To think Londoners are v unfriendly

[maggieryan]

I've moved over from Ireland to London. Big move and im very happy with my decision BUT finding people so unfriendly. Walk into a.shop and try to have a bit of chit chat and nothing., I tried talking to neighbours and barely any response.. Taximen barely speak where as in Dublin you cant shut them up.im not unlikable, plenty of friends and loads of family but maybe im just used to Dublin. Im only finding my feet so I probably need to give it time??

You should've moved to Glasgow - you make three new pals just going for a piss in the pub.

I think that's just joggers Serin.

See, I will have offended some lovely joggers out there. It's all a sweeping generalisation, isn't it?

Lived in London for 30 years, grew up in the southeast. Love it here. But also love it in loads of other parts of the country. As a Londoner I'm always worried people will think of me as stuck up bloody southerner or whatever. But actually, I find most people lovely and friendly everywhere. And some exceptions everywhere.

I find my colleagues in London pretty unfriendly and dread having to go over there. They're not all London born - they come from all over the world though. Maybe they assimilate the unfriendliness!!

[Inner] London born & raised - but Irish descent & in an area with lots of other Irish; plus plenty of other cultures where it's usual to interact with strangers. Yesterday, just for example, heaps of people were chatting to people who'd got wee children at the GP surgery; then more chat when I was in the pharmacy; walking past the bus-stop overheard people chatting about weather & buses; & said hello to a few dogs & their owners as I walked home. Was out for a little over an hour, most of which I was in with my GP...

The whole "Londoners are so unfriendly!" thing is really quite tiresome. Am sure some Londoners are. The same way there are people everywhere who are, what with people being individuals... And there are times I'll not be on for a chat - with the size of the city and unreliability of the public transport network people are often in a mad rush to get places & they've no time to talk. Plenty of people are very friendly though -
I live somewhere it's normal to know your neighbours, for example.

I hope you settle in soon. Have you hobbies/interests you could look for groups to join? Types of volunteering you might enjoy?

London is too big a place to make sweeping statements about the people who live there. There are lots and lots of friendly people there, I promise!

My dad is a Londoner. And he had a green badge. He's v friendly and chatty. Yabu.

It has taken my Londoner fella years to get used to the chit chat in the shop, on the bus, in the doctors sort of thing we do in Yorkshire. Me? Love going further North where I find people friendlier. And yes to actually finding a Londoner in London - there aren't that many about, or so it seems. Having known a few people from here who moved down there maybe that's why they moved - so they don't have to have random conversations on the bus

Not all 'Londoners' speak English (massive understatement!)

I've usually found that real Londoners are friendly but it's such a big place you can't generalise really.

Village life is the worst though, you're not accepted until your family has lived there for four generations or so...

I can't normally shut a cabbie up so not sure what's gone on there.

These days I think a typical Londoner is someone born and bred and people who have moved here and integrated somewhat. A friend's son was regaling me with his heritage one day - American parents from Jewish, Italian and West Indian descent. I said to him " so you're a Londoner", I wouldn't call his parents Londoners though. My Irish cousin and his wife lived here for about 10 years and, when they moved back to Ireland, went to live in Dublin, not the town where they grew up. They've been there now about 10 years too and they still say that when they lived here they were considered and felt like Londoners but it doesn't matter how long they live in Dublin, they will never be considered Dubliners by the natives. Being a Londoner hasn't got much to do with being English but you can be iyswim

I'm Irish and lived in London for eight years. Yes, you're going to find it different and downright rude compared to social norms in Ireland. In my hometown, you personally say hello and goodbye to everyone on the bus. Compare that to the tube.

It's to do with cultural norms, but also the pace of life in London. Everyone's in a rush, they just don't have the bandwidth for interacting with strangers. The tube is an oasis for people where all they want to do is bury themselves in their phone/kindle and switch off for 20 mins.

You'll get used to it.

I am sick of reading that we are all in a rush. We aren't always, many of us manage to lead quiet, relaxed lives, believe me! And I often have plenty of time to chat.

Davros thats very funny. I was wondering that too, why does everyone keep talking about being in.a rush. Where is every one rushing to?if they added more time to get to destination or got up earlier would they still be in a rush I probably am generalizing so apologies. Thanks for offer of a meet up to one poster. Im not actually lonely, im herrle with three kids and husband and about to start in a new job next week. Suppose its just a bit of culture shock. Ill get used to it and probably will settle. I am very excited to be living here and dont miss home at all (apart from the chit chat)

As a South of the River Londoner who hasn't lived in the UK for nearly 30 years, I would just like to share something I find extremely cheering every week. It is so London it's not true!
Word on the Street
But to be honest, I never found people particularly friendly in London. When I lived in Clapham, my next door neighbours barely said hello. I find the South West much more welcoming, in my experience of Bristol, Bath and Exeter. So I'm none too optimistic for you, OP - but would reiterate finding a local group to join so you can meet people.

I was born in London and lived there until my 40's. Lived in a couple of different places, North and South London. I found on the whole my neighbours were friendly and I would talk to people in the street, in shops etc.

I now live in Essex and have lived in the same house for 13 years. I barely know my neighbours. All different ages but not particularly friendly. I do talk to a lot of people on the bus, in shops, walking my dog etc.

Me and DH go to London at least once a month and we talk to people quite a bit - tubes, buses, cafes, pubs etc

I'm also from Ireland but lived in London for years a long time ago.
I go back to visit regularly and always find people to be pretty friendly especially in the last year or two.
We stayed in Islington last week and I was amazed at how friendly all the staff were both in shops and restaurants. Took about 4 taxis and all the drivers were very chatty .
I didn't try to strike up conversations with people on the street etc though.

When the Camden MN meet up is arranged, I might find time from my rushing to attend

why do you find it rude? I'm honestly really interested, having grown up in a place where it would be very rude not to say something. I understand why people in e.g. London don't have time or can't be bothered to chat, but I don't get why people find it rude if someone utters what's meant to be a friendly pleasantry to them.

Because I don't know them, and I don't want to know them. I don't want to make chit chat with someone I don't know for X amount of time.

I find it rude because I feel they are encroaching on my time, my space. I find it more rude when they persist after I've made it clear I'm not interested.

I am aware the majority don't think it's rude, but I can't help the fact that I do think it's rude.

Londoners live in a big city. We are sometimes busy, sometimes craving anonymity and sometimes wary of strangers. If we don't answer you in paragraphs and more like in grunts, please don't take it personally. We just aren't up for small talk today.

Londoners are friendly, but it's all about the right situation.

Do not talk to us on the tube - just don't. Unless you're quite clearly a tourist and lost and you think you're going the wrong way. In which case, we will assess your travel plans and give you clear directions for getting off at the next station, changing platform and getting onto the correct line. We will even smile. We do make exceptions for tourists in trouble, but the general rule is, no talking on the tube unless you're talking to someone you actually know.

Do not talk to us on the street. We will assume you are asking for money or about to attack us. Nothing good comes from being approached on the street. Again, exceptions are made for distressed tourists.

With that said... I know all of my neighbours. We will take in parcels for each other and so on. I do various activities. I know people there. I will talk to strangers to be friendly, because that's an approved space in which conversation can happen. Get us in the right situation and you'll see how friendly Londoners can be.

PS Have you found the London Irish Centre yet? It's in Camden, so right on your doorstep.

I saw the Pogues at the London Irish centre many years ago (nostalgic)

It's definitely different - I've just moved down from Yorkshire.
They're not unfriendly it's just the culture - my DP is horrified if I speak to people on the tube - I just do it anyway.
Londoners are friendly when you know them but there is certainly less camaraderie between strangers. Just be yourself and push on through ( don't make people uncomfortable though) I find some people are perfectly happy to chat and others not - just like anywhere else.

I lived in London for 10 years. I'm originally from Manchester and moved back to Manchester 7 years ago (after living in London for 10 years)

I got accustomed to London life. When I moved back to Manchester, it took me by surprise how friendly people were.

It's just a slower pace to life up here. I don't hold anything against people in London for how they are. It's just the way it is down there. But I will say one thing. Take anyone out of that fast-paced environment and they will interact as much as the next person. They will be as friendly as the next.

Maggie I'm assuming that you mean "Londoners" as in people in London rather than poeple born in London. I got pulled up on that when I moved here (13 years ago). But some of the loveliest friends I've made have been real Londoners. I've found it less acceptable here just to pass a random comment in the supermarket. Older people are often delighted though.

I found it really hard to make a social group for myself when I first moved here and really having kids suddenly opened a new world for me. It is very different to home but there are lots and lots of positives.

If you are feeling homesick the Irish Centre in Camden do a number of events including a monthly Irish language playgroup (there's a Facebook page).
We live a bit further out but will be at the zoo next week. PM me you'd like to have a bit of a picnic and chat in Regents Park

Londoner born and bred here and I don't really want a conversation with random people in the shop/on the bus or wherever. If that makes me "v unfriendly" then OK but I have other things to do.