What are your family in-jokes?

[bumblebee50]

This is not an AIBU and is meant to be lighthearted. I am just back from holiday and only took one pair of pyjamas. I asked my DH if he had a spare t-shirt I could wear and he gave me one telling me it made him look a bit "Kenneth". I got the reference straight away. Anyone else hazard a guess as to what he meant? Also what are your family in-jokes that no-one else would understand? My children called their tonsils their rileys for many years and I've no idea why.

My best friend and I - "Yes I heard you, but I thought I was having a premonition."

This comes from the time she was standing on a toilet to close a window at work and she fell off. The only person who heard her shouting for help didn't go to investigate because she thought she was having a premonition. Of what, we do not know, but now if either of us has to repeat ourselves for any reason the other one replies with this.

If anyone asks for something we have run out of - biscuits for example -- then the reply is "There is no biscuits, only Roy" from that film with Edward Norton.

"It's for you Bob" whenever one of us answers the phone and it's for someone else in the house. It's from a book of DS's and it just sort of caught on.

"Thanks Satan" - from Wreck It Ralph, whenever we need to say thank you for something.

"Cake or Death" when offering a choice of some sort.

I'm terrible for this sort of thing - DH goes along with it but clearly wasn't the norm in his family / friendships. Most of mine from telly or films too.
'Making time' when speeding on the motorway (Withnail)
'Squish squish' when anyone is crying (Ab Fab)
'Don look at me!' In crap Spanish accent when showing off new lipstick or frock (Smack the Pony?)
'Cheese eating surrender monkeys' when referring to the French
'It's boring but it's my life' when boasting (Anchorman)
Pawn caca when enjoying a Chinese takeaway (French and Saunders)

I make myself laff

DH and I also do the word association with names that crop up on telly.

When we are watching TV and see a really beautiful home/garden/car etc. one of us will always say "shit car", "shit kitchen", "shit holiday" etc.

If anybody ever tells me they've had a haircut, I always ask "which one?" My whole family do this now, Dad started it!

pasta is and will forever be called pastard which my cute 2yr old nephew used to call pasta - he's 22 now.
Ribena is riderbeana.
If someone is telling a long, boring story someone will shout "what a funny story" from Alan Partridge.
We do a lot of league of gentlemen.
We take a waz in the whizz palace when we go to the loo.
If someone's dressed up they are told " they could be an air hostess is the 80s or a part time model" Flight of the conchords.
A lot of telly quotes.

It was a Benidorm Kenneth reference - I love in-jokes that no one else gets best though.

"I’ve got a to-do list here that’s longer than a fucking Leonard Cohen song." is one me and DP say to each other when we're busy!

Me and my Dad love our grub and when we go out or eat over one another's homes, half-way through eating, he'll hold up a number of fingers approvingly. The fingers denote how many arse-holes he'll need after scoffing so much of the good grub.

somehow it's a compliment

It's never something I'd explain in RL tbh because I'm certain folk would edge away from us, muttering.

If someone or somewhere is a bit "local" any League of Gentlemen fans will understand.

We use it a lot since we moved It's very much a local place, full of local people.

Last year's Christmas lunch he held up 5 fingers, nodding and grinning.

Unheard of!

My mother and I say "Did you do a bolster?" to refer to a faux pas. It comes from the time we visited relatives, and mother was for some reason expounding her view that bolsters are terribly old fashioned. Later she goes upstairs to use the loo, and sees bolsters on every bed!

"Doing a bolster".

Anal sex was "Paddington" after we misremembered a Fast Show ? public information film. Whenever we remotely went near it ir , or even saw it on the front of the no.30, much covert bleeding obvious snickering went on. XDH and then DP woukd then ask if we were going to Paffinhton. I'd laugh. And then say no. Until I didn't say no I'm an oversharer so I will save that for another thread.
Speaking of oversharing, i sometimes have to physically check nyself from shouting out "Bag of shite" whenever I am indeed holding a bag of shite. Baby years were a trial and then I got a dog. You can imagine.

Some of these are very funny. Good thread Op.

Fuck.massve typo fail. Should read Paddington.obviously

We have loads
Instead of asking pardon when you don't catch something it's "something about chicken?" Due to me clearly not hearing/paying attention to DH once and it's stuck.

Whenever my dad goes out anywhere we always ask if it's to see Geraldine, as kids me and my siblings convinced our late Gran that he was dating a jailbird named Geraldine and sees her often in the clink on his deliveries (postman) she believed it for years, even writing her Christmas cards. Bless her soul 😂
There's plenty more where we make up days events to see if we are listening to each other etc

My DP and I have have a few. My favourite has to be "going for coffee. Just you and me.". He has a sporadic habit of sleep talking. It was about 5 in the morning. He turns in his sleep and loudly announces that he wants to take me for coffee. "Just you and me". I woke him up laughing.

Five fish! I'll be rich!

In my family if you feel really ill and full of flu you feel Beardsley. As in, you feel how Peter Beardsley looks.

We have many other weird things that I can't remember right now

Best friend and I were bunking off college many moons ago, when the phone rang at her house. Caller left a hilariously slow and needlessly long message, which we can still remember word for word- which we randomly break into...very regularly.

The caller's name was akin to Mavis, and went a bit like this 'Hello, this is Maaaaaaaavis. I tried calling on the mobile, but (extremely long pause) it doesn't seem to be weeeeerkin...' etc etc. Now many of our friends and family know it by heart too, and we all just sit there and say the whole message in unison. If only Mavis knew....

suziequattro me and husband have the exact same game. I had him going for years that David Bowie owned the rights to connect four. When he died he wondered aloud whether the rights would go to his son or the manufacturer

WelshMoth

DP measures the quality of a film by how many times he needs to go the toilet. E.g. Titanic was a 5 piss picture (not a good rating), Con Air was a 1 piss picture (very good).

He swears he got this system out of a book.

Cao we have similar to 'doing a bolster' but ours is 'doing a Stanley'.

Woman I met had a newborn baby with her and told my mum he was called Stanley. I chipped in with 'oh my budgie was called Stanley but he's dead now'. Everyone just stopped and looked at me like

I'd like to say I was a young child but I was 26 at the time.

NC because my DD is on here and will recognise them. Ours are mainly from my DH

If anyone says "I'm hungry" he always says "hello I'm daddy".

If we're having chicken for dinner it's always "can't eat chicken it's foul" (fowl)

Soup is always "can't have schloup, I'm bored of schloup, it's always schloup for supper!"

Me and my sister have a habit of shouting "NOW" at the top of our voices at random moments (bonus points if you make the other jump) and and the other has to explain what ransom musings were running through their head at exactly that moment. You get to know someone in a weird way doing this

The correct answer to the question "how are you" is always "abused and neglected".

Work is "the place of evil and torture" regardless of whether you like your job or not.

Whenever one of us is putting the world to rights the other one will say "and there'll be no butter in hell!!!"

Whenever I'm having a little strop about something trivial dh will pipe up "and Christmas is cancelled!". That's after I got in a ridiculous strop over something on Christmas eve and threatened to cancel Christmas dinner.

Whenever my mum or I do anything daft, my dad will raise his eyebrows and say "it's the duffer gene." We affectionately referred to my maternal granddad as the old duffer and he was hilarious with all his little ways.

When someone's stressed, cranky, short tempered, close to meltdown/having a strop, we say that they're a donkey. This comes from 'Shrek' where donkey says 'I've got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a donkey on the edge' when he's stressed out.

Like a PP if there is an extra/spare of something then we always say it's for 'Ken'. Not sure how it originated, but it's been something our family says for at least 25 years.

There's a Billy Connolly sketch where he's talking about lions and says 'are they beige?, DH and I now say this whenever someone says something obvious.

We went on holiday when I was 12 and we drove over an iron bridge that was painted bright blue, I asked 'why's the bridge blue?', thinking that there must have been a significance. There wasn't and my family fell around laughing. Thirty years later and it's still said to someone whenever they ask something silly.

Oh and another one, if someone says 'there's nothing worse than' followed by something trivial such as 'running out of petrol', my mum used to respond with 'poverty, famine, and death'. We all do it now.