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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not take my neighbours parcel over?

95 replies

LunarGirl · 09/02/2018 06:29

Fairly new neighbour, been here a few months now. I'd say at least once a fortnight since she moved in (sometimes more!) I've taken in parcels for her. I'm home most of the day so it's not an issue. She has never once collected and I have always ended up taking them to her. Whenever I've given them to her she's seemed surprised so I just presumed cards haven't been left.

On Monday the postman knocked with a parcel for me as I was leaving to take the kids to school, he asked if I could take in ndn parcel as well as she's not there. Not a problem. He asked if he should leave a card or would I be seeing her. I asked him to leave the card. I saw him fill out the card and put it in her letterbox. Yet I still have the parcel.

I feel really petty as I could just take it around but she's quite ninja like and I never see her come or go so it's always a guess as to whether she's home or not. It's annoying popping round and then having to lug the parcel back home if she's not there.

Aibu to think she's taking the piss a bit and if she wants her parcel she should come and get it?

OP posts:

notsodimwit · 09/02/2018 06:32

Shes taking the lend, keep it until she collects it!

Els1e · 09/02/2018 06:36

You are not unreasonable. I agree with dim, keep the parcel until she comes over for it.

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2018 06:37

Or go over without the parcel and if she's in ask her to come and get it

Redglitter · 09/02/2018 06:38

She knows where it is let her come for it

Iloveacurry · 09/02/2018 06:41

Let her come to get it. And don’t take any more parcels for her.

heebiejeebie · 09/02/2018 06:46

Ffs, bunch of miserable nasty neighbours. A bit of kindness and giving people the benefit of the doubt might cheer you up. Doing someone a favour doesn't have to make you a mug or a doormat.

Original poster

LunarGirl · 09/02/2018 06:51

If i hadn't seen the postman leave the card I wouldn't have thought anything about taking it over. As I've said, I just presumed cards hadn't been left previously so she had no idea where it was. But because I know she knows this time it's annoyed me, perhaps irrationally but there you go!

I'm usually a very nice neighbour. Honestly.

OP posts:

Housewife2010 · 09/02/2018 06:54

If I take a parcel in for a neighbour I always ask the delivery person to put a card through their door. If you know that cards have been left and they're not collecting their parcels, don't accept their parcels. I never used to accept parcels for the loud, obnoxious students who used to live next door to us. Some delivery people weren't very happy, but I wasn't going to help out neighbours who were rude to us.

Slartybartfast · 09/02/2018 06:58

Do what you like op.
you are going there once a fortnight - it is a bit much
i dont blame you for being disgruntled about it.
just wait for her to come to you.

Fromage · 09/02/2018 07:01

You are not her parcel depot and delivery service. When she collects it, smile and say "it would be great if you could just come and collect the parcels when you get in and see the card the postie/courier has left - thanks so much, bye!"

Then if it continues - because stuff like this is annoying, it makes you feel a bit taken for granted - stop accepting deliveries for her.

Buxbaum · 09/02/2018 07:01

I would take it over this time and explicitly ask her to come and collect anything in the future. She might think that she is being considerate by not intruding on you.

BeyondThePage · 09/02/2018 07:01

I have a bad back so always go over empty handed, tell them there is a parcel to pick up and can they come and get it please as I haven't the space to store it.

swimster01 · 09/02/2018 07:13

My neighbours were like this - although it started to get out of hand. Their teen started shopping off Amazon as if it was going out of fashion and put down our house number if not in. Several parcels a day every day and often not collected.

I would start as you mean to go on ...

MsSquiz · 09/02/2018 07:14

If it's an inconvenience, just stop accepting the parcels...
you don't have to accept parcels for neighbours

BedtimeTea · 09/02/2018 07:15

I'd let her come get it, you did enough.

SwarmOfCats · 09/02/2018 07:17

My neighbours used to do this - loads of parcels delivered to me, but I always had to drop them round. Eventually I got a cob on and stubbornly dug my heels in. Their package sat in my hall for over two weeks before they turned up.

They collect more promptly now.

SoupDragon · 09/02/2018 07:19

I’d go over and post a card of my own asking her to come and get it.

To be fair, I have found cards slid under something in my hallway before, ages after I found the parcel in my “safe place”. Thankfully it’s not happened on the rare occasion a parcel has gone to a neighbour.

talulahbeige · 09/02/2018 07:20

I don’t take parcels in for people that I don’t know, saves hassle and people taking the mickey!

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 09/02/2018 07:21

I would stop accepting them, you're not a sorting office! I work from home and in our old place people in our street started to twig I was always around so suddenly I was being asked to take in all sorts - including a massive rug that took up my hallway! After that I said no to all parcels except for my NDN, who always came round to collect the second she got home.

feral · 09/02/2018 07:22

I always go and collect mine if I've had a card - or often these days a text or email saying parcel left at ndn - but sometimes they pip me to it and bring it over.

Similarly I will take parcel to neighbour if I see them come home.

Rude to never collect your own. However you have set a precedent with you ndn so maybe take it this time and make clear you expect it collected next time?

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 09/02/2018 07:25

YANBU. I live in a block of flats and regularly get parcels for my neighbours (always the same flat). They work so it sometimes takes them some time but they always come and take it.

I am pretty certain that cards/email are left with her as otherwise the delivery company would be liable as the items could not be traced.

PETRONELLAS · 09/02/2018 07:27

I’ve got my neighbour’s number so text when I have a parcel for them.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/02/2018 07:27

There are mumsnetters who think it’s rude to go and ask for your parcel. Maybe she’s one of them. Ask her to collect them straight away in future and if she won’t then stop.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/02/2018 07:30

I'd just put the parcel in a cupboard out of the way and forget about it, if you want to take anymore parcels for her put them also in the cupboard. She will soon cotton on she's taking the piss.

fromtheshires · 09/02/2018 07:38

YANBU.

It's the neighbourly thing to do to take in parcels for your neighbour, however if they aren't arsed about collecting the items right away why should you be arsed at accepting them.

There may be legitimate reasons for this such as they don't get in until 11pm at night and don't want to disturb you, but stick to your guns.

If the parcels are from amazon tell them to start using amazon lockers as they then get delivered to a supermarket / petrol station and held for three days before being returned.

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