What are your family in-jokes?

[bumblebee50]

This is not an AIBU and is meant to be lighthearted. I am just back from holiday and only took one pair of pyjamas. I asked my DH if he had a spare t-shirt I could wear and he gave me one telling me it made him look a bit "Kenneth". I got the reference straight away. Anyone else hazard a guess as to what he meant? Also what are your family in-jokes that no-one else would understand? My children called their tonsils their rileys for many years and I've no idea why.

We have many, some funnier than others. At the moment, following a weekend at a festival where we bought tickets to the 'la-di-da loo' facilities, we've been using my son's preferred term of art 'stopping in at the lardy-dardy' to describe any trip to the toilet.

This morning at her holiday club my daughter is trying out fencing. As she told my dad what she'd be doing, I knew word-for-word what his 'hilarious' observation was going to be (preventing escaping cattle etc.). It was pretty much the same one he gave to me when I joined school fencing club in 1991.

Something relating to Kenneth Williams? I suppose our in jokes are the fact my brothers are 'home grown' and myself and my sister are 'second hand' myself and my sister are adopted.

Whenever someone's full name appears on the news, for example, and that name could be linked to something else, we always say 'I know his brother' we can spend ages thinking of other brothers and sisters names. I'm not explaining it very well, something like this...

Mr Patrick Cake, would then have brothers called, Fairy Cake, Carrot Cake, the list can go on and on. Alan Sugar has loads of brothers!!

Took my husband years and years to cotton on!!

"The Murphy's are out" whenever we see Roadworks. That one's at least 30 years old.

Pourmeaglass

Love it!

A recent one, borne out of a mutual cynicism about the Mandela effect, is to deny all knowledge of something by saying, with a raised eyebrow "That didn't happen in my timeline"

You said you'd cook tonight
That didn't happen in my timeline...

Kenneth is definately a Benidorm reference.

Me and DH try to convince each other that really random shit is true.

If the person asks "seriously?" then the person doing the convincing wins.

This means that these lies can go on for months because although you might know it's not true, you lose if you ask.

DH is currently "convinced" that Nicholas Cage changes the date of his birthday every year and announces on the 1st January when his birthday will come that year.

I'm currently "convinced" that DH used to go to school with a German kid called Hans who has gone on to own a massive combine harvester empire

I always tell my husband a story about a lesbian dinosaur (lickoloatpuss) but start it every time in such a way that he doesn't know he's getting the story until it's too late.

We also use the phrase 'sausages for tea' whenever anything happens that is a bit awkward or uncomfortable. Because once my (very British) dad came round and mistook a packet of maternity pads for a packet of sausages, he took them out the bag and went 'oooo sausages for tea' realised what they are then instantly dropped them and went and hid in the fridge. It was very funny!

Your reference to Kenneth reminds me of mine and DH's in joke.

So in the programme Peep Show, a character (Mark) buys a massive dildo and calls it Kenneth. Then someone asks "Who's Kenneth?" and another character (Jez) replies "Kenneth is his nine inch dildo".

Whenever anyone IRL or on TV asks who someone is, me and DH reply "[Insert name] is his nine inch dildo"

Mandraki That really made me LOL. How exactly do you mistake pads for sausages? What is up with your nuclear sausages? Or pads?

Anyone going to the loo gets called a weebag and if you're the one going then you should announce that you are the weebag.

My boyfriend and I have a few jokes about a crab which somehow only attacks him. Also when we went to Venice the boat stop we stayed at was called Palanka which sounds like plonker so anyone doing anything silly gets called a palanka now.

Boogle Fencing in my household meant trading stolen goods so when I was at school doing fencing lessons my Dad used to enquire if I could get him a new watch

When our youngest son says "I need some heeeeelp" (putting socks on etc.) I will respond with, "I'd better call the psychiatrist then." Will backfire if we ever do need to get him some MH help.

Recently our 14 year old mentioned the M&Ms advert where the wife has the M&M in the bed and the husband comes home early. He took it a step beyond eating the M&M, asking if having sex with a giant M&M would be beastiality or something else... we don't know. But now I refer, in private, to 'taking my M&M to bed'.

We have all sorts of other in-jokes too, also do name links on TV like pp etc.

Most of ours are references to ancient TV shows..meaning when I was growing up, I didn't get half of them until I consulted youtube!

Like when fish is mentioned, one of us has to go fiiiish like The Cat from Red Dwarf.

And the phrase "it's got our/your name on it" has to be followed with whiicks.

Having gin- 'having fun ' all down to my mums typo once. Cracks me up every time,
Also saying 'strang' instead of strange,
My dad asking if anyone wants a naan bread while having curry cause soon there will be 'naan left'
Ahhh gets me every time 😂😂

Mostly things that the boys have said wrong when they were little that have stuck.

Macaroni penguin...Mac and cheese penguin

Prosciutto...pro-sqwee-toe

If they go swimming they're sent on their way with a cheery "DGW" meaning don't get wet. No idea how that started...

SuziQuattro I think he just saw vaguely square packet in an Asda bag and assumed sausages, I'm not sure why! The look of horror on his face was the best!

When someone is cheeky/rude/offensive/asking the impossible:
'I think not, baby puppy'. In a Russian accent, obv.

When I was about 10, a man came door to door flogging those aerial pictures of your house.

I only have to say "I'm from DON-CAS-TER" to my dad now and he starts laughing while everyone else looks very confused

Benidorm Kenneth? 😂

Me and dp have an imaginary dog (no time for a real one) he has a name and we make up anecdotes about what he's up to. For example if I'm cooking bacon I'll say 'aw the dog is staring at the grill in utter excitement' when we go on a journey he has his outdoors hat on and head out car window 😂 we're possibly just nuts:

My LO loves the kids programme Octonauts. It's on A LOT. We now refer to going to the toiket as 'opening the Octonauts hatch', which is a term used on the programme.

Whenever someone says wind (as in, "there's a strong wind blowing") someone else will say "it's pronounced wind" (as in "wind the bobbin up") and vice versa. Hours of hilarity.

Also, whenever me and DP put friends on the TV we say "Shall we watch friends" to which the other person must reply "Oh yes, it might be one we've not seen before"

Our family has an imaginary Uncle Roger who is our explanation for many things. Made too much dinner = I've cooked for Uncle Roger; everyone hanging around waiting for everyone else to be ready = waiting for Uncle Roger; not sure who's in the bathroom = Uncle Roger's in there, etc. Sometimes he's the one who left the milk out or forgot to get bread or whatever. He's very useful.

When I was little and asked what was for dinner, my mum always said Wait And See, which morphed into WAS.

It is now a family joke for us too. If they ask what is for dinner I just say WAS and then dcs start naming things it could be

Waterhogs and Slime
Wet bread and Sausages
Watermelon and Sugar
Walnuts and snails

visiting friends sometimes lok a bit concerned