Aib a knob or would you be annoyed?

[BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried]

I keep in touch with a former colleague meeting up for coffee or lunch every now and then. Haven’t seen her in a while but bumped into her last weekend and she suggested we go for drinks in a local bar this weekend. I’m a lone parent and DCs dad isn’t involved so I said I would ask if my mum could babysit and let her know. Mum said yes so I let friend know and she replied that she had an appointment in the morning so we could meet for coffee afterwards. I was a bit confused as she definitely said drinks and named the bar but anyway my DCs have a hobby they attend on Saturdays at lunchtime so I said I could meet at 1. She said great we could have lunch. Then she text later asking to change the venue to another town as her friend has a stall at a craft fair and we could have lunch then look around the fair. I checked with my mum if she could collect Dc from hobby which was fine and confirmed with friend and Said I would be there about 1.15 as was travelling from where Dc club is. Then tonight she text asking if I could come at 12 as she had forgotten she had arranged to see another friend at 2. I said I couldn’t as no-one to take DC earlier and she said ok she could order for me and we could eat quickly. I’ve never been to the place we are going so have no idea of the menu. Have looked online and they don’t have it on their website or Facebook page. I don’t really fancy eating what someone else thinks I’ll like or eating it quickly. I was looking forward to seeing her but now it all feels very rushed and not the relaxing catch up I was hoping for. I feel like saying I can’t make it and rearranging for another time.

Yes, she's messing you around. Sounds as if she doesn't have children and is flitting around trying to fit too much in.

That’s a waste of babysitting. Cancel and ask her to let you know when she’s actually free.

She wants you to meet her for 45 mins for lunch before she goes off to meet another friend?
Ha! I don't think so!
Tell her that you don't want to rush lunch & ask her to let you know when she's not such a CF so busy.

She's a dick. Text and say, "On second thoughts, while I was looking forward to the drinks night you initially suggested, I'm not as keen on being squeezed in for a hasty lunch before you meet another friend. Give me a shout if you are free for a good catch up soon. xx"

Er, WTF?? I don't have children, but I still wouldn't expect someone to keep changing the time and location of plans, to rush their food and then watch me bugger off after three quarters of an hour to meet someone else. That's just rude.

Friend is being an inconsiderate arse, but that's not an excuse for lots of slagging off of childless people.

I'm still waiting to hear back from two friends who I wrote to to arrange meeting up in August. Is that perfectly acceptable because they both happen to have children?

You can tell she has the selfishness and lack of understanding of someone who hasn't got children

Just fuck off. It's isn't actually a sine qua non.

Knob, she is
Are you Yoda?

Oh I know someone like this, changes plans endlessly. With my person it's a case of an envious personality, constantly seeking a better option, and it impedes every aspect of her life. Too much hassle for me so I rarely see her.

In your case, I think your friend has been extremely inconsiderate. Is she normally like this? If not, I'd probably give it one more shot, ie rearrange at a time/place to suit you. If it's typical for her I'd just give her a wide berth. You can do better than this!

Shes so selfish, trying to squeeze you in between her other friends!
Yanbu. DEFINITELY not

*Er, WTF?? I don't have children, but I still wouldn't expect someone to keep changing the time and location of plans, to rush their food and then watch me bugger off after three quarters of an hour to meet someone else. That's just rude.

Friend is being an inconsiderate arse, but that's not an excuse for lots of slagging off of childless people*

Completely agree. Cavalier disregard for other people's time is thoughtlessness and bad manners. It isn't a natural personality trait of someone who doesn't have children.

Good grief, I couldn't put up with this. It's disrespectful. You are the afterthought in all her plans. She's trying to squeeze you in like a doctor's appointment. I'd rather meet with someone who was going to enjoy my company.

No, it isn’t anything to do with being childless. I was childless for many years and I wouldn’t have dreamt of messing my mum friends or anyone else like that. Very rude behaviour.

Not having children might mean a friend doesn't know when half term is or forgets you cant make plans at short notice, I don't think it usually translates as endlessly pissing someone about, does it? Even piss-takers can breed.

Sorry that sounds really rude

Even piss-takers can have children.

Too much work on badgers recently.

I’d have replied ‘oh, no, can you not do the evening at xx bar now? I organised a babysitter!’ In tne first place.

She probably thinks you are cool with all this re-arranging, because you have gone along with it all.

She is flaky and gets herself over committed without realising that she pisses everyone else off in tne process.

Even piss-takers can breed.

And even breeders can take the piss. But what I want to know is - can badgers?

sounds like she had a better offer.
agree with pictish choice of text

or say, when shall we go for that drink

You can tell she has the selfishness and lack of understanding of someone who hasn't got children

Don't assume that because you were a selfish twat before having children, that others without children are. Frankly that statement says a lot more about you, than those without children.

I wouldn't bother meeting up with her, op. She may be a twat or she may be one of these people that try's to please everyone and just ends up pissing people of, as she stretches herself too thin. You know her best, so you know if it's a relationship worth maintaining.

Did you ask her about going for drinks?
I wouldn't bother meeting up with her for this rushed lunch business.

^ Yes to what PovertyPain said!

She is being very self centred, why can't she tell her 2pm friend that she has a date with you?
This is exactly the sort of thing my sister would do and it makes my blood boil

Cancel!
Very rude friend: So you are expected to keep re-arranging to fit into her oh-so-busy life, but there is no recognition that you also have commitments? Slotting you in for 45 minutes between her other social engagements? Fuck that.

If you do still want to meet up and this is out of character for her, then ask to re-arrange on a day when she actually has time to meet you, and make sure you have a definite commitment from her before arranging any baby sitting. Then tolerate no more messing about/re-arranging. If she does this to you twice, she's not worth bothering with.

In my experience, people who don't give a shit about other people's plans or childcare just get WORSE if they have kids, after all they now have even more to squeeze in and an even better excuse to bend everyone else to their will!

She was the U one