a caption like “x living it up with her besties”. IABU to think that she should’ve just bloody kept it to herself!!

OP posts:
SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 25/02/2018 22:11

I’m on the fence. Do you have concerns?

Fairynormal · 25/02/2018 22:12

If anything she should have asked for your permission, I would have thought it was obvious, because you sent it via text message to everyone individually, that you didn't want it posting on SM. I would ask her to remove the picture or at least cover your DDs face xx^^

Tink2007 · 25/02/2018 22:12

I understand your point.

I doubt the mum would have even considered anything wrong with posting it; more likely just wanting to show off her DD being with your DD and other friends.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 25/02/2018 22:16

Are you worried about privacy or that she posted the pic without mentioning it was your DDs birthday party thus stealing her thunder a little bit?

Clawdy · 25/02/2018 22:16

Can't see why it's a problem really. Wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.

bluesouper · 25/02/2018 22:16

Mmmmmnyahhh I couldn't get worked up about that. Did you specify you didn't want it on social media? If you're friends with this mum on SM could you maybe have seen it's the kind of thing she would do from her posting history?
Everyone over shares nowadays, not saying that's a good thing at all but I would have assumed it was more likely than not that the photo might appear.

HanaK88 · 25/02/2018 22:16

You sent the photo out with no mention of keeping it private though?

frasier · 25/02/2018 22:17

Sound like the mother isn't used to her child eating out in a restaurant, thus "living it up" and wanted to show off. That makes her look rather pathetic.

She put the photo on the internet without permission from every parent I presume? That isn't cool.

She didn't acknowledge that it was your daughter's birthday but is pretending she treated them? Makes her look desperate.

She sounds a bit sad all round really!

(You can object to the SN site if you or another parent want the picture taken down.)

Happened · 25/02/2018 22:18

Wouldn't bother me, but she should have asked first. Is it because you don't want it on Facebook or because she stole your thunder by posting it first?

MyKingdomForBrie · 25/02/2018 22:18

I wouldn’t care but I have put pics of my dd on SM previously so it doesn’t matter to me. I think you need to tell people if you don’t want dc on SM.

Pollypudding · 25/02/2018 22:21

However you took a photo without the other parents’ permission. Sadly, these days, once you share a photo you have lost control of it.

calzone · 25/02/2018 22:23

Why does this bother you so much?

DoJo · 25/02/2018 22:25

I wouldn't want someone to post a picture of my children online, but in this situation, I would be more worried that one of the other parents would be upset that a picture of their children has been shared as they will know that it came from you (albeit they will probably understand that you didn't post if yourself and didn't expect it to be shared in that way).

frasier · 25/02/2018 22:28

Yep, what DoJo said.^

WooWooSister · 25/02/2018 22:29

What's your school's policy for pics? I know all the parents in our class let the school post pics on social media so all the parents do it too. If your's is the same then I can understand why she would have thought it was ok.

GreenTulips · 25/02/2018 22:29

Some people are just knobs and have no social awareness!

These are the ines that defend their 'rights' to do as they please

She won't take it down without a fight guaranteed.

BackforGood · 25/02/2018 22:29

I wouldn't put any photo on to social media without specifically checking with parents of all other dc on the photo, so I see where you are coming from.
However I wouldn't send a photo of 11 children, to 110 other sets of parents, and all the potential that is for sharing, either.

You can't have it both ways.

BlueMirror · 25/02/2018 22:30

Yabu. You took a phot of their child and sent it to all the other parents without asking so you can’t complain imo.

BackforGood · 25/02/2018 22:30

*10 even, not 110

frasier · 25/02/2018 22:35

WooWooSister Gosh, ours is a strict as anything. We have to sign something to give permission if a pic goes online. (Not the private diary sites or whatever which are for parents and password protected, but for anything public and posted worldwide.)

MrsDilber · 25/02/2018 22:37

I think once you have her the image, you can't take it back.

Original poster
Whitecup · 25/02/2018 22:38

I’m not really bothered about thunder stealing at albut I do feel uneasy that I text 10 people a photo that is now potentially available to hundreds of people. Maybe I should have asked them not to put it on any sites.

OP posts:
BlueMirror · 25/02/2018 22:39

The other parents didn’t give you permission to text their child’s picture to the other 9 though did they?

Original poster
Whitecup · 25/02/2018 22:40

What the hell are you on about bluemirror apart from talking absolute shite

OP posts:
frasier · 25/02/2018 22:40

Unfortunately it is now "potentially available" to the entire planet because any one of the posters viewers could copy it and put it anywhere they chose.

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