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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby scratched at nursery - AIBU...?

87 replies

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 09:54

I’ve recently gone back to work after 5 months maternity leave. In the very fortunate position that my daughter only had to go to nursery for one day. Choosing a nursery was tricky for this reason as most have a minimum of two days however I found a good one by recommendation but something isn’t sitting right with me...

When I took her for her visits she was the youngest baby by about 4/5 Months. They brought a playmat in for her and the older babies wouldn’t leave her alone. It concerned me a bit because the ‘baby’ room is from 0-2 years. I thought that was a bit strange because when my son was at nursery they moved to another room when they could walk.

On Friday my husband picked my daughter up and she had a large scratch near her eye from one of the toddlers. I may be overreacting but WIBU to contact the nursery and ask them to make the baby room more ‘baby friendly’ to keep the very young babies safe from inquisitive toddlers (eg playpen or room divider?)

OP posts:

underneaththeash · 21/01/2018 11:54

I'd choose a different setting. I think 0-2 to too big an age range to have together, especially when your daughter is so little.

Crumbs1 · 21/01/2018 11:56

Are you sure she didn’t scratch herself? Babies often do.

DontCallMeJohnBoy · 21/01/2018 11:59

OP, we're looking at a nursery for DC2 and in the one we're considering there are only 4 rooms, but it's one from 0 - stable on feet, one from stable on feet to 2, 2 - 3 and 3 to school so the bigger "broad range" of ages is in the older age group, potentially up to 2 years if you have a September baby.

I would go in, say that your husband had mentioned her face had been grabbed by another child and what measures are they putting in place to prevent this recurring. You understand there's quite a wide age range in the room and are looking for what safeguards they're putting in place for the little ones who can't get out of the way. Keep it factual and don't be fobbed off.

Ours is likely to be going to nursery at 6 months as I'm the main wage earner so need to be back at work and I'd noticed even our nursery had mainly 9 months+ babies and fewer little tots when we visited. It was something I commented on to DH - they mainly slept on floor mats as they didn't need cots, for example.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 21/01/2018 12:03

I’d choose a different nursery, or reduce a day a work or use a childminder, or get a nanny for the day. Quite a few nannies are on 4 day contracts, so it might not be too hard to find one. She’s too little to be in a room with toddlers. Toddlers are gorgeous but generally clumsy and obviously do not understand they need to be careful of the baby. I think this set up is unfair on them too.

That scratch could have been far worse (through no fault of the toddler) and I wouldn’t put her in that vulnerable position again.

GottadoitGottadoit · 21/01/2018 12:04

I think that scratch is tiny.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 21/01/2018 12:05

crumbs. RTFT, or at the very least the OP’s posts! the op has said at least four times that the nursery said another child grabbed her face & caused the scratch.

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 12:07

Yes I’m sure there is enough supervision and I know these things happen.

OP posts:

pictish · 21/01/2018 12:08

So what's the problem then?

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2018 12:27

Why not switch to a childminder?

codswallopandbalderdash · 21/01/2018 12:27

OK,few things.

Personally I prefer the set up when children move into a different room about 16-18 months
Did the nursery explain what had happened? I remember having to sign accident forms for stuff like this when DS was a baby.
Did the nursery staff wipe clean the scratch, put cold cloth on it? Staff routinely did when DS was a baby
May when your DD is a bit older you would consider putting her in an extra day. It does help for staff to know your child and for your child to get into a routine. I gradually increased the time my DS went to nursery to prepare him for school

codswallopandbalderdash · 21/01/2018 12:28

Sorry hadn't RFT - realise another child had grabbed your DD. In that case echo what PP had said which is what are they going to do to stop this happening again

restingbemusedface · 21/01/2018 12:31

You put her in a nursery without a separate baby room. It may be time to move nursery if you want her away from scratchy toddlers. Unfortunately a lot of under 2s go through scratchy/biting/hitting phases as they can’t express their frustrations, you PFB may well be that toddler one day!

pastabest · 21/01/2018 12:32

I think a lot of posters are massively missing the point. It's not really about the scratch on this occasion, it's just the scratch has focused the OPs attention on the fact that her non mobile young baby is being left as a sitting duck for (probably) very short periods of time, but long enough for stompy inquisitive toddlers to have a poke.

The OP knows that these things happen at nursery, but I don't think she would be unreasonable to assume that there would be somewhere relatively safe to leave a non mobile baby (such as a small play pen or travel cot) while the key worker attends briefly to one of the older children.

A 4/5 month old baby might not even be sitting up, and they definetly won't be able to move out of the way of a bigger child or push them away.

SayWhatYouKnow · 21/01/2018 13:46

I can't believe no one is concerned that a small baby has been scratched yet it's of no concern and just labelled as part and parcel of nursery?

Would you all say the same if a 10 week old baby was scratched? I'd be concerned tbh

pictish · 21/01/2018 13:50

I would.

insancerre · 21/01/2018 13:50

But it is just part and parcel of being in a nursery
A nursery has more than one child and no mattwt how many adults there are, small children will always end up hurting each other
It's perfectly normal behaviour and happens in every family the world over
It's unrealistic to expect it not to happen

LouHotel · 21/01/2018 13:57

My nursery is 0-2 but they start to transition from 20 months.

My 19 months is now one of oldest and theyve done a lot of 'gentle gentle' work which i do at home.

It is unusual in UK for babies to go to nursery before 9 months due to SMP so i can understand how the nursery is not use to it. This isnt meant to be judgement at you going back at 5 months as all situations are different.

I think a playpen ia a reasonable adjustment, would you potentially half the cost with them?

ThisLittleKitty · 21/01/2018 14:02

Errr those saying the baby could have done it to herself! Seuoursly?! If they nursery didn't know how it happened that would be raising huge concerns for me!! Whenever my kids are hurt at school they always tell me exactly how it happened and make me sign a form. I would be worried about lack of supervision.

StopCallingMeShirley · 21/01/2018 14:17

0-walking is pretty arbitrary too. And it seems you don't know the age of the child that did it. It could just as easily have been a still crawling 8-12 month old.

Some babies start walking by 9 months old. Should they then be moved to a room of bigger children? Others don't walk until closer to 18 months, but are high speed crawlers.

Whatever cut off is chosen is potentially problematic to some parents.

Original poster

LJC123 · 21/01/2018 15:26

Yes it could have been another crawling baby but as my daughter isn’t even sitting up yet, it just makes me uncomfortable that she is vulnerable currently. Like others have said, she will be crawling soon but if she’s in an unsafe position by being on the floor near walkers, surely they should do something to reduce the small risk? It’s a very big room with approx 8 children in (aged 0-2years).

I didn’t want a childminder as I like nurseries and like that she’d socialise with babies her own age. I didn’t realise that the children in the baby room stay in for so long - I just presumed they moved up when they could walk as was my past experience. It was only during a visit they told me but I didn’t think much of it until she was hurt on friday.

OP posts:

SaturdaySauv · 21/01/2018 15:40

I agree with the pp that have said 0-2 is too broad a range. A friend of ours is on the other side of that deal- an almost 2 year old with babies much younger all day.

Her development has massively slowed down in the last six months (particularly speech) which could be completely unrelated but I'm sure she'll do better when the activities/games/language is geared towards toddlers rather than much littler ones.

My DD has moved room twice in the same time frame and both times there have been big development leaps. Slightly off topic but worth thinking about for when she's bigger.

KimchiLaLa · 21/01/2018 15:51

0-2 is weird. All nurseries I've seen have been 0-12 months and then 1-2

isadoradancing123 · 21/01/2018 15:55

I wouldn't put my baby in a 0-2 room I think up to 2 is too much with small babies

Sweetpotatoaddict · 21/01/2018 16:03

0-2 in my dcs nursery. There are only a couple of under 1s in the room, so an under 1s room wouldn't really be feasible.
The scratch could well have been herself, my ds had a horrible scratch that was self inflicted.,

Tumbleweed101 · 21/01/2018 16:45

I’d imagine the staff are now aware of who the more curious older babies are with your smaller one and will keep a closer eye on any interactions between them. But it won’t hurt to ask what safe guards they’ll put in place. Babies are curious with one another and are still too small themselves to control their hands fully so they tend to catch one another awkwardly, ive seen very young babies catch each other in a similar way so the age range may not make a huge difference.

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