Someone keep me sane? *potential trigger warning* baby in hospital

[NomsQualityStreets]

In hospital with DS2 (8weeks old) due to high temp yesterday. It went up to 39C at one point!

We've been here yesterday, barely survived the first night and I'm stuck for at least 2 more nights until all the results are back and they know what to do.

They're 99% sure it's not meningitis but want to wait until the cultures develop fully and are waiting for a few more tests to come back.
In the meantime DS is being poked and prodded and regularly put on an antibiotic drip, his feeds are being interrupted if he needs another dose or another check up, his cannula had started leaking into his hand so they had to take it out and we are currently waiting for another one being put in

He's irritable and won't be put down at all so I get precisely 0 rest.

I just want to take him home he's not been himself at all he's gone from a smiley gurgling baby to a sad, sleepy, crying one and my hearts breaking.

DP has the most important meeting of the year (his job depends on it) on the other side of the country so as of tonight I'm completely alone for the next 2 nights.

I’m so sorry OP. I’ve been there with DS and it is hell on earth. The canulas/ blood tests/ insertions were the worst bit, you feel like dying when they are hurting your baby. I understand ☹️ It’s the hardest thing. And doing it alone is so hard, when you are tired and worried and machines are beeping, and you can’t lean on someone to look after DS so you can sleep for 20 minutes. It’s torture.

Hopefully they will give you the all clear very soon. 99% certain on meningitis is great news, you should feel great about that. Are they talking about lumbar puncture or further tests? If not, that’s even better.

Once you are out of hospital everything will get better quickly- settling back into the routine at home, and enjoying your tiny baby. 🙂

DS didn’t smile until 14 weeks (he was a preemie) so consider yourself lucky!

Good luck and keep strong. Xxx

so sorry to read this, you will get through it. Not meningitis is really good news. Sorry, probably really stupid questions, but can anyone help out? Even a nurse (I know they are all mega busy but ...) to cuddle him for 10 minutes whilst you get a shower/pee?

Could you say what area you are in and see if any of us could bring you anything?

Are there any friends or family who could come to the hospital and give you a break for a while? Or if not, ask the nurses if they can give you a short break as PP have suggested.

I've been in the same position and i know how stressful and exhausting it is. Hopefully the antibiotics will do their job and he'll start to feel better and be less irritable soon.

It’s awful seeing your baby sad. But he is in the best place for now. Can anyone help you at all? Or maybe some music on headphones to calm you while he sleeps on you?
This too shall pass. Enjoy the cuddles and the knowledge that you are making him feel Comforted and happier at such a stressful time. Rough though it is on you, an unconscious baby who you can’t touch or hold due to monitors and drops is far far worse.

Soo sorry OP I know how youre feeling and it's absolutely awful I couldn't have done it without my DH so I really feel for your situation. My only advice is to try and stay positive and just remember that this will end and will be easier soon that's all that got me through our hospital stints in DS'S first year!

Wishing your baby a speedy recovery

Children’s wards in hospitals have playworkers who can hold baby so you can grab a coffee or go home to have a quick shower and grab clothes. Just getting out and having a change of scenery for half an hour will do you the world of good. Just ask a nurse, the playworkers will usual be with the older children but would love a cuddle with a baby. When my Youngest was in hospital they all used to fight who was going to hold him so they could sit and have a rest with him.

There should be some student nurses on placement on the ward who would love the chance to sit and cuddle a baby. My DD is a student paed nurse and grabs every opportunity for baby cuddling while she's on ward based placements!

Scrutinise the name badges and hopefully you will find a student desperate for cuddles so you can get something to eat/shower/rest for a while.

(((hug)) you poor things! Thinking of you, it was bloody hard with DS was in hospital when he was 8 YEARS old, let alone weeks.

I was alone (with a spectacularly useless family) i was exhausted after 10 days of very little sleep, sleeping with one eye open every 15 mins as they checked this and that.

If you can use the nurses to sit with him when he's sleeping, and try and get a bit of a walk to move the blood etc, it will help, can you get people to come and visit so you can go to the cafe with them for 5 mins? take your mind off things? Agreed, I didn't feel I could do this until a good week into our stay..

I feel for you, it's hellish.

So sorry OP. I was in hospital (not overnight) when DD2 was 5 weeks also with a high fever, o2 going haywire, etc. It was a really scary time so I sympathize with you.

Oh OP how scary. I am keeping everything crossed that things start improving sharpish!

I hope you manage to get some rest and that your little one is better soon

so sorry OP. I have been there with all 4 of dc. Its hell for sure. But after dc4 i had learned to ask for help from the nurses. I would go grab a hot drink and a snack. If possible a power nap. They have always been happy to help.

Hi OP didn't want to rear and run. DS wad found to have an infection when we were waiting to be discharged sheet he was born. They suspected meningitis and tried five times to do a lumber puncture. Thankfully it turned out not to be but er had to stay in for five days with antibiotics administered on a different floor at 12 noon and 12 midnight. Meaning I didn't get lunch or sleep!
Hang in there and if you need anything ask us.

So sorry to hear this, I was in with my DS two weeks ago who had a UTI. It was horrible, his temp was 40.2 at one point and I was shitting myself. But once the antibiotics kicked in he perked up loads, babies get ill quickly but they also get loads better quickly. You are in the right place, don’t be afraid to ask for help from anyone.

Thank you for all the replies!

DP left about 30mins ago and I won't see him until Thursday

DS is currently having a restless nap on me. He seems a little happier since they've taken the cannula out and he can move that hand comfortably. But he's due to have a new one put in anytime and I'd really rather have it done on me than him...

So far he's had a wee sample, 3 attempts at putting in a cannula which then leaked into his hand, 2 blood samples, an X-ray and a lumbar puncture and I hate seeing him go through this.

I didn't know there were any nurses that could help no one really told me any of this ... I might have to ask someone when I need a minute in the bathroom to make myself feel a bit more human.

This was me, 13 years ago OP with DS 2. 2 weeks old, lumbar puncture, canulas in each hand and foot at one point or other. We spent 2 weeks in hospital whilst various tests were done. Turned out to be "a virus". He's now a strapping almost-teen.

Look after yourself. Is there anyone who can bring you food and fresh clothing etc? Also, because I'd had an emergency c-section I had a room with a proper bed but only because I asked. Probably unlikely nowadays, but worth a try?

Do you mind saying where you are?

He will probably be absolutely fine. They are just ruling everything out. But it is terrifying and exhausting. xx

When my dd was newborn they really struggled with a cannula in her hand, getting it in then repeated leaking and ended up putting it in her foot, went in easier and seemed to be much less upsetting for her when it was in. I've no medical training but if they're continuing struggling with his hand may be worth asking? ( maybe not "some random Oman on mumsnet suggested"!)
Hope he's on the mend quickly, I remember how long each minute felt.

Or some random woman even!

Thank you for suggestions.

I don't know if they'll try his hand again, yesterday they tried once in one hand and the other one twice so not sure what they're planning.

Luckily food is provided as I'm breastfeeding, not that I'm eating much of it as its not great and I don't have much of an appetite.
DP has got me some juice and still lucozade which helps and I've got the water station just outside the door which is good.
I'm stinky and don't really have a change of clothes just a pair of pjs so I'm expecting to have cartoon flies circling over my head as I leave the hospital once we get discharged

I don't want this to be too outing but I'm S.Yorkshire.

IME Children’s wards are very bad at doing any kind of orientation. I suspect it is because a lot of kids in children’s wards are “frequent fliers” so their parents have done it all many many times before and know who does what, where to get food from, when to ask for things etc.

Parents who are in for the first time are just left to get on with it.

The other thing is that children in for the first time are generally not that ill. Because the doctors and nurses see really really poorly children all the time they forget that (in my case) a chest infection that is causing some breathing difficulties but child is still able to breathe well enough to cry is the most terrifying that has ever happened to me. To them it was just a case of “needs antibiotics and she’ll be home by the weekend” as opposed to the little boy in the next bed who was hoping to be home for Xmas (it was late November) but probably wouldn’t be.

Is it possible to ask staff about having a shower? They must have facilities for parents? Or am I being naive about what they can provide? I was on the ante natal ward still when my dd was ill so had full facilities. Is there anyone who can bring you in clothes and toiletries? A friends own clothes if can't get to yours? Just so you feel slightly more human.

Surprised they have done it in the hand.

When my dd was hospitalised at 13 months, the put the cannula in her foot.

Poor thing had bronchilitis and was very poorly. Was there for 4 days with antibiotics and nebulisers and oxygen.

However we was lucky to be able to nip out to the parents room when she had a nap for a cup of tea and a bit of quiet.

Was awful.

I hope your little baby gets better soon and that you get a break.

So sorry Op, been there. Def ask your baby's nurse if anyone can help as you have no clean clothes and no one to bring any / need a shower etc. I used to shower at 2 am whilst it was quiet enough for the nurses to be able to watch him properly.

Student nurses should def be utilised to cuddle babies, and yy to playworkers loving baby cuddles

I was in for two weeks with DS when he was born, and then back in for a couple nights when he was due to have his first lot of vaccinations and they found a non-blanching rash on his arm. I'll never forget them trying to get a cannula into him and trying each hand and foot in turn as DH held him down.

Podcasts kept me sane. Was generally too knackered to read, the podcast I could listen to or just use as friendly background noise while I tried to sleep. Also had my blanket from home - small things can be very comforting.