To not understanding obsessive pregnancy testing

[Paninotogo]

When I was last pregnant back in the dark ages (nineties/noughties) pregnancy tests were very expensive, so people didn't test until after their period was late. Now people seem to test as soon as they have unprotected sex, then they post pictures of the test online because they can't make out a discernible line. They often follow this up with tests taken every day for comparison. Why? Testing before your period is due doesn't make you more pregnant, but it does appear to turn people into crazed obsessive bores. What is this all about?

Because there are people desperate for children with fertility issues who are hoping against hope that this will be the time. How unkind of you. Stop sneering.

But how do these threads help?

Sure as hell this one doesn't. Supportive, kind hearted, "we are all in this together" threads do though.

Why would I 'read up' Fenella?

OP I get your point (unlike rather a lot of the others). The problem with testing very very early is that it shows just how many pregnancies start but then fizzle out. Without the tests we used to largely not even notice many of these, putting them down as a slightly odd period. What I remember about pregnancy is that it's a long and boring business, there's nothing we can do to change that, but we're now so accustomed to instant news, instant gratification, with mobile phones and 24/7 webshops, that we have lost the knack of actually being patient.

What a horrible thread OP.

People will have their own reasons for testing early be it fear or excitement. I don't really see why you have to start a nasty judgemental thread about it.

I'm not sure why it concerns you.
If you don't know when your period is due, I actually had no periods for 3 years despite producing eggs, or you have an irregular cycle, or you have lost a baby and want to check you are still holding this one then yes you check because if it gives you a little headspace then why not.

The testing makes you feel like you're in control - of TTC and your body. Of course this is not true but it's the feeling of knowing that you are actively trying to do something. For some people it's really important, and I'm struggling to see why you don't understand that. Yes it causes additional anxiety but for many people it causes more anxiety NOT to test

And of course I understand the motivation for the constant testing from the desperate ones. I'm not going to sneer, I just ignore all the threads on MN and facebook. Nothing I can do or say will change the outcome for any particular woman. I hope everyone who POAS gets the outcome they want. And now I'm going to hide this thread.

Yes Alpaca, many pregnancies do not advance. How does knowing there was a POC/chemical pregnancy help? Especially to those who are desperate for a live child?

OP maybe people are just excited and desperate to find out? It's a massive thing. A lot of the tests market themselves as accurate a number of days before your period, so it's not unreasonable to act on that.

Also, there are a number of reasons why you might need to test early. For example, I have a condition that means I need to take steroids from ovulation and continue if I get pregnant. They are seriously hardcore drugs so it's important to stop them as soon as possible if not pregnant, so the earlier I can test the better. My consultant recommends testing at 10dpo which is obviously very early. And if the results are unclear I have to balance the potential risk to the baby of stopping the drugs against the potential risk to my body if I continue them. Just because you had things easy doesn't mean everyone does.

If you lose a baby HiJenny testing won't help. The hormones stay in your system for longer anyway.

I suppose I'm one of those "obsessive boring testers".

I've been trying to have my first baby for 4 years now. I dread to think how many tests I have taken. I failed my second round of IVF recently and have tried every available treatment. To say I am broken in 2 is an understatement.

And yet, I am still hopeful. Disproportionately so, perhaps. Some tests are able to detect pregnancy hormone 3-5 days before your period is due. Can you see how someone as desperate to be pregnant as me would use one of these?

And actually, these very tests detected my chemical pregnancy in Jul 2015 which offerred enormous hope at the time and meant that my specialist pursued a particular treatment for longer than she otherwise would which saved my sanity as I was worried about exhausting treatment options at that point. But that's just another chapter in my bleak, long and traumatic 'journey' to try to become a mother.

I'm not even annoyed by your post, I just find it odd that you are wondering about this. Fab that you seemingly and effortlessly became a mother yourself. Happy to be able to elaborate on what is a multi-faceted matter for many people. Pregnancy tests happen to feature heavily for just a couple of the reasons I mention above.

Wow, total empathy fail there. Because people are struggling to conceive and are anxious.

And because if you do know that you're having chemical pregnancies that's useful information to share with your specialist when undergoing fertility treatment - it points to a different set of problems than 'can't conceive at all'.

Personally despite struggling to conceive we are pointedly NOT doing early testing, FWIW, because it was making me an anxious mess and I think that anxiety might be part of the problem for us, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit here and be smug and judgey about people who do test early.

it doesn't affect you in any way. I imagine if I was having fertility struggles or felt very anxious about concieving I would probably get a bit obsessed with testing and asking other people for their opinions. It obviously doesn't make a difference to the outcome and they know that. People do a lot of things that help them cope but won't necessarily change their situation.
It's so odd that you even give this head space.

OP I believe Jenny probably meant if you have had a previous loss and find yourself pregnant again, the test may reassure that you are still pregnant. Yes, not an exact science but sometimes helpful to those who have losses. To be honest you are being a dick now. Many people have given you completely reasonable reasons as to why they test a lot (ready and cheap availability of internet cheapie tests, ongoing fertility issues, desperation for a much wanted baby, irregular cycles, the need to take drugs at certain points in the conception cycle) but yet you're clinging on to your view that you are correct and everyone else is foolish or a bore.
In my case, with my first pregnancy it took us 18 months to conceive. My cycle ranged from 28 to 60 days. Testing was useful for me. And it's really nobody else's business but mine.

I'm not a POAS addict, I conceived in the first month of trying to conceive. I took two tests. One about 3 days before my period because I was about to go to a weekend away with my in laws where they'd be a lot of drinking and I wanted to make sure I was/wasn't pregnant before drinking or not. The second was actually the day after I would have missed my period. I'm now 25 weeks.

My sister is about to do her third round of IVF, and is a POAS addict. My sister and her husband have been trying for 8 years, and have experienced three miscarriages. I don't mind looking at photos of barely there lines, because it doesn't hurt me to look at them and help them if I can.

If you don't like it, keep scrolling. Your fake concern over their mental wellbeing isn't helping in such a trying and difficult time for some couples to conceive. You seem smug and willfully ignorant of the situation. Simply, butt out if you're unable to be of help, or express empathy.

Because it reassures them. Even if we can't control the outcome of a pregnancy, some women are very anxious and test for reassurance. Especially if they have been through a miscarriage before or if they have fertility issues. It might be irrational, but if it makes them feel better, why not?
Why does it bother you?

Come on, you can't judge someone for their conception journey. Infertility is such an emotive subject, and if testing early and repeatedly makes someone feel better or more in control, where is the harm? And even if someone doesn't have fertility issues the excitement they feel about possibly being pregnant is such a lovely thing. It's a happy time, and if people want to post about their excitement and their tests I really don't see why it would bother you. I love seeing other's happiness when they get their positive.

I can understand why people do a lot of tests to see if they're pregnant considering that they are so cheap nowadays. It is the repeated testing after they have found out they are pregnant I don't get although I suppose that if you have bought a pack of 20 you perhaps might as well use them up...

Fuck off.

it does appear to turn people into crazed obsessive bores.

What a nasty thing to write, actually what a bitchy thing to write.
The tests might be more easily available and done quicker today, the whole emotional and anxiety one is not new! SOME women obsessed about every change of their body, imagining (fake) symptoms, do you honestly believe there's anything new?
We get it, you never had any problem and fear. So you are right and the others are wrong?

An early pregnancy test might be positive, and the woman suffer an early miscarriage. A first scan might be fine, and the pregnancy still end up in miscarriage. A later scan be all ok, and the pregnancy ending in still birth. Shall we stop all tests because nothing guarantee the outcome? What the fuck does it have to do with you if a test helps a woman, and tells her the answer quicker than waiting for her periods?

Not only there are very good medical reasons why women take tests and it can help towards assessing an issue, but it has no impact on you. You come across as a selfish lacking of empathy smug bore, and you don't need a test for that. Well done you.

I'm not sure that the people that post those threads are suffering with infertility. Most just seem to be people trying to conceive.

I don't understand how it's easier to see a line on a photo than in real life but if people want to post, that's totally up to them. Starting a thread to bitch about it is pretty mean spirited.

Whats to understand? testing and posting might bring some people comfort, reassurance, the sense they aren't alone.

OTOH, I do question the rationale of starting a snide thread judging people who are quite likely to be vulnerable and fragile.