Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understanding obsessive pregnancy testing

109 replies

Paninotogo · 21/07/2017 07:56

When I was last pregnant back in the dark ages (nineties/noughties) pregnancy tests were very expensive, so people didn't test until after their period was late. Now people seem to test as soon as they have unprotected sex, then they post pictures of the test online because they can't make out a discernible line. They often follow this up with tests taken every day for comparison. Why? Testing before your period is due doesn't make you more pregnant, but it does appear to turn people into crazed obsessive bores. What is this all about?

OP posts:
Orangebird69 · 21/07/2017 09:33

It's not something I did OP. I didn't 'track' anything. I just had a free app on my phone telling me when to dtd according to my period dates. Then waited for my period to start. If it didn't start when it was supposed to (I was fairly regular), I'd leave it a few mor days then test. It took me 13mo to conceive and even then I didn't get a bfp until I was 6 days late....

However, I think your post is really really mean and ignorant. You can always steer away from the conception threads if it bores you so much.

GinIsIn · 21/07/2017 09:33

Because you sound so ignorant, perhaps? Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/07/2017 09:38

I dont get why anyone would care what other people do.

If you dont think the threads help, dont read them. And unless someone is expecting you to pay for their tests then how many they use has precisely nothing to do with you.

It has no impact whatsoever on your life, so I suggest you find something else to lose sleep over.

Sparklingbrook · 21/07/2017 09:39

I think it's probably a bit of anxiety. I was so so lucky to get pregnant very quickly twice and to carry babies to term and everything to be ok.

But there loads of women that it doesn't happen like that for and they need all the reassurance they can get. That might mean using lots of tests.

BatmansPrettierSidekick · 21/07/2017 09:45

Oh OP how thoughtless and quite frankly mean of you to post something like this.

Go away and think about what you've said

Sluttybartfast · 21/07/2017 09:56

As it happens I posted a picture of a test this morning, although it was a very clear test. Why did I do it? Because I've had very recent disappointments, because I appreciated the reassurance, because I can't talk to anyone other than DH about this IRL at the moment so it's good to hear "I see it too, congratulations". In my last pregnancy, which unfortunately didn't work out, I tested every day for 4 days to watch the line get darker. Do you really not understand that?

As it happens I advise people who are as far as they know of normal fertility to avoid testing until they're due, or until they're late if possible, because I do know how upsetting it is to watch a positive dwindle away. But that's for them to decide what's best for them emotionally, not me to make the frankly cruel judgement that they're obsessive bores.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 21/07/2017 09:57

Vladimir exactly

Maybe I'll entertain myself today by starting the following threads

I just don't understand why poor people keep queueing outside the food bank - AIBU?

My friend who was in a massive 7 car pile up on the M25 is scared of motorway driving - I don't get it!

The single mum with 4 kids next door is really letting her garden go. Should I say something?

MrsGabor · 21/07/2017 09:59

Hope mainly.

Cheap tests +14 cycles including 3 early MCs. Hope. Because some days that's all I've got.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 21/07/2017 10:00

YABU and insensitive.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/07/2017 10:04

For the 'why test after you get a positive' - I've had three miscarriages, two at five weeks and one at seven. For the two earliest ones, each time the lines got darker for a couple of days after I missed my period and then faded again. It was pretty horrible, but not as bad as spending a week and a half thinking I was pregnant and then waking up in blood would have been. Women want to know that everything's ok - nothing can really tell them that, of course, but they want any piece of information they can get.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/07/2017 10:09

Oh, and I never really understand the idea that I shouldn't have tested until six weeks or some other arbitrary date because then I 'wouldn't know' about two of my miscarriages. Firstly, I actually knew before I took a test in all three of pregnancies because my breasts hurt in a weird way they never have when I'm not pregnant. I also have regular cycles, so I couldn't not notice being over a week late. I still would have 'known'. Secondly, if I didn't know I'd ever been pregnant I'd be starting fertility treatment as it's been a year with no successful pregnancy. I'd be having all sorts of testing to see why I can't conceive. But I can conceive, so the problem clearly lies elsewhere. Why would it be better if me and my doctor didn't know that?

Roomster101 · 21/07/2017 10:12

For the 'why test after you get a positive' - I've had three miscarriages, two at five weeks and one at seven. For the two earliest ones, each time the lines got darker for a couple of days after I missed my period and then faded again.

It may work for very early miscarriage but that's arguably just an argument for not doing a test at all until you are a week late. For later miscarriages, it may not go visibly lighter (I still had a dark line three weeks after miscarriage) and this could lead to false reassurance and ultimately greater upset when blood appears.

JuicyStrawberry · 21/07/2017 10:13

Perhaps it's because it's a big thing for them? Click off the threads if you don't like them! I can't see what wrong they are doing to you.

Iggi999 · 21/07/2017 10:13

I took steroids from ovulation till a negative pg test when I could stop (or keep going if it was positive),
The minute I got a positive I had to start taking progesterone.
So obviously testing early for a bonus.
Lots of women are on the regime I have described.

Laiste · 21/07/2017 10:14

Hold on - i think the OP is asking specifically about the trend of posting pictures on social media of tests taken very early and then stressing about line/no line. She said Now people seem to test as soon as they have unprotected sex, then they post pictures of the test online because they can't make out a discernible line. There is a trend for this. I would hazard a guess it's more often NOT those women who are genuinely struggling with fertility doing it.

With regards to obsessive testing - i was the actual queen of it for about 4 years trying for DD4. So ... i dunno ... 50 cycles ... so 60 odd tests i imagine. At the end we finally got a BP. and then tested twice more to be sure Grin. I was a bore to my DH. I never posted the tests online though.

Iggi999 · 21/07/2017 10:14

Roomster in both your posts you could do with an empathy injection.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 21/07/2017 10:24

I had anything between 21 and 60 day cycles. When do you suggest I POAS, OP? How do I determine if I'm pregnant or just annovulatory that cycle? Ovulatuon tests don't always work properly for PCOS sufferers either.

And my chemical pregnancy informed me that indeed I was able to ovulate without medication.

Is that ok for you, OP? Grin

ElleDubloo · 21/07/2017 10:28

I stopped obsessively testing after I had a couple of early miscarriages / chemical pregnancies / whatever you want to call them (faint blue line approx 3-4 before period, which got stronger and stronger than weaker and became negative about 10-14 days later). The anxiety and heartbreak were awful and I decided not to test again until my period was 1 month late (i.e. 2 months since my last period). Then I was much more relaxed and had 2 babies.

But everyone is different.

MissWilmottsGhost · 21/07/2017 10:28

I used to test early after fertility issues and several miscarriages.

  1. It was only from testing early that I discovered I was conceiving. I had been waiting to definitely miss a period and start noticing symptoms, but this meant I miscarried before I knew I was pregnant and thought I was not conceiving at all. I had £££ of IVF before I found out I could conceive but not stay pregnant.

  2. I was given prescription for medication that could help prevent miscarriage so if I found I was pregnant early I could get started on it and hope to save the baby. If I waited until my period was missed I would be too late and already miscarrying.

  3. Testing and getting a negative reduced the constant 'am I pregnant' stress.

  4. When I got a bfp, I tested daily to see if the line got stronger or weaker. When the line faded I knew I was miscarrying and it was less distressing when bleeding started.

In over a decade ttc and 10+ known miscarriages and 1DC later I must have spent a fortune on tests, but I only regret not using them earlier. The tests cost a hell of a lot less than the IVF which it turned out I didn't need at all.

Roomster101 · 21/07/2017 10:29

Roomster in both your posts you could do with an empathy injection.

Why? I understand why people do early tests and subsequent tests but I just don't think they are helpful. I say that as someone who had three miscarriages (at 12 weeks) and very probably much earlier ones. The fact that I didn't know about the earlier ones (pregnancy tests were v. expensive in those days) saved a lot of stress. The more reassured you are about a pregnancy the worse it is if you do miscarry.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/07/2017 10:30

It may work for very early miscarriage but that's arguably just an argument for not doing a test at all until you are a week late.

Did you read my second post? The NHS consultant I'm seeing for recurrent miscarriage seems to think it's actually quite important that we know that I've miscarried three times, not just the once.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 21/07/2017 10:31

Desperation to get pregnant. I'm on a PCOS fb group and people often post blatantly positive ones just to check as they just can't believe it. We understand though as a group as a lot of us have been there.

Piewraith · 21/07/2017 10:36

For most people it's just that it's a big thing that will change their lives and they would like to know as soon as possible.

Imagine if you were getting the results of a test or interview, a big one that would determine the rest of your life, and the letter with the results was due on a certain date. But if you want you can check the results online 3-5 days earlier. Would you log on and check or wait for the post?

Sluttybartfast · 21/07/2017 10:43

Why have pregnancy tests at all, with your reasoning? After all, by the time you're three weeks late you can go and get a scan which will tell you whether it's ongoing or not. Or why not just wait for 'quickening', old school style? Or the birth? After all, no guarantees until you have a live baby in your arms.

RockyBird · 21/07/2017 10:44

My first pregnancy started in 2003, cheapy tests were available then.

I completely understand the obsession. I lived it.