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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Londoners are v unfriendly

181 replies

maggieryan · 19/08/2017 14:55

I've moved over from Ireland to London. Big move and im very happy with my decision BUT finding people so unfriendly. Walk into a.shop and try to have a bit of chit chat and nothing., I tried talking to neighbours and barely any response.. Taximen barely speak where as in Dublin you cant shut them up.im not unlikable, plenty of friends and loads of family but maybe im just used to Dublin. Im only finding my feet so I probably need to give it time??

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 19/08/2017 14:58

It really depends on your area. Where I live it's almost like a village, but other parts are quite unfriendly in my experience. Maybe try seeing if there's a local Facebook group which may point you to friendlier shops etc.

userofthiswebsite · 19/08/2017 14:58

As a Londoner I'd be taken aback if some random person started chatting to me in a shop.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/08/2017 14:58

I miss how chatty Londoners are tbh, I always notice it when I go back to visit. Where about are you?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 19/08/2017 14:59

You have been unlucky people in London seem no less f

SunshineBearHug · 19/08/2017 15:00

Maybe try one of those meet up groups, make friends at work or school gates? I've never made friends in shops or taxis

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 19/08/2017 15:00

Butterfingers! Was going to say, no less friendly than other city dwellers ime.

Notknownatthisaddress · 19/08/2017 15:02

Let's be honest here, many people from London aren't actually 'Londonders.' Many have moved from other places. (And many 'Londoners' have moved away from London!)

The real genuine cockney folk/London folk are pretty OK, and pleasant enough.

That said, I do find people in the midlands and the North friendlier than the south/south east, and south west. (Not saying people in the south are not nice, just that I do find people further north more welcoming and friendly in general.)

Notknownatthisaddress · 19/08/2017 15:02

Let's be honest here, many people from London aren't actually 'Londoners.' Many have moved from other places. (And many 'Londoners' have moved away from London!)

The real genuine cockney folk/London folk are pretty OK, and pleasant enough.

That said, I do find people in the midlands and the North friendlier than the south/south east, and south west. (Not saying people in the south are not nice, just that I do find people further north more welcoming and friendly in general.)

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/08/2017 15:02

As a Londoner I'd be taken aback if some random person started chatting to me in a shop

Really? 3 people got involved in my purchase of Mag Sulph from the pharmacy in Sainsbury's last time I was there,by the end we'd practically swapped life stories and phone numbers!

LuLuuuuuuu · 19/08/2017 15:04

I am a Londoner OP and would be happy to speak to you . Could talk the hind legs off a donkey Grin

Following on from NotKnown post , I too find the Northern people friendly and amiable . Been to Yorkshire , Liverpool and Manchester and never been ignored when speaking .

LuLuuuuuuu · 19/08/2017 15:05

Born and Bred Londoner as were my parents, grandparents and the gt gt ones . Ironically the great great were one Scot and the others all Irish

somewhereovertherain · 19/08/2017 15:07

Wait till the get out to the country. Turn totally wankery. Nothing worse than some arse going oh we're from london you know. Really really no fucks given.

Miserable bunch of fuckers.

Original poster
maggieryan · 19/08/2017 15:07

usererofthiswebsite,would you really be taken back if someone talked to you in.a shop? In not talking a full blown deep conversation, more chait chat like "very warm" or "your baby is georgous" Theyre two things I said and I thought I said something offensive as they barely answered. Im delighted when people chat to me about my kids etc. Im probably just a chatterbox. I live in Camden?

OP posts:
ReallyRatherMiffed · 19/08/2017 15:12

Londoner here, born and raised, lived elsewhere in my youth so do have other places to compare it to!

I think 'unfriendly' is unfair to be honest, I've found that young professionals or those that have moved into London for work tend not to be as forth coming as in the main, they're time poor.

But, start a conversation with a real Londonder and you'd be hard pushed to shut them/me up to be honest!! Had a lengthly chat in the shop this morning with someone who starts a new job on Monday & the rest of her life story (and she knows most of mine!) but neither of us know each other from Adam! 🤣

As others have suggested, it might be where you're living that makes it seem unfriendly, try meetup, Facebook, twitter to find out what community groups/events are going on in your area.

And enjoy my beautifully ugly london 😁

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/08/2017 15:13

I think you'll get to a point where you won't actually care if someone replies or not OP, London makes you a bit 'don't carey' imo. You keep chatting, the world needs friendly people. A big move is a big thing, takes time to settle.Smile

Girlgoneglobal · 19/08/2017 15:14

I am about to prove your point.....

I am a Londoner born and bred and I am perfectly friendly in that I have lots of friends and chatty in that I am happy to have a chat. BUT, but when I am on a tube I am probably much happier in my own little world because it's the only couple of hours I get to myself to to have a bit of a read or think about things or decompress from the day before arriving home. Or pottering around a shop or having a coffee by myself - it's because I want to be by myself and I don't actually want to talk to anyone because it's 'me' time.

It irritates me (IABU) when people comment how Londoners are unfriendly on a tube - we are just for the main part enjoying the relative peace of having for an hour or two a day no demands from home or work and perhaps we don't actually want to swap life stories with a stranger. I just think you don't understand our lives. You may be on holiday (not you OP) but we are not.

In an emergency I bet you would find out how friendly and supportive we are.

dementedma · 19/08/2017 15:14

I always find the opposite. i travel to london a couple of times a year and find everyone so friendly and helpful. I always get lost and whoever i ask for help has gone out of their way to help me and been really kind. The guys working on the Tubes seem to have the patience of saints with wandering out of towners and I have never had a single problem.
Mind you, I live in Central Scotland.Any where would seem friendly compared to here...

PoppyPopcorn · 19/08/2017 15:17

Come to Glasgow, we'll talk to anyone. Very like the Irish in that respect.

And yes, when we're in London people are very unfriendly.

eggsandwich · 19/08/2017 15:18

From someone who use to live in London I agree, I now live in Norfolk and it takes me ages to go anywhere as random people stop and chat to you and talk to you like they've known you forever, which is really great living somewhere so friendly, though not when your pushed for time😁

Original poster
maggieryan · 19/08/2017 15:18

Ah no I wouldn't talk on the Tube. Thats different. Even I know thatSmile you all sound lovely btw. I might try join something. In only here a couple of weeks so hopefully ill just get used to it. Just feeling a bit lost at minute. Thank you

OP posts:
Peachyking000 · 19/08/2017 15:20

I find the opposite, and have always experienced friendly helpful people while staying in London. TBH I lived in Dublin for a few years, and I didn't find most Dubliners particularly friendly. Anywhere else in Ireland though, I have found v friendly.

FluffyMcCloud · 19/08/2017 15:20

I'm very unfriendly. I find people and small talk exhausting. My mother is the opposite and will strike up s conversation with anyone and everyone wherever we go. It's infuriating. I don't even enjoy talking to my actual friends a lot of the time (conversation is so draining) so no, is definitely not strike up a conversation with a stranger.

TSSDNCOP · 19/08/2017 15:21

Well I think if you were expecting it to be like Eastenders you'd be surprised. Also, some people might just be in their own bubble especially if it's commute time. But on the whole I find London a friendly place, especially when the chips are down.

ifcatscouldtalk · 19/08/2017 15:21

Live in the southeast but visit Yorkshire regularly. I've come to the conclusion you get v friendly & offish/rude people everywhere. One thing that can be said about London, you'll never get anyone question you in a pub as you don't sound like you come from "round these parts" and yes that has happened to me.