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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who WBU: baby and train

164 replies

Charmander123 · 22/01/2018 14:32

So I'm on a train with my baby which is about an hour long. There's a woman next to me with a young baby and a toddler. Her little girl really needed the loo so she asked if I could watch the pram. I said yes and luckily the baby didn't cry in that time ;-)
(This train is a little dated so the only toilets are those very tight ones at the far end of the train)
As the mum left, this group of l women behind me started bitching and having a go about how wreck less the mother was leaving the baby there with a stranger. I turn around and say he is in safe hands, and asked how many of them had 2 young kids (turns out none of them had any ).

I didn't mind at all but in this situation;
Do you think the woman were wrong to be so judgemental or wrong for the woman to leave the baby with me?
Xxxxx

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/01/2018 14:35

They were wrong to be judgemental, IMO.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 22/01/2018 14:35

She was in a shit situation really. I would hate having to ask a stranger to watch my dc but in certain situations it's it's by far the better option. That being said, I'm honestly not sure I'd feel comfortable going to the other end of the train without my baby.

Camomila · 22/01/2018 14:36

I think if I were somewhere and I needed to leave my baby for a minute I would also pick a woman with kids of her own to mind him for a second.

Plus you were on a train! How exactly would you kidnap him short of jumping off a moving train.

So basically TWBU

Trinity66 · 22/01/2018 14:37

They should mind their own business, I love how it's always the ones with no kids who seem to be expert parents lol

PinkHeart5914 · 22/01/2018 14:37

She was in an unfortunate situation re the toilets and the toddler but no way would I leave my baby with a stranger! I would of carried baby and asked you if you would be able to watch the Pram while I was gone

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 22/01/2018 14:38

I wouldn't do it mainly because I couldn't trust my wild kids to behave however I don't see the problem with it. I think people need to be kinder to each other and judge others less.

Sandsnake · 22/01/2018 14:38

You were kind to watch the baby. I don’t think that she was reckless, although I suppose it’s not perfect there has to be compromises when you have two young children. And the other passengers were very unkind for talkingabout her like that.

BrickInTheWall · 22/01/2018 14:39

I think they were wrong to be judgemental but in all honesty there is no way I would leave my baby with a stranger.
If I was with a baby and a toddler on a train I think I would sit very close to the toilet. I still sit in the same carriage as the toilet with my 3.5year old because he can't hold on for long. If that was impossible I would have just carried baby

Peachyking000 · 22/01/2018 14:39

They were rude, and unreasonable. In the past I have only been grateful for others helping me out like this, eg taking DS on holiday as a baby and a man kindly holding him so that I could eat my meal on the plane

EggsonHeads · 22/01/2018 14:39

They were being unreasonable-whatcwere you going to do? Jump out of the moving train to kidnap the baby because you don't already have enough to deal with?

etap · 22/01/2018 14:39

They should mind their own effing business!

LovelyBranches · 22/01/2018 14:41

I don’t know. In her situation I would have taken my baby and my DS. I don’t think I would have considered leaving my baby. That said I also wouldn’t mind a bit of someone else left their baby with me. It’s about personal comfort and boundaries.

ShastaTrinity · 22/01/2018 14:42

Rude to comment, and their presence was making it safer too.

That said, I would never leave my baby with a stranger unless I am on the verge of passing out. I wouldn't leave my baby out of my sight even on a train. Asking someone to hold him is a bit weird, but just about bearable.

IcingSausage · 22/01/2018 14:42

The other women were BU for bitching about a mother in a tricky situation and I think it’s nice you stuck up for her.

I wouldn’t judge the mother for leaving her baby with you if she felt that was the better option but it isn’t something I would’ve done myself.

ShastaTrinity · 22/01/2018 14:45

to add: you can't hold a baby, and help out a toddler on a toilet at the same time! I used to put a potette on the bathrooms floor for toddler (in plane or airports) and carry baby.

Maisy313 · 22/01/2018 14:46

The women behind you WBU! Was the baby asleep? I can very much see her not wanting to wake the baby up on a long journey, might all have been planned around naps. Also if everyone overheard her asking you to mind the baby it's unlikely they would have watched you kidnap the infant in some kind of James Bond style train jumping!

Pengggwn · 22/01/2018 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyLollipop · 22/01/2018 14:47

They were wrong to slag her off like that and we'll done OP for sticking up for her, they don't know how long shes had to wait or if shes had incontinence issues since the birth what did they want her to do piss herself, she must have been absolutely desperate to use the toilet to have to leave her baby with a stranger in the first place. I've had to look after someone's baby in the bathroom as they're wasn't enough space in the stall for her pram so I offered to watch the baby outside the stall for her, she was very grateful but us mums have to look out for each other!

Invisimamma · 22/01/2018 14:47

I once asked a nearby Grandma at softplay to hold my newborn baby ds while I wrestled reluctant my 3yr old to put his shoes and coat on. DH was horrified when I told him, but really what was she going to do, run off with him and leave her own dgc in the play area!?

I think the woman probably weighed up the risks and time between stops and realised this was the best option.

I also once offered to hold a woman’s baby whilst she sorted stuff out her locker after swimming, she looked absolutely horrified 😂. I had my own 2 dc with me and was just trying to be kind as she was clearly struggling to juggle everything and the baby whilst wet!

DearMrDilkington · 22/01/2018 14:49

I'd have done the same as the woman. I'm not sure why people are saying they wouldn't... You were on a moving train, you had your own baby with you, I fail to see what harm the baby could have come to.

DearMrDilkington · 22/01/2018 14:51

Baby is much more likely to be harmed by a family member than a stranger...

Eltonjohnssyrup · 22/01/2018 14:51

They WBU and you did a lovely kind thing.

Gladiola44 · 22/01/2018 14:52

I would never leave my baby with a stranger. I have had someone on the train ask me to hold their baby while they went to the loo... I pretended to be asleep. So they asked my husband.

Lizzie48 · 22/01/2018 14:52

There's no way of easily handling such a situation. I can just imagine the comments if the mum had whipped out a potty for the toddler to use.

If it was me I'd have put the toddler in a pull up and said to wee into it if she couldn't hold on. It's what you would do if you were between services on the motorway after all. No, I wouldn't have left my DD2 with a stranger, she'd have screamed the carriage down if I'd tried.

It was very kind of you, though, OP. Those other ladies were being extremely judgmental,

GreenBook · 22/01/2018 14:54

I would ask another mum to keep an eye on a sleeping baby while I took my toddler to the loo. On a moving train, it's not like she could take the baby anywhere, or do anything without other people seeing.

Basically, I trust most people (especially another mum) to be kind and sensible.

I certainly ask random people on trains to keep an eye on my luggage while I nip to the loo - it triggers the 'it is my business' part of their brain, rather than 'none of my business' bit. So in that situation it's sensible, as you've basically given someone permission to look after the baby if they cry, rather than just leave them to scream. And I would prefer my baby get a cuddle from a stranger than cry uncomfortable.