To be mortified - AIBU to never go back?

[killinemnow]

Horror.

I was 19 stone. Am now 15. Obviously, I'm still a whopper. (Am 5'2.)

But I have still lost 4 stone. So I feel a lot lighter than I was. And so at a real push to get skinny - or OK a healthy weight - before Christmas I joined a gym.

Today someone came up to me and said in hushed tones "We admire you so much, honestly, don't feel self conscious, well done!"

I DIDN'T feel self conscious.

NOW, I do!

I know, I know they were trying to be nice and all but I am horrified.

So how do you know that she hasn't also lost a lot of weight , that she was trying to be reassuring ?

Because she didn't say so. She felt it acceptable to comment on OP's body, she said nothing about her own?

I understand where you're coming from because I've lost 3stone and 2 people I barely know at work have commented about how I've "lost a lot of weight" and am "smaller now"

• it's nice & a compliment BUT I realise that they must have thought I was quite fat before!

Keep up the gym though OP as it's really worth it!

I often see really big people at the gym and want to tell them how inspiring they are but I don't - because it would be like saying "you're really fat so it's good to see you here!". Obviously that's not the way it's meant but that's the way it would come across.

Well the woman at the gym was either catty or has a diplomacy bypass (I suspect the latter), either way that's going to be much harder for her to put right than it's going to be for you to put your weight right and you've already made amazing inroads having lost 4 st. I'm impressed and a bit envious as I can't get my act together on that one. Please don't let her comment stop you

I think they meant it in a nice way and just suffered a bit from foot-in-gob syndrome. To me, the key point is that they said it quietly and privately to you, they didn't announce it to the whole gym so they could be admired for complimenting the fat girl... I am at least the size you used to be and the thought of the gym terrifies me.

I used to really enjoy it and I was doing quite well, I used to go three times a week with DH but then some bitches decided to announce to the whole room that he stank and to keep away from them and he got so embarrassed that he wouldn't go back. I mean, person in gym gets a bit sweaty, it's hardly time to alert the press. It was fresh sweat iyswim so not stinky and he was wiping down the equipment after using it like the rules said, they were just being bitchy twats.

Apologies, I've gone off on a ranty tangent. A rantgent.

Well done for your hard work. Please don't give up.

How busy that meant nicely?

OP keep it up and fuck the haters.

No idea where busy came from? Meant how can that be meant nicely.