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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take my neighbours parcel over?

95 replies

LunarGirl · 09/02/2018 06:29

Fairly new neighbour, been here a few months now. I'd say at least once a fortnight since she moved in (sometimes more!) I've taken in parcels for her. I'm home most of the day so it's not an issue. She has never once collected and I have always ended up taking them to her. Whenever I've given them to her she's seemed surprised so I just presumed cards haven't been left.

On Monday the postman knocked with a parcel for me as I was leaving to take the kids to school, he asked if I could take in ndn parcel as well as she's not there. Not a problem. He asked if he should leave a card or would I be seeing her. I asked him to leave the card. I saw him fill out the card and put it in her letterbox. Yet I still have the parcel.

I feel really petty as I could just take it around but she's quite ninja like and I never see her come or go so it's always a guess as to whether she's home or not. It's annoying popping round and then having to lug the parcel back home if she's not there.

Aibu to think she's taking the piss a bit and if she wants her parcel she should come and get it?

OP posts:
Butchmanda · 01/03/2018 15:32

Maybe she just doesnt want to disturb you. Or doesn't know if you're in! Not sure what the correct etiquette is? Although I'd always go and collect, bearing In mind time of day etc. Not worth refusing and alienating your NDN though?

Lashalicious · 01/03/2018 15:33

The problem is that she expects you to do this all the time AND makes you bring the parcels to her. You're not her servant. Neither thing is ok. Do not take over any more pkgs. Let her come pick up this last one, no matter how long it takes do not take it over, and don't take any more in. Let them sit at her door. It is rude for her to expect you to constantly do this. She needs to have the pkgs sent to her work or a family member etc if she is going to be ordering stuff every week. Let her figure out her own delivery "pick up" service.

Alternatively, ask her to take in a pkg you're expecting "sometime" next week, since you may be out. When she says of course I can't, I'm working, you say, I am too, I won't be able to take in yours. This 2nd option will be more efficient and she will get the message.

APontypandyPioneer · 01/03/2018 15:43

Seems to me that as you've taken parcels a few times they might think that you will do it each time. If the card has been dropped through their letter box leave it and let them come to you to collect it. From then on if you're passing drop it off but don't go out of your way. That way you're being kind and neighbourly but not being taken for granted.

Flightywoman · 01/03/2018 16:06

I've just been steam-rollered into taking a parcel for a neighbour - I said we didn't know here or see her and apparently her instructions say "leave with a neighbour". [rolls eyes]

She's hardly ever there, I've seen her fewer than 5 times in the three years she's lived there. The last time we had a parcel for her she left it for two weeks.

This could run and run...

Idontdowindows · 01/03/2018 17:15

I'll take parcels for anyone, but I don't deliver them to their door and vice versa, unless I know they're away for a bit, then I pop 'em in the back door.

2rebecca · 01/03/2018 17:24

How bizarre. I usually go and collect mine, having said that I usually often also pop round and deliver them if I have a parcel but it's usually just next door and we get on and they have young kids so I feel it's more of a hassle for them to come round as we both work and are often out on an evening. If a neighbour was a pain about parcels i wouldn't take them for them.

bigbluebus · 01/03/2018 17:32

I take in parcels for NDN's on both sides. I always tell the courier to put a card through their door and they always do. The neighbours always come and collect their parcels from me. The only time I deliver to them is if I've gone out after I've taken the parcel in and when I get home the neighbour is already home.

If you know for a fact that the Postman put a card through your neighbour's door OP then she is clearly lying and I would refuse all future parcels for her. She/the couriers can find some other mug to run around after her.

Flightywoman · 06/03/2018 12:39

My neighbour's parcel is still in the hall.

I refused to accept other ones yesterday, there were 2 or 3 substantial parcels, and I said no. The courier was ok about it and I don't feel guilty! She's never there, I've seen her twice in 2 or 3 years...

Obi1Kenobi · 06/03/2018 14:11

I would stop taking in parcels for her, your house is not a depot. Next time you see her smile and say nothing. Take parcel to Post office and return to sender. If you take someone else’s parcel you are legally responsible for it. It’s a polite thing to do for neighbours but your neighbour is a PITA.

BattleaxeGalactica · 06/03/2018 14:46

Leave it until she collects this time, tell her you won't be able to take in for her in future then point her in the direction of the click and collect button.

Flightywoman · 06/03/2018 15:11

I don't think we're going to do it again! Even the ever-patient husband is a bit pissed off.

Aprilmightmemynewname · 06/03/2018 15:14

Next time take it in and leave a card in YOUR window
Parcels available for collection :
week days between 7-8am only.
Weekends 7-8 pm.

MsHarry · 06/03/2018 15:24

I have a new neighbour who keeps getting stuff delivered and she's never in! she doesn't get in until late and then I feel like we can'r get settled because she'll come while we are eating or just sat down to watch something and she chats a bit. she's really lovely but if I'm not going to be home I arrange for stuff to be delivered when I am or to amy or my D's work address. I've decided not to answer the door to deliveries unless I know it's for us!

MsHarry · 06/03/2018 15:26

Sticky keys, so many typos!

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 06/03/2018 15:35

Have you asked your neighbour for her number? You could text her when you get a parcel for her.

I take in parcels for anyone in the street if I'm in. Sometimes the little cards get caught up in the rest of the post and idiot offspring/husbands put them in the bin. If it hasn't been collected within 48 hours I go round.

Jaxhog · 06/03/2018 15:45

The only time I deliver parcels, is if I'm about to on hols. Otherwise it's up to them to collect.

MichaelBendfaster · 06/03/2018 15:47

I take in parcels all the time and find it depressing when people on here take pride in not doing it; I think it's a nice, small neighbourly thing to do.

BUT, as far as I'm concerned, the form is that you go to collect. And in your case, she's actually lying about having received a card. Confused She's having a laugh.

You could take in the next one, ask the postie to leave a card and make sure you see them doing so, then leave it a couple of days, take it over and say 'I know for a fact the postie left you a card for this, so I don't know why you didn't come to collect. I don't have time to keep coming over, so I can't take stuff in for you any more.'

Lethaldrizzle · 06/03/2018 15:49

Why are you taking her parcels to her? Just stop doing it!

keepKalm · 06/03/2018 15:50

I think you dealt with this in a really silly way. Firstly if you don’t want to take in parcels for her then don’t! It’s daft to accept them and then complain that you have accepted them 🤷🏻‍♀️ Secondly, it sounds like you have had plenty of opportunity to tell her that you would prefer it if she collects any parcels from you rather than you bringing them over. How hard would that have been to do. You could swap numbers and send her a text when you have a parcel. She can’t read your mind and might think you are ok taking her parcels in.

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2018 16:03

If she said she didn't get a card, then the chances are she's accidentally grabbed it and binned it with some leaflets/junk mail.

Presumably your DH will have asked her to collect her parcels in future, which is what you should have done really.

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