Aib a knob or would you be annoyed?

[BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried]

I keep in touch with a former colleague meeting up for coffee or lunch every now and then. Haven’t seen her in a while but bumped into her last weekend and she suggested we go for drinks in a local bar this weekend. I’m a lone parent and DCs dad isn’t involved so I said I would ask if my mum could babysit and let her know. Mum said yes so I let friend know and she replied that she had an appointment in the morning so we could meet for coffee afterwards. I was a bit confused as she definitely said drinks and named the bar but anyway my DCs have a hobby they attend on Saturdays at lunchtime so I said I could meet at 1. She said great we could have lunch. Then she text later asking to change the venue to another town as her friend has a stall at a craft fair and we could have lunch then look around the fair. I checked with my mum if she could collect Dc from hobby which was fine and confirmed with friend and Said I would be there about 1.15 as was travelling from where Dc club is. Then tonight she text asking if I could come at 12 as she had forgotten she had arranged to see another friend at 2. I said I couldn’t as no-one to take DC earlier and she said ok she could order for me and we could eat quickly. I’ve never been to the place we are going so have no idea of the menu. Have looked online and they don’t have it on their website or Facebook page. I don’t really fancy eating what someone else thinks I’ll like or eating it quickly. I was looking forward to seeing her but now it all feels very rushed and not the relaxing catch up I was hoping for. I feel like saying I can’t make it and rearranging for another time.

Sounds like too much hassle. I couldn't be arsed with it. Especially if the other person is rushing off.

How annoying when people do this.

You would be well within your rights to cancel after all this to-img and fro-ing. As if she thinks you have nothing better to do than wait around for her!

TBH I would rearrange for another day as clearly that day isn't good enough for her. If it happened again, is cut my losses and not see her. She's just an old colleague- not like she's a close friend. She obviously doesn't value your time.

Yep, I think you’re both right. It’s a lot of hassle for me to go to for a rushed meal i’ll Probably have to force down. I’ll cancel.

Is she someone who doesn't have kids? She sounds bloody clueless!

Definitely cancel. Cheeky cow. "We could eat quickly. No Thanks!

What so she wants to you travel to a different town to eat what she chooses and you have 45 minutes to eat it before she leaves??? Not a fucking hope! Cancel, she is a cf

45 minutes to eat and take in the craft fair! Might as well get a McDs drive thru!

No she has no children.

Yes cancel, to be honest even if she doesn't have kids which might explain a bit of messing on times, it is quite rude.

Re arrange, she has rearranged on you numerous times, your turn now.

No. This is awful the way she has messed you about.
You can tell she has the selfishness and lack of understanding of someone who hasn't got children ( which in fairness, a lot of people have as they simply don't understand)
I would definatly not go. It hardly sounds like fun does it. And from what you have said I would feel that she is prioritising her 2pm friend over me. I certainly wouldn't use up a babysitting credit for a 45 min lunch and zoom around craft fair in another town!! Bugger that!

Tell her you don't want to do the rushed lunch thing and you will re arrange something with her after Christmas- then it's up to you if you do or not.

No don't bother. She sounds all over the place. I'd say let's do it another time and leave it there. It's hectic when you have to juggle childcare to have a bit of time out and she's complimented things.

Complicated things, sorry...

Thanks everyone. I haven’t been out in ages so I was excited at the thought of an alcoholic drink in a public establishment with other grown ups. then it just kept getting downgraded. Ah well.

Been there, bought the T-shirt! I hope you can find someone else to go out with in the evening, OP, now that you have childcare arranged.

Oh I had cancelled my mum for the evening, not sure if she is still free. I could ask, I don’t want to piss her off with chopping and changing though!

Tell her the whole sorry story, Battered, if she's still free, she won't mind.

I'd be annoyed by this and would definitely cancel. It's unreasonable of her to expect you to eat so quickly to fit you around her other arrangements. I'd already be disappointed that the drinks in a bar had become coffee! Is it possible that she would have seen this as a casual suggestion and you saw it as a more definite arrangement? Even if so, I think she's been a bit thoughtless. Hopefully this isn't typical behaviour of people without kids. I haven't got them and wouldn't mess around with people's time like that.

I'd just say something like 'let's leave it for this week and arrange a time we're both properly free' then leave the ball in her court.

She’s being a knob.

Even if you didn't have kids, she is messing you around and people can't always change plans at the drop of a hat. I'd just leave it.

Cancel.
Don’t know about you, but I have no time for diary fillers like this.
She’s messing you about, and Thinks that her time is more precious than yours.

Reschedule.

Good luck.

Knob, she is.
Cancel and don't bother with her anymore.

I’d definitely cancel. What a pita.

Why can’t she cancel 2pm friend or move 2pm friend along, maybe she already has though.

God no, YANBU.

I would be hard pushedto work that hard for a friend , let alone a former colleague.

Very selfish of your friend not to see that these kinds of things are tricky to arrange and rearrange for a lone parent. I'd see if your mum could still sit in the evening and find someone else to go and have a drink with!