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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby scratched at nursery - AIBU...?

87 replies

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 09:54

I’ve recently gone back to work after 5 months maternity leave. In the very fortunate position that my daughter only had to go to nursery for one day. Choosing a nursery was tricky for this reason as most have a minimum of two days however I found a good one by recommendation but something isn’t sitting right with me...

When I took her for her visits she was the youngest baby by about 4/5 Months. They brought a playmat in for her and the older babies wouldn’t leave her alone. It concerned me a bit because the ‘baby’ room is from 0-2 years. I thought that was a bit strange because when my son was at nursery they moved to another room when they could walk.

On Friday my husband picked my daughter up and she had a large scratch near her eye from one of the toddlers. I may be overreacting but WIBU to contact the nursery and ask them to make the baby room more ‘baby friendly’ to keep the very young babies safe from inquisitive toddlers (eg playpen or room divider?)

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 21/01/2018 09:59

Yes Yabu.

ZoopDragon · 21/01/2018 10:00

I can see why you're upset, but I think it's fairly normal to get scratches at nursery. Staff won't be able to hold her all the time, and her keyworker might have two of the older toddlers in her care as well so wouldn't be able to stay in a sectioned off area. Perhaps ask if they could set up a playpen, though she might prefer being around the other children. Are you sure the scratch was another child, not from her scratching herself? Mine used to scratch her face if her nails needed a trim.

whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 21/01/2018 10:01

YABU how do you know one of the other children scratched her? Obviously wasn't intentional, these things happen

Allthewaves · 21/01/2018 10:03

I'd be unhappy. The two daycares i have used over the years have 0-1 room and early walkers are moved out into a tots room.

hidinginthenightgarden · 21/01/2018 10:03

YABU.
Not many people go back so early these days, so the room is likely to be set up for age 8/9 moths up. It is your choice to do so just like it was your choice to put DD in a setting where the baby room would mean she was with kids a lot older than her. She is not the only baby they are taking care of , I am sure they are doing their best.

Allthewaves · 21/01/2018 10:03

Second day care i used did have a room divider for early walkers/active crawlers

QueenNefertitty · 21/01/2018 10:04

0-2 or 18months is fairly standard.

My 18 month old is in with some 5/6 month olds, and I've been told that he can be q.... robust... with them, so we've been having
lots of chats about "gentle hands, kind hands" - but then when he moves into the 2-3 room, I'm expecting he'll be on the receiving end of some fairly "robust" behaviour from the older ones himself.

It's part and parcel of using nursery settings I'm afraid- you can't keep kids just with other kids at the same development stage - it's impossible. And for every knock and scratch, your baby will be having many many more positive interactions - whether it's her passively watching and learning what the older ones are doing, or those (rarer) moments an older child behaves nicely, rather than like a savage and shares a toy/ strokes her head/ gives a snack.

Beamur · 21/01/2018 10:04

The nursery where DD went had a baby room, but if the numbers attending were small at any time, they tended to bring the kids together so you had more of an age mix.
I wouldn't worry too much about this, as long as it doesn't keep happening. DD got bitten once but the staff were very good after that at keeping the biter more closely supervised (or in a walker!)

Bazzle · 21/01/2018 10:04

She only goes one day per week, has been scratched once, and you want them to chance the set up of the baby room for her?!

YABVU.

Pinkwintersocks · 21/01/2018 10:08

Who re you suggesting that they put in the playpen? The older babies?

Standard nursery is 0-2 baby room with 1-3 staff ratio. Which means that your baby's key worker may also be key worker to two 18mo babies.

That's just how nursery is I'm afraid.

lcl · 21/01/2018 10:09

YANBU. You must trust your instinct. It’s not acceptable. My son got bitten really badly at nursery and Looking back I made not enough of it. However he took it on himself a week later at 2 yrs old to whack the kid who did it to him ! He got in the most trouble ironically. It’s a big deal leaving your child at day care and if you aren’t happy about something do express it. I didn’t do it enough. Those days are behind me now but I would have expressed concerns more. It sounds like the nursery didn’t notice or want to draw your attention to the scratch which isn’t great.

RadioGaGoo · 21/01/2018 10:10

Maybe look around for another Nursery OP? If you don't feel comfortable leaving your baby in a room of toddlers (I wouldn't either) then I would be looking for another nursery.

pastabest · 21/01/2018 10:11

With the best will in the world she will get scratched/ bitten/ hair pulled/ thumped etc as she progresses through nursery. Small children are sneaky ninjas when it comes to that kind of thing.

However, I do think it is reasonable though to ask that your daughter have somewhere safe to lie on a mat / play with toys at 4/5 months old.

I remember taking DD to playgroup at that age and the 18mth - 2.5 year olds stomping round near her, while she was lying on a mat playing with the other babies. In that situation it's fine and (IMO) good for them to get used to being around other children and their feet as they have a parent keeping a close eye on them and intervening if needs be, but in a busy nursery in a mixed group I would be concerned that a close enough eye wasn't being kept on the situation, and I'm usually pretty relaxed about that sort of thing.

BishopBrennansArse · 21/01/2018 10:13

It's pfb-itis.
Things happen. With an under 2 it wouldn't have been malicious intent.

divadee · 21/01/2018 10:14

Sorry I think you are being unreasonable too. At the childcare my daughter attends all the children are in together. So ranges from 6 months to 4 (maximum of 8 children in the setting though). I have to say it works well. The older ones like helping the babies. The babies come on leaps and bounds copying the older ones.

As for wanting them to change the room for you having 1 day a week i think that's not going to happen. If you were full-time 8-6 every day they may help you out a bit more. It is a business at the end of the day.

Crumbs1 · 21/01/2018 10:15

Mine occasionally had scratches, bruises or even teeth marks and they never went into,daycare as babies! Little children might scratch without malice (although in fairness my two year old did bite her 3 day old brother quite deliberately). I’d not fret about it, they all get scratches and bumps as part of growing up.

AJPTaylor · 21/01/2018 10:19

It is completely reasonable to want to know that your dc is safe. Minimum requirement really.
Were you given a bump note?
If most are 9 months plus could you ask if they have a playpen baby could be popped into when busy?

Thesmallthings · 21/01/2018 10:23

I can understand that your sad she got hurt but ybvu to a expect the nursery to change how they do things and b it will happen at some point again.. she may even be the ine doing it.

Accidents happen, where you told how it happened?

SoupDragon · 21/01/2018 10:23

It's pfb-itis.

Except it isn’t as she has an older child too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/01/2018 10:26

If you’re not happy, is there another nursery around, which moves children to the next room once they walk?

Maryann1975 · 21/01/2018 10:30

Small babies are like a magnet to toddlers, they always seem to be intrigued by them. I think a baby room for 0-2 sounds normal, although with maternity leave of up to a year, generally babies are a bit older than 5 months when they start. If you stay at the nursery you will find other babies coming in who are a similar age to your dc though as their parents go back to work when maternity leave ends.
Unfortunately, I think, if you have picked a nursery that has a big age range for the baby room you would bu to ask them to break it down to 0-1’s and 1-2 year olds. If you want this, you need to find a nursery that already does this, even if this means you have to pay for a second day of care.

insancerre · 21/01/2018 10:33

Our baby room is 0-2
It means fewer transitions as they get older
Unfortunately group care does come with the risk of injury from other children, whether they are older or the same age
It will be the same whatever care you use

DollyDayScream · 21/01/2018 10:43

I think 0-2 is too broad an age group.
I think that at least 0-12 and 12-24 would be more appropriate.

Toddlers will play roughly and it's not fair on the babies.

Viviennemary · 21/01/2018 10:46

YANBU. I'd be furious if this was my child. Why should you pay for your baby to be attacked. I'd find another nursery. 0-2 is far too wide an age range when very small babies are involved. Toddlers can be quite aggressive. I blame the nursery staff and the set up entirely. Not the toddlers.

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 10:46

It isn’t pfb-itis as I have an older child. I could look for another nursery but don’t really want to for one incident. Plus there isn’t many that just do one day.

I probably am being unreasonable but she’s only been twice. I don’t, however think it’s unreasonable to ask for a playpen to put her in while they are with the other toddlers, just while she is so young. I know that toddlers are interested in babies and I’m just worried she’s going to get hurt.

OP posts:

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