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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who WBU: baby and train

164 replies

Charmander123 · 22/01/2018 14:32

So I'm on a train with my baby which is about an hour long. There's a woman next to me with a young baby and a toddler. Her little girl really needed the loo so she asked if I could watch the pram. I said yes and luckily the baby didn't cry in that time ;-)
(This train is a little dated so the only toilets are those very tight ones at the far end of the train)
As the mum left, this group of l women behind me started bitching and having a go about how wreck less the mother was leaving the baby there with a stranger. I turn around and say he is in safe hands, and asked how many of them had 2 young kids (turns out none of them had any ).

I didn't mind at all but in this situation;
Do you think the woman were wrong to be so judgemental or wrong for the woman to leave the baby with me?
Xxxxx

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 22/01/2018 21:19

Jesus, that link Shock. Some random approaches you in McDonalds and hands your baby a bottle, and you let him drink it?? Confused
That poor little sod was surrounded by loons.

Tryingthisonefornow · 22/01/2018 21:29

The other woman were just being stupid really!

Many years ago i was on a very packed train and a woman was breast feeding her infant (sitting on a shelf!) when her toddler declared she needed the toilet. She looked around desperately then asked me ..... not to hold baby but take her dd to the toilet! Shock

I took her —only just made it back for my stop— and she needed a poo and asked me to wipe! This was all before I’d even had my own dc.

Imagine what those women would have made of that! Hmm

PeaceLoveAndDixie · 22/01/2018 21:41

A man with a baby, sure.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 22:06

what yes I would if that men had Kids with him. I don’t see most men as paedophiles as I have given both to 3 very decent men. Wink

I had 5 kids the last 2 twins and I helped strangers and strangers helped me.

To be honest I find baby sitting circles used by people as more risky. A baby in a pram being watched by a whole coach load of commuters not so much.

I googled the taken baby too? Nothing there.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 22:12

trying that made me laugh. The pre mum poo wipeWink

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 22:15

Jaygee61 it isn't that childless people are more dangerous but is IS harder to run off with two pushchairs. Same for a Dad. My hubby takes Toddler out alone. He isn't going to molest, murder or kidnap a kid he supervises for 5 minutes whilst the mom pee's

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 22:17

Was it this one? 35 years ago

Mishappening · 22/01/2018 22:17

An interesting thread - I am grandparent age and no-one would have batted an eyelid about someone doing this when my children were young. How much more dangerous/suspicious are the times we are living in now. We used to leave our babes outside shops in their prams without a second thought.

Oooocrikeyitscold · 22/01/2018 22:20

I would have done the same. Where were you going to go!

ShastaTrinity · 22/01/2018 22:24

I wouldn't leave my phone or my handbag with a stranger, I don't even leave my suitcase outside my door in an airport toilet airside, on what planet would I leave a baby with a complete stranger?

it's not just about kidnapping or feeding bleach (sad true stories), it's because it's nuts. If a nanny was doing that, she would be sacked on the spot and rightly so. I keep an eye on MY kids because they are my responsibility and I chose to do so.

On another note, in these times of terrorist risk, I wouldn't be comfortable looking after a stranger's belongings, whatever they may be, whilst they disappear.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 22:25

I am a grandparent aged 50 and no I don’t remember anyone leaving kids outside the shops in the 80s/90s wen mine were little because most shops were accessible but my mum
certainly did in the 60s.

However I wouldnt bat an eyelid at holding a strangers baby in this circumstance. I have. And people have helped me too.

RedHelenB · 22/01/2018 22:27

YANBU and it wouldn't be seen as odd where I live. Where exactly is she going to take the baby on a moving train? As others have said it's horrible to live your life paranoid, crippling even.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 22:28

shasta

Mmmm why would you need a stranger to look after your handbag?

Can you really not see asking a mum with a child on a packed train asking her to watch your baby in a pram while you took toddler to the loo?

Really seriously you can’t see a case by case basis here?

proudmum4 · 22/01/2018 22:30

Personally I'd of asked you to watch my pram and I would of taken both baby and toddler but I'm a worrier and although you most probably look and our trust worthy, the world makes me this worry wart !!!!

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 22:31

You say nanny would be sacked? You have a point there however as a Cm I would never ever do this or as a gran. Not because I don’t trust my judgment because the children are not mine and so that’s different

Turquoisetamborine · 22/01/2018 22:32

This reminds me of when me and my Mam were in a soft play place with my kids and a harrassed woman with three under five asked my Mam to hold her newborn while she went to the toilet then hadn’t come back ten minutes later! My Mam then tried to give the baby to one of her friends who she’d been sitting with and they didn’t recognise the baby and thought my mam was taking the piss trying to get them to look after her baby!

ShastaTrinity · 22/01/2018 22:41

eartoffire I am not judging a woman who asks for help, I just would never do such a thing myself. I even took my babies with me in hospital toilets instead of leaving them on the ward.

I would also be very very uncomfortable if someone leaves even a pram and disappear at the other side of the carriage or further. I'd rather grab my own kids and walk away until the owner comes back (granted probably stupid as I don't walk far enough to be safe if the worst happens!)

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 22:46

*ShastaTrinity if you can't trust children nurses to not harm your child, how do you ever leave your house? My son was attached to the wall on o2 and TPN for 18 hours a day - what do you do? at some point you just have to assume not everyone is out to hurt you

ShastaTrinity · 22/01/2018 22:49

It's not the nurses I don't trust!

becotide · 22/01/2018 22:56

Shastatrinity, what did you think was going to happen? Do y7ou at least recognise that your feelings on that weren't rational?

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2018 23:12

I suppose its just fortunate they were well enough to take with you. But assuming that the parents of sick kids are waiting to harm your child is paranoia in the extreme.

ConcreteUnderpants · 22/01/2018 23:36

Of course they were being unreasonable. And it was lovely of you to defend her, OP.

I've been a giver and a holder of children. Sometimes it is necessary, and as most people are kind and using your common sense and judgement, all has been ok.

Women I've helped out have been enormously grateful, as have I when we've needed to be an octopus/in 2 places simultaneously.

Heartoffire · 22/01/2018 23:45

The last baby to be snatched from a maternity hospitals was baby Alex in 1990? I remember as I had a baby and was pregnant again . It’s incredibly rare and things are very different now.

NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 22/01/2018 23:54

I think it was unfair of them to judge but I personally wouldn't have left my baby with a stranger - I'd have carried her/him.

I remember when I was about 5 or 6 (many years ago!), the trains didn't have toilets on and my mum got off at a station to go to the loo, leaving me on the train under the supervision of a random woman. I was absolutely terrified because I thought the train was going to leave without my mum!