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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mortified - AIBU to never go back?

82 replies

killinemnow · 14/08/2017 17:39

Horror.

I was 19 stone. Am now 15. Obviously, I'm still a whopper. (Am 5'2.)

But I have still lost 4 stone. So I feel a lot lighter than I was. And so at a real push to get skinny - or OK a healthy weight - before Christmas I joined a gym.

Today someone came up to me and said in hushed tones "We admire you so much, honestly, don't feel self conscious, well done!"

Blush

I DIDN'T feel self conscious.

NOW, I do!

I know, I know they were trying to be nice and all but I am horrified.

OP posts:
PaintingOwls · 14/08/2017 17:41

Why are you horrified?

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2017 17:42

Clumsily put, but as you say they were just trying to be nice.

I'm not sure it's 'horror' worthy, but yes definitely awkward.

Well done on the weight loss so far Thanks

saoirse31 · 14/08/2017 17:42

Ignore, ignore and thank god you're not either a nasty bitch like her or a complete gobdaw like her!!

saoirse31 · 14/08/2017 17:42

And congrats

ClemDanfango · 14/08/2017 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumof56 · 14/08/2017 17:43

All she was saying is well done, she has admired your hard work and determination. YUBU not to go back.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2017 17:44

Blimey, bit of an over reaction there saoirse31

I don't suppose there's any chance in your mind, that it might just have been a clumsily put compliment? Confused

PantPlot · 14/08/2017 17:46

But the woman doesn't know that OP has already lost 4st (does she?)

So she was 'congratulating' OP for being brave enough to join a gym at the size she is now, totally deflating the OP's balloon!

I get that she was probably trying to be nice but yeah...don't do that.

yorkshapudding · 14/08/2017 17:47

Whoever said that to you is the one who should be embarrassed. They're obviously very socially awkward! Don't let it stop you going back.

StormTreader · 14/08/2017 17:47

I totally get where you're coming from OP, and I really wish people wouldnt do those kinds of "well meaning" things.

It takes so much to gear yourself up to go with "don't feel self-conscious, no-one is paying you any attention anyway" and then comments like that make it obvious that actually people HAVE been looking and judging you, even if the judgement is "well done!"

My advice is try and pretend it just didn't happen, and try and make yourself go back - don't let embarrassment stop you from going back because it sounds like you really ARE doing incredibly well.

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/08/2017 17:47

They were very ignorant and rude! You should have said back "And I admire people like you...not letting that THING bother you!" and smiled gently...

They'd have wondered what the "thing" was forever!

Ilovefraybentos · 14/08/2017 17:47

It's awkward that they mentioned it but people will notice a massive weight loss on someone they see regularly at the gym. I wouldn't feel too embarrassed.

Original poster
killinemnow · 14/08/2017 17:50

I've only just started going to the gym, so they haven't noticed a big weight loss. Being totally candid, you can't really tell anyway. I can tell, because my old size 24s (Blush) were swamping me and I am now a size 18 which is so much better as it's more mainstream in shops, but I recognise I was fat, I still am fat!

But I was just quietly exercising and people have been looking at me and discussing me and I am mortified!

OP posts:
StormTreader · 14/08/2017 17:51

Its the "we" that really makes that painful :/

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2017 17:52

They were trying to be nice in a really dumb way, but don't let it stop you for a second. You have made AMAZING progress! Don't let some well meaning yet clumsy comment derail your efforts. Laugh it off and get back to the gym!

Mumof56 · 14/08/2017 17:52

You joined before Christmas and only started going now Confused

Original poster
killinemnow · 14/08/2017 17:53

I know! Shock

OP posts:
NoFucksImAQueen · 14/08/2017 17:53

You joined before Christmas and only started going now 
No she joined to lose more weight before this Christmas

PantPlot · 14/08/2017 17:53

You joined before Christmas and only started going now

I think she wants to get to a healthy weight before Christmas Hmm

NoFucksImAQueen · 14/08/2017 17:53

Oh wow no I was wrong

NoFucksImAQueen · 14/08/2017 17:54

Oh no now I don't know. Was that meant to be a strike through op?

Original poster
killinemnow · 14/08/2017 17:54

No, Mum I missed out a comma

In an attempt to get skinny before Christmas, I joined a gym.

I know punctuation can be vital to understanding but I don't think it was there!

Thanks Aqua, I do sort of see the funny side but I am genuinely horrified too!

OP posts:
Pestilentialone · 14/08/2017 17:54

Its the "we" that really makes that painful that is either the royal we or the prattish we.
You are whopper heading towards slim, they are a prat heading towards prat.

Mediumred · 14/08/2017 17:55

They might have noticed the OP when she was bigger and be complimenting her on her weight loss, I'm sure it was kindly meant if a bit clumsy. I remember reading a piece by Jay Rayner when he was losing weight at the gym and one of the staff whispered to him that 'we call you the melting man'. It seemed poetic, and ever so slightly spooky!

Ilovefraybentos · 14/08/2017 17:56

Ah, that does make it more awkward!