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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Five Mums in a row on a cafe table (diagram!)

84 replies

TheClaws · 22/08/2017 03:55

The scene: Busy cafe this morning. It's a small cafe with only eight or so tables in the middle of a shopping centre, with people walking past on either side of the tables. On either end of the cafe, two long tables are set up that can seat twelve: six each side. Today though, a group of Mums, Grans and kids set up so they were sitting on one side of a table only.

Now, the cafe was busy. Someone did actually approach and ask if they it was okay if they sat down at the table, to be met with, "No, sorry, there's no room!" AIBU to think this was a little unreasonable (and giving mothers a bad name?)

Five Mums in a row on a cafe table (diagram!)
OP posts:
Shadow666 · 22/08/2017 04:15

I was all excited thinking you meant row as in argument, plus a diagram but can't really get worked up about this.

How many mums were there though if there were only 5 people and it included kids and grans too? You said 5 mums, but where were the others sitting?

Were they waiting for other people to join them?

Escargot82 · 22/08/2017 04:45

You've only marked 5 seats as taken?

SilverBirchTree · 22/08/2017 04:47

I would have just sat down if there were no other seats.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 22/08/2017 04:49

I'd have plonked myself down anyway and smiled sweetly while they tutted.
I might even have said something like "I know I'm fat but I'm not that fat" and given them the glad eye daring them to kick off Grin (ut I am a complete bitch when I am tired/hungry/thirsty/in need of a sit down and/or a cuppa) Sod them for a game of soldiers.

Original poster
TheClaws · 22/08/2017 05:09

A few Mums, a Gran or so, some kids in laps and running around, and another baby in the buggy on the side. They weren't waiting for anyone else as they were there at least as long as we were (hour and a half) with no-one else joining them.

Would you want to sit with all that facing grimly you??

OP posts:
Original poster
TheClaws · 22/08/2017 05:10

Whoops - * grimly facing

OP posts:
Original poster
TheClaws · 22/08/2017 05:11

Shadow, sorry, five Mums in a shouty argument in a cafe would certainly be something to witness...

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 22/08/2017 05:32

I think it's thoughtless of a group of 5 people to sit down one side of a communal table in a restaurant. No more thoughtless than all the singles or couples who sit at a table for 4 when there are 2-tops available though. This is just regular thoughtless/selfish people stuff. I think this sort of thing only gives mums a bad name because people like to judge every bloody thing mums do and put it down to them undeservedly thinking themselves special and not being prepared to suffer for the privilege of having kids.

Shadow666 · 22/08/2017 05:43

Ha, ha, I was imagining something Jeremy Kyle-style, hair extensions being pulled out, nappy bags being swung. Grin

MrsDustyBusty · 22/08/2017 06:08

Giving mums a bad name.

Women must always behave.

How is the epidemic of male violence not giving men a bad name?

Neutrogena · 22/08/2017 06:10

A bit YANBU, but who really cares?
Not much going on at the moment is there?

silentpool · 22/08/2017 06:12

I have faced this exact situation in Pret. I just sat down and started eating. Had there been any complaints, I would have told them that there was clearly plenty of space.

WingsofNylon · 22/08/2017 06:16

I too thought it was going to be about a fight. Perhaps over the last iced bun. Sigh.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 22/08/2017 06:22

How is the epidemic of male violence not giving men a bad name?

Umm... It has. Hmm

But this is nothing to do with them being female. OP mentioned they were mums, I am sure, to give us a picture and imply that they brought children with them.

Peachyking000 · 22/08/2017 06:50

If it was designed as a communal table and there were no other tables free, I would have sat down anyway. A bit like in Wagamamas I suppose

Bue · 22/08/2017 07:02

Well it looks like a communal table so people should just have sat down on the other side.

Somerford · 22/08/2017 07:09

Women must always behave

Agreed.

How is the epidemic of male violence not giving men a bad name?

It is.

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/08/2017 07:10

Being the OP mentioned they were mums and specifically asked "AIBU to think this was ... giving mothers a bad name?" so it's not just about setting the picture for us - the OP invites judgement on them as mothers, not just as people.

Original poster
TheClaws · 22/08/2017 08:02

I mentioned they were mothers (and Grans) because is it different from facing a table of rowdy teenagers, or men. I can't remember ever seeing anyone else doing this, in fact. The way they were planted there seemed to invite someone to challenge them. The kids were not particularly controlled either. Yes, I am happy to admit I am inviting judgement on them as mothers, not just as people, because it was bloody anti-social and not teaching their children anything reasonable.

OP posts:
anotherAnotherUsername · 22/08/2017 08:14

Maybe they were religious.

"I'd like a table for 26 ... no, there'll be 13 of us but we like to sit on one side!"

MrsDustyBusty

That's a pretty impressive attempt to derail a thread!

Five Mums in a row on a cafe table (diagram!)
KittyPuff · 22/08/2017 08:24

Grin @another that's going to the next level with the diagrams.

Original poster
TheClaws · 22/08/2017 08:39

Another Grin Well, replace the bread with doughnuts, wine with lattes and goblets with sippy cups and you're almost there...

OP posts:
hackmum · 22/08/2017 08:39

Obviously weird for everyone to sit down one side rather than facing each other. And unreasonable to stop other people sitting at the table when there are lots of empty chairs.

But giving mums a bad name? Come on. How can one instance of one group of people behaving in a less than ideal fashion tarnish the reputation of that entire category of human being?

Billben · 22/08/2017 08:43

Giving mums a bad name.

There were only mums and a grandmother at the table so that's what OP listed.

Hulababy · 22/08/2017 08:44

It's weird how they sat. Hardly conducive to having a chat together, unless maybe the ones either end don't like each other and have to be kept apart!