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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understanding obsessive pregnancy testing

109 replies

Paninotogo · 21/07/2017 07:56

When I was last pregnant back in the dark ages (nineties/noughties) pregnancy tests were very expensive, so people didn't test until after their period was late. Now people seem to test as soon as they have unprotected sex, then they post pictures of the test online because they can't make out a discernible line. They often follow this up with tests taken every day for comparison. Why? Testing before your period is due doesn't make you more pregnant, but it does appear to turn people into crazed obsessive bores. What is this all about?

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 21/07/2017 07:58

Perhaps because people are having children later and later, those "crazy obsessed bores" are anxious lest they have fertility issues and it would be a much wanted baby.

Why on earth is it any of your business? Hmm

GinIsIn · 21/07/2017 07:59

And no, I wasn't one of those people, but if you can't see that not everyone has the same pregnancy or conception journey as you, you need to try and tap into some compassion.

Snap8TheCat · 21/07/2017 07:59

I don't know! Same as you but my last was this decade however, one test when I was late and yes there it is (or isn't). In fact I've never taken a test that's turned negative because I've always waited until my period was properly late.

fruityb · 21/07/2017 08:00

I was an obsessive OPK user as I was desperate for a baby and it took us two years. Two years where I worried I wouldn't be able to have any, lots of heartache every month and thinking it would never happen.

When there's an aching in you for something that's much harder to achieve than you first thought then it can become obsessive. I like to support those who are like this in all honesty as I've been there.

thesunwillout · 21/07/2017 08:02

You highlighted one of the reasons, tests cost very little nowadays.

Natsku · 21/07/2017 08:03

They're still pretty expensive where I live so I only take one test when period is a week late but if someone is suffering with fertility issues I can understand more obsessive testing.

Palegreenstars · 21/07/2017 08:04

How unpleasant.

Because sometimes when you want a baby it's all you can think about. It doesn't have to make sense to you. As you say they are much cheaper than they were.

Original poster
Paninotogo · 21/07/2017 08:04

Yes, that is it, you can buy them from the pound shop now. But when it doesn't give a definitive response why do people put themselves through that?

OP posts:
twattymctwatterson · 21/07/2017 08:05

I take it you didn't have fertility issues?

Waybalooloo · 21/07/2017 08:06

I had a miscarriage and so was a bit paranoid. I did 5 in a week and all clearly said pregnant. I think it sent me a bit bonkers. I then had a 2nd miscarriage after baby 1. I didn't go so crazy in tests with my other children.

Original poster
Paninotogo · 21/07/2017 08:07

How does obsessive testing help with fertility? I get that it makes people desperate, but it doesn't change the outcome.

OP posts:
Waybalooloo · 21/07/2017 08:09

I suppose it is just anxiety. I did it with the first and that didn't survive and I still did it again. If you are going to lose babies testing won't matter. Just a psychological thing I suppose.

SandysMam · 21/07/2017 08:11

Because in the age of cyber living it's a little bit of real life excitement!! What a strange thread, those reading who feel a bit embarrassed at being an obsessive tester, ignore and test away!! I for one love a "can you see a line" thread and feel privileged that people share these moments with us all.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 21/07/2017 08:12

You can get 20 for £3 on Amazon. People (like me) test obsessively because they are desperate for a baby. If you've always had regular periods, never had endo pain or pics symptoms, fallen pregnant quickly and don't have much empathy then of course you wouldn't get why people test a lot.

GinIsIn · 21/07/2017 08:12

People aren't expecting it to help fertility, they are grasping at it for any bit of help they can get. It doesn't matter to them it isn't logical or cost effective. You seem completely ignorant of infertility issues - I suggest you read up.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 21/07/2017 08:13

PCOS

alltalknobaby · 21/07/2017 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GinIsIn · 21/07/2017 08:13

Hope not help.

Getoffthetableplease · 21/07/2017 08:13

With our first baby, period was late and I did a test. We hadn't been actively trying so that was just an easy win! Our second, however, took a long anxious time to conceive. I shudder to think how much I spent on ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. Weeing on sticks became compulsive along with all the other checking for signs and symptoms. It became the only way to feel like I was still a part of something that we wanted so so much that seemed so out our control. Call me a crack but it felt like a desperate, frustrating struggle so the opportunity to see a line and know that we had a chance of our dream was too much for me not to obsess over. 2015 or years ago, no odds -
the only difference would have been the cost.

thatwhichwecallarose · 21/07/2017 08:15

For all the reasons mentioned above plus the fact that they are better now, so you can get a positive before you period is even due. Should we ignore all "pointless" medical advances? What about going back to the call the midwife days when they didn't exist at all?!

Original poster
Paninotogo · 21/07/2017 08:16

But how do those threads help? When you have half the people saying they see nothing and the others split between 'maybe...' or 'that's negative'? Surely that just increases the anxiety?

OP posts:
ems91 · 21/07/2017 08:16

I'm an obsessive tester because my cycle is all over the place and I'm now at the two year mark TTC without ever seeing a genuine BFP.... every time I think my period is late I have to test, but then AF turns up a day or two later anyway. Clinging onto false hope I guess... I have told myself I'm not doing it any more - causes me too much upset every damn month.

katiegd · 21/07/2017 08:17

It doesn't change the outcome, no.

But, when you've been trying for a long time and every cycle becomes a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment, it can just help you to feel a little more in control.

I think fertility issues are one of those things that are really, really hard to understand unless you've been through it. Believe me, I'd have probably been saying the same as you 2 years ago but now I can totally see why people do it.

Plus you can buy them for about 20p online so they really are very cheap!

GinIsIn · 21/07/2017 08:17

People want reassurance from others they aren't alone. Who do you think this rather mean spirited thread is helping? Hmm

Getoffthetableplease · 21/07/2017 08:17

Oh and 'bores', really? I seriously hope no one has confided their fertility issues in you, for you to yawn and moan about it, op.

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