To think Londoners are v unfriendly

[maggieryan]

I've moved over from Ireland to London. Big move and im very happy with my decision BUT finding people so unfriendly. Walk into a.shop and try to have a bit of chit chat and nothing., I tried talking to neighbours and barely any response.. Taximen barely speak where as in Dublin you cant shut them up.im not unlikable, plenty of friends and loads of family but maybe im just used to Dublin. Im only finding my feet so I probably need to give it time??

When you say taxi drivers don't want to chat do you mean Uber drivers or cabbies? All the black cabbies I use will chat for the whole journey once you start, once they've waited to see if you want to talk or not.

That's because people in London are rarely from London.

Take a random group of 10 people in London. I think you'd be hard pushed to find at least one "proper" Londoner in that group. In Ireland, take 10 people and the majority of them will be locals.

Most Londoners I know have left.

*would you really be taken back if someone talked to you in.a shop? In not talking a full blown deep conversation, more chait chat like "very warm" or "your baby is georgous"

I don't live in London but I hate strangers talking to me like this; I find it incredibly rude. I always brush them off (as politely as possible, mind).

Big City people don't talk so much, I don't think it's particular to London.

That said everyone round here is very friendly - neighbours, shopkeepers etc. I find if you chat to taxi drivers they chat back. Not many of my local mini cab drivers are English.

Maybe you just need time
I know my neighbours, have done in a few London boroughs, find people too chatty at times, and cabbies always tell their life story or discuss a news story.
I've never lived as close to central as you are though but doubt it makes a difference?
I'd give it time anyway.

I'm an introvert and feel a bit uncomfortable talking to complete strangers. I would hate living in a small village where everyone knew your business, I like the relative anonymity of big cities. Plenty of people are friendly, judging by this thread. I wouldn't say I'm unfriendly, though, just uncomfortable around complete strangers.

It partly depends on the area of London. The more transient the population, the less people make an effort to connect.
We lived in one place where the neighbours resisted eye contact let alone conversation. Where we are now, I have lots of random chats. Having a dog is a great icebreaker too.

I live in the North but visit DD & family in London a lot. I expected to find people unfriendly but have found the opposite. Total strangers on the underground helping me work out which line I needed when I was really confused, people chatting on buses and in shops when I take DGD out in her buggy. Other mums/grandparents chatting to me in the playground and staff in cafes and restaurants really kind and helpful . Just as friendly as the people in the city I live in up north. I can't see much difference .

I've been in tube stations with a baby in a sling and luggage and had a TfL worker go literally out of his way down a huge escalator with my luggage without my having asked and a busy-looking lady be lovely and help me too. I've had people offering my dc - although they were old and healthy enough to stand - seats on the tube more than once. My general impression of Londoners is that they're lovely. But I think there's a difference between that kind of friendliness - as in consideration and willingness to help - and the kind you mean - willingess to stop and chat. And I do think that's less of a big-city thing. (And although I was brought up in a village and now live in the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone, I'm an urbanite at heart and loved the relative anonymity of the big city).

In London I think you need to specifically introduce yourself to neighbours. So many people come and go.

I've never lived in London or Dublin, but I've always found real Londoners very cheery and friendly. Many people who live in the home counties are much less so, at least the ones I've had dealings with (quite a few).

Dublin seemed friendly enough when I was there on holiday, but not more so than Glaswegians, for example.

Next time I'm in London how do I spot a 'real' Londoner? They should really wear ID badges so proper anthropological studies can be carried out.

'That man was very rude to me but his badge said 'originally from Ipswich' so we won't hold that against London'.

Ah well it's Camden. People are far too cool to talk to others unless it's about a band nobody has heard of or alternative comedy or trying to sell you drugs
(I lived right in the centre of Camden Town for a while)
People are friendly but living in a big crowded city tends to mean that you create a little private bubble around yourself otherwise it can be overwhelming.

whattodo why do you find it rude? I'm honestly really interested, having grown up in a place where it would be very rude not to say something. I understand why people in e.g. London don't have time or can't be bothered to chat, but I don't get why people find it rude if someone utters what's meant to be a friendly pleasantry to them.

Sometimes even after twenty years and definitely having learned the london way, I felt like there was a social code I didn't understand, which is why we moved back to Ireland rather than to a naice village - neither of us are from the south east or England and after reading a thread about pretty towns and villages where everyone is unfriendly i was just too scared to risk it. Everyone might have been like 'oh god, there's those bloody strangers who keep going round TALKING. TO. EVERYONE!!!'

I do agree though that most Londoners are friendly and helpful with buggies and things, they might just not burst into long chats while they do it

The most unfriendly place I ever lived was Edinburgh, followed by Paris, but I find Londoners really friendly.

I'm not a Londoner by birth - I grew up in the sticks - but have lived heremore than 20 years and absolutely love it.

I'm in the Glasgow area and always get a huge shock whenever I go to London. I love the city, but yes, I do find it very unfriendly on the surface compared to Scotland at times. Just a culture difference, I suppose? In Scotland, people make eye contact, return smiles, strike up conversations, have great banter, will hold doors open for you if they see you coming up behind them, etc.

The last time I was in London, I'd been in the city all of about three minutes before the first door was practically smashed into my face by an oblivious suit. Now as a Glaswegian, I had zero qualms about shouting after him for said offense. It was rude. I don't care how fucking busy you are, manners cost nothing. And this is where the difference is. See, as a Londoner, he had the audacity to look affronted at being called a wee fanny, whereas a Glaswegian would have taken it on the chin and accepted he had, in fact, been a wee fanny

Most people living in London were not born there, It's very multi cultural so you can't really say 'Londoners are unfriendly' because London is made up of people from all over the UK/ Europe/ the world.
It's not the London of the 50's & 60's.

I married a Londoner...He is friendly enough

I've always found folk to be helpful and polite EXCEPT the bloody joggers.
Women jogger on Southbank a couple of weeks ago, running though crowds with arm outstretched literally pushing people out of her way and yelling "Move" every 5 seconds.

I am from London. I will help anyone with suitcases, buggies, give up a seat for someone who needs it, hold open doors, say please and thank you, etc. And I've found other people in London to be the same (no idea where they're all from).

I moved to a much smaller place where everyone prided themselves on being 'friendly'. Actually, they were just bloody nosy. They'd be 'friendly' and helpful in order to get the gossip and an hour later it would be all round the village. Someone would 'help' you with a suitcase and then gossip to everyone else about how you had enough money to her off skiing. Or 'help' you with the buggy then comment to other people that your husband was nowhere to be seen. It was awful and we moved to a city again after a few years of living under a 'friendly' microscope.

would you really be taken back if someone talked to you in.a shop? In not talking a full blown deep conversation, more chait chat like "very warm" or "your baby is georgous"

I don't live in London but I hate strangers talking to me like this; I find it incredibly rude. I always brush them off (as politely as possible, mind)

I speak to strangers in shops or café and strangers speak to me. I don't find it rude or odd. I live in Edinburgh but am regularly in London. I don't find the population of either city unfriendly.

I lived there for 10 years, I agree with you OP

Londoners are really friendly. Just not in shops generally. Try striking up a conversation in a park, or on the tube - many people are lovely then!

Wait till the get out to the country. Turn totally wankery. Nothing worse than some arse going oh we're from london you know. Really really no fucks given

Miserable bunch of fuckers

Ha ha. I ran a bar/restaurant abroad and had been chatting away to a group of northerners (2 families) for quite a while before one of them asked where I was from in the UK. When I said London the atmosphere and their faces immediately changed and after some silence one of them tried to breezily say, "oh well, er, nevermind". I burst out laughing.

Chippy fucking twats.

I grew up in the middle of the countryside (related to all and sundry) and when I came to London I did find it funny how if I was on the heath and smiled at a dog walker they wouldn't smile back and looked a little confused. I always felt I was a bit like Crocodile Dundee in New York saying g'day to everyone. But actually where I live now in London is actually very smiley. If I smile at people in the high street near my flat they will smile back.

However, I like the anonymity of a big city and actually don't like the fact that people recognise me where I live now but then I'm an introvert and prefer to be able to go out without people trying to talk to me. Sadly I seem to have the opposite effect and people often want to talk to me (particularly on the bus when I can't escape). So I actually find London more friendly than where I grew up which was quite averse to difference of any kind.

I think once you're there a while and people start to recognise you it might get easier. Also, there will be 'locals' ie those who are there long term and then those who move on pretty quickly and are not invested in making conversation or building connections so it depends who you're talking to.

As for cabbies, I actually avoid them unless absolutely necessary because they always want to talk to me and I prefer to day dream but don't want to be rude!

I imagine it's a culture shock - it certainly was for me and took 3 years to acclimatise (though I am a slow adapter) so give it time. Underneath people are pretty similar the world over, it's just that culture means they present it differently.