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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby scratched at nursery - AIBU...?

87 replies

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 09:54

I’ve recently gone back to work after 5 months maternity leave. In the very fortunate position that my daughter only had to go to nursery for one day. Choosing a nursery was tricky for this reason as most have a minimum of two days however I found a good one by recommendation but something isn’t sitting right with me...

When I took her for her visits she was the youngest baby by about 4/5 Months. They brought a playmat in for her and the older babies wouldn’t leave her alone. It concerned me a bit because the ‘baby’ room is from 0-2 years. I thought that was a bit strange because when my son was at nursery they moved to another room when they could walk.

On Friday my husband picked my daughter up and she had a large scratch near her eye from one of the toddlers. I may be overreacting but WIBU to contact the nursery and ask them to make the baby room more ‘baby friendly’ to keep the very young babies safe from inquisitive toddlers (eg playpen or room divider?)

OP posts:

user1471459936 · 21/01/2018 10:48

That's the problem with nursery - children just don't get the same level of attention and care that they would with a parent. But asking to move her to a playpen is a good idea.

swingofthings · 21/01/2018 10:48

What did they tell your OH? Did he have to ask what happened or did they explained to him right away. Did they fill in a form and asked him to sign it? How bad is the mark?

How many children is under her keywork's care and how old are they? Was it one of them who did it or a different child. I would expect efforts to be made to avoid a boisterous toddler to scratch a 5 months old baby, but at same time, accident to happen, so it really depends on they explained it.

saffinmum · 21/01/2018 10:49

Have you considered looking for a nanny.. lots of nannies do nanny shares and have a spare day or two available (I used nannyjob.com to advertise). Might suit you better until your baby is a little bigger and the cost won't be significantly different.

Neverender · 21/01/2018 10:51

My DD was bitten the other day. It's really not something you can get too worked up over, or you may as well find somewhere with 1-1 care or stay at home yourself. I was just glad it wasn't my DD doing the biting to be honest.

endofacentury · 21/01/2018 10:52

Even within a baby room of 0-2 year olds there absolutely should be a safe area for non mobile babies, this could be sectioned off with baby gates for example. Have worked in many early years settings and this is common place.
My now 13 year old was scratched on the face by a toddler as a 12 week old, she still has the scar. When I raised it with the nursery, they proceeded to section off an area for non mobile babies to ensure their safety. Raise it with them, yanbu to do so.

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 10:56

Thanks everybody. My OH wasn’t really bothered by it but he didn’t sign anything or ask many questions 🙄

I’m not too bothered about her getting scratched - it’s going to happen and I’m sure she will do it to others. I’m just concerned about the room not being safe and it happening again. This is the scratch - but again it’s about how it happened rather than the damage.

OP posts:

BattleaxeGalactica · 21/01/2018 10:59

I don't think it's unreasonable at all to expect a non-mobile baby to be kept safe from boisterous toddlers. It's a basic level of care and the number of days a child is cared for is irrelevant. I'd be having words, definitely.

SkyIsTooHigh · 21/01/2018 11:04

Ours did have a partly cordoned off area within the bigger 0-2ish room for the littlest ones, but they will be mixing anyway for a larger part of the day when they are outside or just elsewhere in the room. Inwouldn't want my baby restricted to a small part of the 0-2 room just in case they encounter a one year old. And babies can scratch their own faces too, grab handfuls of a neighbouring baby's hair etc.

I think this is a question of how often it happens. Once in 2 sessions could just be unlucky. 5 times in 10 sessions and I'd be a lot more worried.

user1471426142 · 21/01/2018 11:16

Are you sure it was one of the other toddlers? Mine used to give herself similar scratches at that age.

I was happy with the 0-2 for my nursery as we didn’t start until 13 months but I don’t think I’d have liked it as much for a smaller baby as the toddlers are so demanding I’d always worry about the level of attention the babies would get and how easy it would be to coordinate different nap routines . If you’re not happy, I’d be tempted to look at places that have 0-12 months even if that means upping the days to 2 (not ideal financially obviously) or a different type of childcare.

GU24Mum · 21/01/2018 11:18

I think you've had a bit of a hard time on here. The scratch looks more than a tiny one. The nurseries round us typically have a room for the younger babies and then one until they turn two. It slightly depends on numbers but the move from the first to the toddler room is often triggered by how mobile they are (though fortunately they didn't make my fairly lazy younger two stay in the baby room til they wanted to walk!). I'd have a look at the other options round you. Yes, accidents happen (mine on occasion got bitten etc) but the nursery staff were very up front about explaining what had happened on a no-names basis.

pictish · 21/01/2018 11:18

That scratch is tiny. If you use group care you have to accept that there will be other children present and there will always be a risk of little, inconsequential accidents even if staff have eyes in the back of their heads. They are not about to change their entire set up to suit your personal preferences. Toughen up and bash on with it.

ZenNudist · 21/01/2018 11:27

Well our nursey has 0-2 baby/tots room divided up into crawlers and walkers. A crawling child could still scrstch a baby.

Maybe find another nursery if you arent happy. It will be for a short time in tots so not worth it if you like the rest of the nursery.

You must have had to sign an accident book? If not thats not good practice.

Unfortunately you are being PFB about scratches. She will come back with more injuries yet!

I was sad to see ds1 get a nasty bite mark. I thunk it was tied in with guilt about going back to work. He was over 1.

Then later he was the one injuring other children !!@@!

insancerre · 21/01/2018 11:31

I'm surprised your dh didn't have to sign an accident form
That is quite remiss of them
Unless it was only noticed when he arrived, which is also worrying
As a manager, I wouldn't mind in the slightest if a parent rang to find out what had happened and to ask for it to included in the accident log

flumpybear · 21/01/2018 11:33

I'm surprised they didn't tell you how the scratch happened tbh

Ask them next week and perhaps suggest the playpen if other children are overly interested in her - it doesn't look bruised so I'd guess it was either her scratching herself or another child being curious

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 11:34

Again it’s not PFB as I have an older child.

I know the scratch isn’t big - that isn’t my concern it’s whether she is going to be safe with such a wide age range. I think I’ll speak to them and find out what happened (she didn’t do it herself, another child grabbed her) then go from there. Don’t want to move nurseries over one incident.

OP posts:

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 11:35

All my husband told me was that nursery manager told him a child had grabbed her face. Nothing signed.

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 21/01/2018 11:36

She could have easily done that to herself.

confusedlittleone · 21/01/2018 11:39

My youngest was scratched by a 7mo when he was also 7mo- these things happen, even if it was 0-12 and 12-24 rooms there's no guarantee an accident wouldn't happen

SoyUnPerdedor2 · 21/01/2018 11:40

I've never seen a nursery with a 0-2 room.
The one I used had 0-1 , 12-18 months,18-24 months. As guidelines.
It was more like 0-crawling. Crawling to walking. Walking -potty trained.

If your little one is happy in a play pen, either take one for her or ask if nursery have one she can use.

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 11:43

Yeh my sons nursery was 0-walking in the baby room which is why I find this one a bit unusual but wasn’t sure what most nurseries do. She didn’t do it herself. The nursery told my husband it was another child.

OP posts:

BhajiAllTheWay · 21/01/2018 11:45

It's a tough one OP. I remember being horrified when one of my DC was bitten on the face with a perfect ring of teeth marks ( just in time for the photos!) I did go in and have a word and it was nothing to do with "pfb". Having said that, the nursery was brilliant but things did happen from time to time as they literally cannot be behind every child every second. Go and see them, and assess if they can put your mind at rest a bit. It's only natural to feel as you do. Hope your baby is doing fine now x

LalaLeona · 21/01/2018 11:45

No not unreasonable as far as I'm concerned!

SkyIsTooHigh · 21/01/2018 11:48

Our nursery only had 2 groups, 0-2ish and preschool. It was deliberately done after a lot of research to minimise transitions for the children. Their one transition was done in groups of peers, with their keyworker, so absolutely minimising the change. The idea of mixed ages also was considered more natural and family/neighbourhood-like than children mainly mixing with their year group. Younger ones learned from the older ones, older ones got to experience being top dogs and everyone took their turn at both.

There are pluses and minuses to dividing the children up into lots of age separated rooms, but for us it's quite gentle and natural to have them in wider age bands. I wouldn't be too quick to cry "separating babies and toddlers good, everything else bad!"

AuntLydia · 21/01/2018 11:49

I think if you have concerns you should always talk to the nursery about them - for reassurance if nothing else.

However, I'm a childminder so all of the babies I've looked after have been around toddlers and older kids so I don't necessarily agree that the age grouping is a problem. Are you happy they have the correct levels of supervision? These things can happen in the blink of an eye even when you're watching kids closely and even with kids their own age. Babies as young as 9 months can grab a fistful of hair or a chunk of flesh and really hurt each other. I was at Playgroup Friday and saw twin toddlers sat on their parent's lap when one leaned over and bit down hard on the other's arm!! If I were you I would give this a bit more time to see if it's a one off or indicative of a problem

MyNewBearTotoro · 21/01/2018 11:50

I think YABU - you chose a nursery where the room was 0-2. I used to work in a nursery where we had 0-1, 1-2, 2-3 and 3+ and the babies moved out once they were walking, but this isn’t the sort of setting you’ve chosen.

If you don’t like the set-up at your DD’s nursery then change nurseries or use a childminder. I wouldn’t expect them to buy a playpen especially for your DD, aside from the fact that playpens might be off putting for some prospective parents your DD is only in one day a week, and will likely only need the playpen for another few months. Why would they pay for a large, bulky item that won’t be used 80% of the time and will take up space or need to be stored and will then become unnecessary once your DD is crawling?

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