Who WBU: baby and train

[Charmander123]

So I'm on a train with my baby which is about an hour long. There's a woman next to me with a young baby and a toddler. Her little girl really needed the loo so she asked if I could watch the pram. I said yes and luckily the baby didn't cry in that time ;-)
(This train is a little dated so the only toilets are those very tight ones at the far end of the train)
As the mum left, this group of l women behind me started bitching and having a go about how wreck less the mother was leaving the baby there with a stranger. I turn around and say he is in safe hands, and asked how many of them had 2 young kids (turns out none of them had any ).

I didn't mind at all but in this situation;
Do you think the woman were wrong to be so judgemental or wrong for the woman to leave the baby with me?
Xxxxx

If that had been me with my 2 dd at that age I’d have asked he stranger with the baby too. Had I woken dd2 in order to take toddler dd1 to the toilet she’d almost certainly have screamed blue murder for the entirety of the rest of the journey. The women would really have had something to complain about then! It’s not always possible to get space where you’d ideally like it on public transport, especially when travelling with a buggy and I see little risk to my sleeping baby from a kind mum, also with a baby on a moving train!

I've had a stranger watch my children and my luggage. Waiting for a flight with dcs ages 18 months, 3 and 4. Plus 2 suitcases. Dc2 needed the toilet. Dc3 was asleep in buggy. A lovely lady and her elderly mother who we had been chatting with watched my luggage and other dc whilst I took dc2 to the toilet. I was very grateful and came back to her reading a story to dc1.

I weighed up the risks of them being a potential child abducter, which looked very unlikely and the bother of taking a sleeping tot in a buggy, 2 suitcases and my other 2 into the toilet.

Wow. Can't believe the lack of trust in another mum keeping an eye on a baby - in a pram - for two minutes on a moving train!
I had 3 under 5 at one point and would have thought nothing of asking/offering. I'm not naive. I just don't think that's a big deal.
I was about 14 and smiling at a baby in a shop once when his mum asked me if I wanted to hold him while she tried on some clothes. I still remember the lovely feeling of being trusted, and how carefully I held him! His mum had spoken to mine first to check it was ok btw.

Weirdly enough, last time we were in Paris, a woman was in that high class establishment Tati (aptly names), and the woman in the queue in front of us realised she’d forgotten something and asked if we’d look after her 6 year old. We said yes, and the little girl just grabbed hold of my partner’s hand and stood there! The woman returned after a couple of minutes and she wandered back to her mum. No eyelids battered.

I had a a 3 year old son and newborn twins. It was a nightmare and I look back and think it is a miracle that I did not lose one of them. I had to rely on complete strangers to help. I met some amazing people. those women had no idea what they were talking about.

When the mum got back you should have told her that the vigilante group thought she was placing her child in danger by leaving her with you. "Would you like to tell them to mind their own fucking business or should I do it?"

I have taught my children that if they ever get lost or separated from me they should approach a mum with children and ask for help. A police officer first (chance would be a fine thing) or another mum.

Why would anyone automatically assume that another parent with a small baby is likely to do harm to someone else's child?

They were definitely BU.

The bitchy women were being unreasonable. However, I don't like being asked to take on such responsibility. What if the mother comes back from 3 minutes in the loo and the baby is screaming blue murder? Or gets stung by a wasp or drops his dummy, or scratches himself on the face or throws up? Or the train slams on the brakes and the pram topples, etc. I would no doubt agree to do it but would be terrified of any or all such scenarios where the parents would likely (covertly) blame me if they return to find a distressed baby. It is a lot of responsibility to ask someone to take on, obviously 99% of the time it's fine but plenty of things can happen quickly through no-one's fault that change a contented sleeping baby into a screaming or even injured one.

Like another poster, I remember at a very young age being left alone with a stranger in a similar scenario and it terrified me (obviously pre-school rather than baby though).

I could not leave my baby with a stranger.

I watched a young girl in line for a ride at a park while her mother escorted baby brother to the bathroom. I was with dh and dc. We were in a friendly and particularly neighborly place. I have also received nasty scowl for simply smiling at a child in line at the market.

I realize that the world is dangerous but we need to be more kind to one another; smiles are not threatening or prelude to baby harming.

Literally astonished at all the horror about this, genuinely - what do people think could happen?
This is why modern day parenting is so hard!

Any of those scenarios Sycamore and I'd cope just like you would with your own baby

@RedHelenB yes of course you'd cope like with your own baby until the parent returns from the loo and screams at you or accuses you of harming their baby. That's my point. The responsibility you are asking someone to take on is huge and would make me deeply uncomfortable. Most of the time, of course it will be fine, but one time it might not. And then what.

They've gone to the loo. I really can't understand the problem. We re talking 10 minster mac.