DC birthday party photo

[Whitecup]

It was my DDs (Y6) birthday last week. This weekend we took 10 of her classmates for a meal at a local restaurant. Half way through the evening I took a photo of them all and sent it to their parents as part of a text thanking them for the gifts and to explain how good they’d all been etc via a private message.
Ive just gone on a social media site and seen one of the mums has uploaded the photo with a caption like “x living it up with her besties”. IABU to think that she should’ve just bloody kept it to herself!!

@bluemirror makes a good point.

Honestly, you're being ridiculous.

" now potentially available to hundreds of people"

So?

Do you make your daughter wear a balaclava in public?

Basic etiquette, you don’t upload someone else’s picture as your own.

I would ask her to remove the picture or at least cover your DDs face

While I agree with Bluemirror that you shared the photo first so have no right to complain, I really don't understand the problem with children being posted (in everyday clothing ofc) on social media, without a name.

People see your child generally when you're out and about, you don't cover them up, so what does it matter if they're on social media without their name identifying them? It's not an opinion particularly, more of a genuine question really.

FWIW, I hardly ever post on fb (mostly because I don't think anyones that interested in my life, I'm certainly not interested in the vast majority of people on my list and only really post for family) but when I have, I've never posted children without their parents express permission, but only because I'm aware it's a sensitive issue and not because I completely understand why.

I just think that as long as they're not named, it's no more invasive than seeing them in the street. I'm happy to hear why I'm wrong though.

Maybe it’s the permanence of it Snork? Once it’s there, it’s there. Strangers can take that picture and do what they want with it, online you are basically giving it away. Useful if you want publicity, not so much if you just wanted to share a pic of your dd and the next thing you know she’s a meme on Reddit!

You shared a picture of nine other children other than your own without permission but she's the only one in the wrong?

She wouldn't of had the picture to share in the first instance if you hadn't shared it so both as bad as each other.

I'd send her a message asking her to take the photo down or at least blur the faces of the other children until she has their parents' permission.

If they were younger children I would think you had a point (and also agree with you that a group text is not the same as social media).

But, as they're Y6, I think YABU. Half the children will have been taking their own photos and putting them on instagram, snapchat anyway. I don't think parents can keep control of photo privacy online after the age of 10 - even if their own children don't have accounts, their children's friends will.

Strangers can take that picture and do what they want with it

I have experience of this and the police had to be involved to stop this pervert - she was fully dressed but he'd altered the 'meaning' of the photo. He did it to lots of girls.

I think sharing amongst parents who are known (trusted) to the children and sharing it with strangers are totally different.
Younwouldnt knock on doors to share photos - or show fandoms in the street or put an add in the paper - but that's what you are doing when you share these photos. You have no idea who's seeing them, or what they are doing with them.

OP sent the picture to other parents privately who, presumably, all know each other (the equivalent of showing people you know a proper hard copy photograph like in the good old days -perfectly normal behaviour 20 years ago). OP is concerned that the picture has now been shared to people that she doesn't know and that the other parents don't know (the equivalent of printing it in the local paper 20 years ago).

Schools don't share pictures publicly without permission in case a child might be put in any danger by knowing where that child is e.g. in.cases of adoption, domestic violence etc. Obviously all the parents in the whatsapp group already knew which other children were at the party. However, now a load of randoms also know which children were at the party.

There is definitely a difference. I think other mum crossed a line.

What's your school's policy for pics?

It's outside school so nothing to do with them or their policy.

OP, you can't give out about a parent sharing a picture that you already shared to ten people.

The point doesthis is that if parents are happy for the school to share their DCs' pics all over open social media pages then they obviously don't have an objection to their DCs' pics being posted on social media.

not necessarily. They may be ok with school doing it but not anyone else.