Aib a knob or would you be annoyed?

[BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried]

I keep in touch with a former colleague meeting up for coffee or lunch every now and then. Haven’t seen her in a while but bumped into her last weekend and she suggested we go for drinks in a local bar this weekend. I’m a lone parent and DCs dad isn’t involved so I said I would ask if my mum could babysit and let her know. Mum said yes so I let friend know and she replied that she had an appointment in the morning so we could meet for coffee afterwards. I was a bit confused as she definitely said drinks and named the bar but anyway my DCs have a hobby they attend on Saturdays at lunchtime so I said I could meet at 1. She said great we could have lunch. Then she text later asking to change the venue to another town as her friend has a stall at a craft fair and we could have lunch then look around the fair. I checked with my mum if she could collect Dc from hobby which was fine and confirmed with friend and Said I would be there about 1.15 as was travelling from where Dc club is. Then tonight she text asking if I could come at 12 as she had forgotten she had arranged to see another friend at 2. I said I couldn’t as no-one to take DC earlier and she said ok she could order for me and we could eat quickly. I’ve never been to the place we are going so have no idea of the menu. Have looked online and they don’t have it on their website or Facebook page. I don’t really fancy eating what someone else thinks I’ll like or eating it quickly. I was looking forward to seeing her but now it all feels very rushed and not the relaxing catch up I was hoping for. I feel like saying I can’t make it and rearranging for another time.

You aren't being a knob, she is

Apologies to the OP, but I am still smarting from various comments upthread. It's noone's fault that I can't have children and I have to accept that, but I'll be damned if I'll accept smug "mummies" branding me and everyone else who hasn't produced a child - for whatever reason - selfish and lacking in understanding as if it's an accepted truth.

Tbf, the OP never suggested that her friend behaved the way she did because she didn’t have children.

Grand, ignore those 2 posters. They have been on ther threads saying deliberately hurtful things. Please take note of the rest of the thread where everyone has told them they are wrong! Please don't be upset by those unfair comments

Mittens you're right, she didn't. OP sounds lovely and has been royally messed around by her former colleague because former colleague is unable to appreciate that she should not treat anyone in such a thoughtless manner. Former colleague sounds like a selfish madam but this is because that's who she is. She is not like this because she is childless and to suggest otherwise is just hurtful to others. There are plenty of parents who can be equally selfish - and plenty of threads on here bear witness to that.

jollygiraffe. Cross post! I didn't realise those poster had form. And sorry, I should have said a thank you to those PPs who called them out.
Thank you!

Even without the childcare issues, expecting a friend to snarf down lunch AND pop into the craft fair in 45 minutes is bloody rude. Add to it the fact that it is the 4th change in the catch up time/venue and that the friend has had to change her babysitting requirements each bloody time then it goes way beyond rude.

I do agree that those were horrible posts. It's a shame that they have succeeded in derailing the thread the way they undoubtedly did.

Yes I have messaged.

I said “hi X, im going to take a rain check on lunch tomorrow. It will be too rushed and I would rather do it when we’ve got time to catch up properly. Let me know when you’re free again and we’ll take a proper stab at it.”

She has replied, “awk ok. Sorry.”

Sorry - should have been clearer that I did realise it wasn't the OP who made those comments.

No worries grand!

Your message sounds great.

Is that all she said?! She clearly doesn't get it at all...

Yep that was it.

re-arrange! She sounds clueless! How annoying for you.

I'd just like to make the point, I am child free and have never messed anyone around like this.

Somebody on another recent thread seemed to think childfree people were cheating the system by getting a free upbringing themselves & then not bringing up anyone else in return.

I thought most people chose to have kids because they thought it would make them happy, but she actually seemed jealous of those of us who hadn't put ourselves through it .

Somebody on another recent thread seemed to think childfree people were cheating the system by getting a free upbringing themselves & then not bringing up anyone else in return

Hahaha

I had a friend who choose to not have children and apparently people accused her of being selfish. I could never get my head around that.

As for child-free people being inconsiderate, I think it is normal. I used to work with really the most wonderful bunch of people but they still kept on calling meetings at times that somebody with children could not attend.

Somebody on another recent thread seemed to think childfree people were cheating the system by getting a free upbringing themselves & then not bringing up anyone else in return.

what?? So child free people owe an upbringing to someone? To who? Their parents? (Who elected to have them!)

Another one here who is horrified at some of the comments about people without kids being selfish and having form for pissing people around (not the OP - you're lovely)

I don't have kids and it's normally people with kids who piss me around. When it's because of genuine child-care issues I'm fine with that. But it definitely works both ways.

In my expereince Piss-taker before having kids - Piss-taker extraordinaire after having kids

What times can people with children not make that people with children can make?

What times can people with children not make that people with children can make?

Is that a riddle?

Is one of those 'withs' supposed to be a 'without' Stealth?

Um yes. I hate it when other people do that.
But yes. What times can people without children do that people with children can't

The witching hour for me is that time when you can't get an evening babysitter to come before, and that someone doing you a favour after school can't do beyond, so 5-7 ish. Sometimes doable, but sometimes not.

I used to have to have one babysitter handover to another occasionally but sometimes I just couldn't organise it without a gap in times so would be unable to attend events. I could go out during school time to just after school, or I could go out in the evening, relatively easily.

Yes but that isn't a rule. There is no time that must be avoided as parents cannot make it. Some times are better for some groups than others.