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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send 6yo to bed ‘hungry’

86 replies

Singlebutmarried · 12/12/2017 20:46

Firstly hello all. I’ve been lurks by for a couple of weeks now and have been throughly entertained by Antique ram castrators and FTCFs.

My 6yo daughter is refusing to go to bed as she’s ‘hungry’

I’ve got to the stage where I’m fed up of her not eating all her dinner then asking for more half an hour later.

This has been going on for months.

Hubby works away mon- fri, she’s called him complaining about me and he’s now had a go says no I should just deal with it as he can’t parent from a different part of the country.

Proper peed off at the mo

OP posts:

Monoblock67 · 12/12/2017 20:48

What do you do with her dinner when she refuses it? I’d leave it on the plate and when she complains about being hungry offer that up again, reheated if need be. I wouldn’t do this is if it was one off behaviour but if she’s doing it every night it does become very grating!

Bambamber · 12/12/2017 20:49

I would personally give her 2 options: a slice of toast, or go to bed hungry. Or keep her uneaten dinner to one side so when she complains she has the option of finishing her dinner or go to bed hungry

KindergartenKop · 12/12/2017 20:49

You are dealing with it. You cook, you serve, she chooses not to eat.

However, try to serve meals with one thing she will eat to ease your own stress levels.

Original poster

Singlebutmarried · 12/12/2017 20:52

It was her favourite food tonight as well.

It’s an ongoing battle, im pretty sure it’s because she doesn’t want to go to bed.

She’s been well fed today (as every other day)

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 12/12/2017 20:52

Your dp shouldn’t be undermining your parenting

Leave your dc to go to bed hungry and tell her to eat her dinner tomorrow

ChocolateButton15 · 12/12/2017 20:53

I think you should follow through with no more food tonight. Maybe keep the rest of the dinner next time and re offer it when she asks half hour later. Or any food she gets if she hasnt eaten dinner is boring, slice of buttered toast or banana.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/12/2017 20:54

I'd keep her plate aside and when she starts saying she's hungry offer her that unless it's something I know she's really not that keen on. Generally speaking if my DC don't eat meals when offered they can have fruit as a snack but that's all that's on offer - no treats or alternative meals here.

BifsWif · 12/12/2017 20:54

If you know she’s not actually hungry, then send her to bed.

Otherwise offer her the original meal, reheated.

Cabininthewoods69 · 12/12/2017 20:55

My dd does this but eats all her dinner. She's 9 and now is in a habit. I'm slowly winning the battle by just fruit xx

Original poster

Singlebutmarried · 12/12/2017 20:55

Currently heating up her leftover risotto.

OP posts:

SomeBananasAreStillGreen · 12/12/2017 20:55

I used to give in to this, and I used to spend all evening trotting up and down the stairs with tasty snacks. ..

Not any more. ...!

These days, it's reheated dinner, a slice of toast or nothing.

The kids soon gave up trying to control me with food

softkittywarmkitty28 · 12/12/2017 20:56

My dd does this so I keep her meal in the microwave til she goes to bed. Then it's just warmed up if she's hungry

Solasum · 12/12/2017 20:57

My DS isn’t a big eater and is on the skinny side so I let him have weetabix or cornflakes before bedtime to top him up if he says he is hungry, whether or not he has eaten dinner. Getting into pyjamas is the cutoff though, no food after that, and more time to eat before bed means less story time.

It is pretty demoralising cooking a meal and it being barely touched, but as pp have said, it is your job to serve food, theirs to eat it

Believeitornot · 12/12/2017 20:57

If you’re hungry would you eat your reheated dinner?
Reheated rice is a bit dodge.

Don’t make it a big deal. Serve her smaller portions at dinner and give her a bedtime milk and snack.

mumonashoestring · 12/12/2017 20:58

DS (5) gets directed to the fruit bowl if he's mithering for food after dinner. If he doesn't want an apple then he's trying it on.

(Disclaimer: I'm well aware that some children will go hungry rather than eat fruit due to sensory issues or similar - DS isn't one of them. He's just a toerag )

Hiphopopotamus · 12/12/2017 20:58

How has your six year old daughter been able to call your husband without you knowing or checking?

cardibach · 12/12/2017 20:59

ChocolateButton your suggestion wouldn’t work for me - I bloody love buttered toast and banana!
OP if you know she isn’t hungry, send her to bed.

Chilver · 12/12/2017 21:01

We have this all the time. Not necessarily to not go to bed but about half an hr after every meal 'i'm hungry'.. drives me bonkers!

Before bed, if she was offered more food at meal time and didn't want anymore then, she gets a choice of a glass of milk or nothing. She normally drinks the milk with a grump but goes to bed then.

Love51 · 12/12/2017 21:02

If they have been given edible food and refused, they can go to bed hungry. I don't adhere to this with my youngest as he will then wake us all up at 5am because he is actually hungry. So I insist he eats up, and offer crackers or toast or similar ( he doesn't get a choice!) If he tries and then genuinely dislikes his dinner.
If her dad is free to take a phone call, he can parent internationally. It's the absolute bare minimum of parenting, which is why he must try his hardest and manage it.

formerbabe · 12/12/2017 21:02

If you’re hungry would you eat your reheated dinner?

Yes of course.

softkittywarmkitty28 · 12/12/2017 21:05

believe depends what was left.
I would get dd to eat her leftovers mostly unless it was just little bits.
But cold sausage, pasta, rice, chicken, re heated curry etc would all be fine to eat.

Believeitornot · 12/12/2017 21:08

I wouldn’t....

But I don’t serve up big portions for myself or the dcs because experience teaches me that a) it doesn’t always get eaten and b) there’s no reason to clear your plate unless you’re genuinely hungry and that’s very difficult to predict.

Better to under serve and have a snack later than try and predict exact portion sizes and have a battle later.

Raver84 · 12/12/2017 21:11

If she's doing this all the time why not just feed her once bit later so if she isn't hungry at say 5 but is at say 6 make dinner 6. Pudding or fruit whatever after then if still hungry toast or cereal before bed .

glitterlips1 · 12/12/2017 21:11

I usually let my children have something like toast. I don't like them going to bed feeling hungry and I wouldn't reheat their dinner because I wouldn't do that myself. I would try to determine why she isn't eating her dinner and get to the root of that.

Original poster

Singlebutmarried · 12/12/2017 21:13

No idea how to tag people but in answer to how can she call her dad.

I was in the loo and she can unlock and face time him. He’s worked away for three years or more now so she’s well versed in using the phone/iPad/Skype to speak to him of an evening.

She did eat reheated risotto, 1 mouthful, then anniversary need she was full and is now in bed.

I’ve alrwady reduced meal portions to try and resolve the not eating a the dinner issue, but she then still leaves some.

It’s a nightly occurrence at the moment and has been for some months.

Can’t pinpoint an exact time when it started, but it’s now beyond a joke.

OP posts:

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