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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

school toilet policy

68 replies

beclev24 · 09/02/2018 17:12

This is making my DS (aged 7) v anxious so trying to get a read on whether it is genuinely an unreasonable policy or more just him.

In his class, they are only allowed to go to the toilet once per day in lesson time. If they go more than this, they miss 5 mins of break. This feels unfair to me, as they can't help how often they need to go/ they are still young and often can't hold it and it causes unnecessary anxiety for some kids/ it seems like a punishment for something they can't necessarily control. Not to mention the fact that some kids (like my DS but I'm sure many others too) really need htat running around time at break. I'm thinking of complaining to the school but before I do....

AIBU?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 09/02/2018 17:17

Why don't you contact them for clarification before thinking about complaining?

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/02/2018 17:20

In all honesty, unless there are medical issues, it should be possible for a child of 7 and above to be able to last a lesson without needing the toilet.

Usually, a lesson is roughly an hour long so if they can go once per lesson then that is about once an hour they can go - surely, they don't need to go more than that?

The problem is that once one child goes, you tend to get a stream of them going.

I teach secondary and medical issues accepted ours are not allowed to go in lesson time.

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/02/2018 17:21

Sorry just seen it's once per day in lesson time not once per lesson.

Even then, there is usually only two hours max between breaks so they should be able to wait.

buzzybuzzbuzz · 09/02/2018 17:21

I just asked DS who is in year 1 and he said they can go whenever they need/want to.
I know they have toilets outside their classrooms as I've seen them when I'm waiting to get him.

DD is in reception and tries hourly for a wee so I know they have no restrictions.

BadPolicy · 09/02/2018 17:30

If a child goes before school and at both break and lunch time and at the end of the day, that's roughly every two hours, add in one more 'allowed' time, how many kids need to pee more than 5 times in 6 hours? Medical issues aside.

bunbunny · 09/02/2018 17:33

If it's causing him to worry, which in turn is likely to turn to other problems and if he does (even occasionally) need to go more often then maybe talk to his teacher and/or school matron and explain the anxieties, ask if he could have a separate toilet pass that he can use if he really needs to go. Half the battle will be the panic that can set in when you know you can't go to the toilet and the more you think about it, you end up wanting to go when you don't really need to. Whereas if you have a toilet pass so you know you can go later if needs be (whether once or twice) chances are that you won't worry and that won't create the need to go unnecessarily.

When you talk to the teacher/matron at least initially don't go in with a 'complain' head on, go in and say that ds has a problem that you'd like their help finding a solution to, that you're sure they will able to figure something out, for example a toilet pass, or letting him know that they won't be keeping count on him for the next half term to see how it goes or whatever... and then the ball is in their court.

Not sure if your school has a matron or not - the primary schools the dc have been to (good sized town, large junior school) have had them, whereas dsis lives in a village with a smaller school that doesn't. But if they do, they can be very useful allies in helping to sort this out.

Pengggwn · 09/02/2018 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheXXFactor · 09/02/2018 17:46

I don't think it's unreasonable TBH, as long as exceptions are made for kids with medical issues. It will disrupt everyone's education if children are traipsing out to the toilet throughout every lesson. The school isn't saying they can't go - it's just trying to get them to think about whether they really need to go.

TheHungryDonkey · 09/02/2018 17:47

Are you the school toilet troll? Teachers don’t keep a running tally about who goes to the toilet during the day otherwise.

UpstartCrow · 09/02/2018 17:49

I've never understood why schools do this before having set times where they encourage kids to go.

MavisPike · 09/02/2018 17:52

I fail to understand why schools encourage water bottles then limit the times pupils can use the loo
Poor children

Pengggwn · 09/02/2018 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Merryoldgoat · 09/02/2018 17:57

Mavis - I agree 100%

You can’t encourage them to drink throughout the day all day and then complain they need the toilet at inconvenient times.

I was always allowed to go when necessary at school and, as an adult, no one polices when I go.

I’d be very annoyed to find a policy like this in place as my DS progresses through school.

Helendee · 09/02/2018 17:59

Many children, and adults for that matter, have sensitive bladders and need to use the toilet more frequently. Surely it's a basic human right to use the toilet as and when you need.

HannahHut · 09/02/2018 18:04

I remember in highschool I really needed the toilet (I had a water infection) and I asked to go. The teacher said no and I continued to ask. In the end I just left the room and went because I really couldn't wait.

The teacher called my mum at the end of the day because usually I was a good kid (never had a detention or anything). When my mum asked why I couldn't go he said ''Because I said so.'' My mum had words with him and told him that was ridiculous and did he have an actual reason? But he didn't.

I am 100% sure that for some teachers they like the power of being in charge of you and controlling everything, including when you pee.

InToMyHeart · 09/02/2018 18:16

I'm all for encouraging children to go to the toilet at convenient times, that's a good life lesson for travelling etc but stopping anyone going to the toilet when they need to is just cruel!

Original poster
beclev24 · 09/02/2018 18:19

thanks all.
to pp who said teachers don't monitor who goes- they have a chart on the wall w all the names and they have to put a clothes peg on their name when they go.

i don't get the thing about medical issues. Obv some are long standing things that you can get special permission for, but many toilet related medical issues (sudden bout of diarrhoea/ urinary infection etc)happen in the moment?

I know the feeling of not being allowed to go to teh toilet-it makes me anxious too, and invariably makes me suddenly desperately need to go!

OP posts:
Bluedoglead · 09/02/2018 18:20

Oh. You again. Le sigh.

Original poster
beclev24 · 09/02/2018 18:22

ha! i literally just got an email from the class teacher asking the parents to donate spare clothes forthe classroom as they had been having a problem with children having accidents.

No connection seems to have been made!

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 09/02/2018 18:23

I don't get the school toilet troll.

Mishappening · 09/02/2018 18:26

As someone with lifelong IBS I would have been in a right pickle with this rule. I think it is just plain wrong. I can understand the children being encouraged not to go during lessons; but to punish a child for a bodily function is OTT.

dissapointedafternoon · 09/02/2018 18:28

It's really mean.
It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't have medical issues. If he needs to go then they need to let him. Outrageous.

Bluedoglead · 09/02/2018 18:30

This reply has been deleted

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dissapointedafternoon · 09/02/2018 18:30

What's the toilet troll Hmm

Haffiana · 09/02/2018 18:31

I think it is really exciting to think about children going to the toilet. Don't you agree, OP?