Someone keep me sane? *potential trigger warning* baby in hospital

[NomsQualityStreets]

In hospital with DS2 (8weeks old) due to high temp yesterday. It went up to 39C at one point!

We've been here yesterday, barely survived the first night and I'm stuck for at least 2 more nights until all the results are back and they know what to do.

They're 99% sure it's not meningitis but want to wait until the cultures develop fully and are waiting for a few more tests to come back.
In the meantime DS is being poked and prodded and regularly put on an antibiotic drip, his feeds are being interrupted if he needs another dose or another check up, his cannula had started leaking into his hand so they had to take it out and we are currently waiting for another one being put in

He's irritable and won't be put down at all so I get precisely 0 rest.

I just want to take him home he's not been himself at all he's gone from a smiley gurgling baby to a sad, sleepy, crying one and my hearts breaking.

DP has the most important meeting of the year (his job depends on it) on the other side of the country so as of tonight I'm completely alone for the next 2 nights.

I've been there many times with my dd who is now nearly 2. I've found the staff always to be very helpful and student nurses who are willing to give cuddles.
I was given the option to leave the room for all procedures(we had to have head canulas a few times and feeding tubes a lot of times) and have a little walk, I felt bad leaving her but equally I was no use to her when I was upset myself.
Hopefully someone can help you out so you can get freshened up and grab a bite to eat and a coffee. Hope he's better soon

You're not alone - there'll be lots of parents in there feeling the same as you. I found any time I went into the children's ward kitchen someone was desperate to strike up a conversation, everyone was struggling.

One of my twins was in nicu for 8 weeks due to a complex illness and growth restriction. When he came home he seemed unwell and over the next year week got much worse til we had to call an ambulance. They sent us home and told us to come back when it got worse. So five days of watching him like a hawk, then back in - they'd sa it was bronchiolitis but it ended up being whooping cough.

We ended up in the high dependency unit for 11 nights,he had a bed but I was in a recliner next to his bed. No sleep, no proper food, just coffee and the odd snack from Costa. My milk supply crashed and never recovered (I was pumping for them). It honestly felt like a hell that would never end, but it did. Eventually we got to go home and it's now a distant horrifying memory (although we have to go back in next week and I'm dreading it!).

Hang in there - is there anyone who could come and be with him for a few hours so you can go and get some rest / proper food? We couldn't as had the other twin at home and thefe was no one else, but you might.

There are shower facilities I just wasn't aware there are (I hope there are in this hospital anyway) people that can keep an eye on DS whilst I have a few mins to clean up.

I've managed to actually put DS down for a nap on his own for the first time in two days and just heard him do a huge poo which made me giggle
He's waking up now and I'm trying to eat my dinner as fast as possible so I can get him.

@TammySwansonTwo that sounds awful glad everything is ok now.

No one that can come in I'm afraid, DP is away until Thursday.

DS has just had some antiseptic cream put on his feet and arms in preparation for another cannula

He hates anyone touching him now and cried the whole time the nurse was applying the cream - it's like he's anticipating pain.

We're day 12 in neonatal OP (baby is 12 days old) so I completely understand how horrible it is.

He needs to get better though and they wouldn't have admitted him if he doesn't need to be there.

Can you express if feeds are being interrupted? Is there anyone who can come and give you a break?

It's not going to be forever.

Wishing your baby well.

Ah, that sucks! I've done a few stints in hospital with children.
Next time you see staff, tell them you pong, and is there someone who'll keep an eye on him while you wash up? How long would it take you to get home and back with some clothes?

Or to the nearest shop? Primark was closer than home, came home with a new wardrobe haha

If you were in the hospital down the road I'd d be there for an hour with shampoo and shower gel, tshirt and trackies but Yorkshire is a bit too far away!

I’ve spent time in hospital with both of mine so totally sympathise and know how hard it must be for you.
When DD was a tiny baby on the Paeds Ward there were HCA’s who would hold or sit with DD just for 15 mins while I had a quick wash and ate etc. I hated leaving her at all and she was understandably very clingy but the nurses reminded me to eat and drink and take of myself too.
Hope your little one is on the mend very soon and you can get back home

Oh gosh poor you. It sounds like a night mare. Hospitals are awful places and your child being sick is just too hard to imagine. Do you have any family members who can come and keep you company? I really wish you well and hope your little one gets better xxx

When you say barely survived the first night do you mean you or the baby ? Is the baby on picu? My dd was in intensive care in July for two weeks and an inpatient for a further 4 weeks . I spent the whole six weeks in hospital . I think adrenaline kept me going but it hit me like a ton of bricks around two weeks after we got home . It suddenly hit me that we very nearly lost our daughter . Thank goodness for our wonderful NHS

We are “frequent fliers” and often help make sure other parents know where things are!

Are you in a private room on in a bay? If your in a bay get talking to other parents if you can as they can often be the best support and if one has someone coming in then they may grab things for you on the way (we have done a group McDonald’s order before now) also handy for people to keep an eye out for baby while you shower or whatever.

Hope you get answers soon

Hand holding, can’t imagine what its like.

Children's wards are the circle of hell and I lost my mind when my son was in for 3 weeks
I managed to scrape a break when he napped and I was allowed to leave him for a walk outside
It will end soon and all will be well, heap of support from me
Earplugs help and having visitors x

Husband is from Cudworth. Aren't that many hospitals in South Yorkshire xx Hope little one picks up soon. We spun on black ice before Xmas and our little lad has huge scar from debris from our (now defunct Avensis). hes 2. he pulled the needle out and broke it after he had been injected with anaesthetic. It's horrible to see them suffer. It's better when it's over. Sending lots of love and get well

Have you got any family or friends wh can bring stuff in? Anyone in your antenatal class?

A fabulous nurse at gosh has me feed dc as they were putting in dcs cannula. The sucking soothes and helps with pain. As your breastfeeding, if your comfortable trying it with medical staff about maybe consider it. My dc didn't even notice the needle going in.

In a local general you may struggle with play specialists, trainees with time to help as in my experience they are more stretched. If your in a hospital that specialises in paediatrics you should find someone.

Are you bedding in with your baby? If yes and otherscare too then maybe try to strike up a friendship you may find someone able to help.

Do you to look after yourself it's important to be fit yourself to look after your dc. I hope your all better and home soon.

Hand holding. I've been there with (then) 7 week old Ds1. Hopefully you will get an answer soon. Likely baby will be treated with broad spectrum anti biotics and anti virals as a precaution until they know what they are dealing with. Mine was cannula'd in his foot in the end. I wasn't allowed to go with him for his first lumbar puncture. And I am grateful for being spared that. I was in bits anyway.

What they did for Ds1 was nestle him on two pillows covered over with a sheet. We couldn't hold him properly as it kept him too warm (temp was 42.5f on admittance. It's a miracle he didn't have convulsions). It was supposed to help him feel like he was being held, which helped keep him a little more settled.

There will be parents showers/toilet facilities around. And a parents room hopefully. Ours had a fridge so I could get a couple of meals in at a time. Then one of the nurses told me I could eat in the staff canteen. The charge was a lot cheaper than ready meal prices and meant I got a little time to get some head space. I know you're not thinking about leaving baby right now but it is important. The staff will look after little one for you if you ask. But as pp says, they do often see the same people time and time again they forget that some parents don't know what facilities are available. Our children's ward last time even had a charger for my phone. The lovely nurse said they so often get parents in who weren't expecting to have to stay and have been on the phone to family a lot, that the staff have provided spare chargers out of their own pocket!

I had my baby on the 9th of January and he was taken away from me straight away and spent 5 days in NICU, so I totally understand how you're feeling and I am so sorry you're going through this.

My advice is please rest when you can. I stayed by his bedside for 3 days but come the 4th I just had to go home and sleep, which I felt terrible guilt for but I honestly think without it I would have broken down. The neonatal nurses will cuddle your baby if he cries and he will be perfectly fine under their care.

He will be fine, he will get better and this will soon be a distant memory. Be kind to yourself. I wish you all the best.

Hi OP - am so sorry you are going through this - it is utterly horrid. DS2 was readmitted for a week when he was 6 weeks old and it was horrific. DH was not allowed to stay overnight so it was just me (he did flout this once when DS2 was really poorly and the lovely nurses did not say anything) what kept me sane was what other PP had suggested:

• student nurses for cuddles with baby so you can grab a shower/food. There has to be parent facilities on or close by the ward
• get a play worker to give you a bit of a break so you can get a nap if at all possible?
• overnight I found the nurses offered to actually feed DS2 for me (expressed bottle fed) so they did not wake me to allow me to get some rest. I don't know if expressing might be An option for you? Generally the wards will have machines available
• if possible get off the ward, even if it's only for half an hour for a change of scenery.

Hugs and for you and I hope your DS is better soon

Some of these stories are awful sorry to everyone who had to go through something similar

I'm in a private room so no one to chat to I'm afraid.

We came in DPs car yesterday so I have no way of getting anywhere and we live about an hours round trip in the car from the hospital and my car is back home.

I've been kept sane today by DP being here from 10 till 4pm but I know I'm on my own all night and again all day and night tomorrow.
I asked a nurse earlier if there's a chance someone could keep an eye on DS whilst I pop for a quick shower maybe tomorrow, she said she wouldn't see an issue when the ward is a bit quieter so I've got that to look forward to I suppose.

DS temp has been at around a steady 37.4 today so I hope that's a good sign.

Just in case it helps: DS had cannula in his hands and his feet (only one at a time). The nurse casually mentioned when trying to find a site for the fifth one that the best place is on the head. I asked her why she didn't do that and she said "Oh people don't like to see them there".
I wadnt one of those people - he had the cannula on his head - bigger vein and baby less likely to knock it.

No it doesn't look nice but is much rather that than have him put through the agony of hands / feet.

My DS has a temp like that a few times, including at birth when they think he had sepsis.

Other than his birth, they never found the cause and he recovered well. Try to stay calm OP, I know how scary it is. X

Also this might not help but when DS was tiny, I used to play classical music when they were cannulating him and it distracted him to the point he didn’t realise what was happening.

Of course that could just be my baby, but worth a try.

It's much much much better to have a private room . You get a parents bed where as on a ward you get a horrible chair and it's so so noisy at night . I hated when dd was on a ward cos you get zero sleep . I loved it when we had private room ( thankfully we did for most of the time )