Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To not understanding obsessive pregnancy testing

109 replies

Paninotogo · 21/07/2017 07:56

When I was last pregnant back in the dark ages (nineties/noughties) pregnancy tests were very expensive, so people didn't test until after their period was late. Now people seem to test as soon as they have unprotected sex, then they post pictures of the test online because they can't make out a discernible line. They often follow this up with tests taken every day for comparison. Why? Testing before your period is due doesn't make you more pregnant, but it does appear to turn people into crazed obsessive bores. What is this all about?

OP posts:

Hapaxlegomenon · 21/07/2017 08:44

Because they might be very excited or anxious...?

ConstanceCraving · 21/07/2017 08:45

I feel for some of the posters in here I see posting photos of tests hoping someone will say they can see a line. Very often I really can't see anything.

Some of them are obviously desperate for a baby and test as soon as they can. The danger if testing so early is that you could get a very faint line but go on to have a chemical pregnancy which you wouldn't have known about if you'd waited till your period was due. Making you even more anxious and upset.

SpookyBookey · 21/07/2017 08:49

It is an exciting time for a lot of women and they just can't hold of wanting to know. I tested early with both my pregnancies (luckily my hormones are quite high so I show up clear lines 6 days before). I just couldn't stand not knowing when I could know.

Also for some women it isn't a time for happiness and they want to know very quickly so they can take action as early as possible.

It isn't harming you, I don't see why it is such a problem for you.

randomsabreuse · 21/07/2017 08:49

I took a fatalistic view to pregnancy up to about 8 weeks. I didn't test until then taking the view that I was "late" until at least that point - because it would have been easier to deal had anything happened. I was eating / not drinking on the assumption I might be but that was all.

Part of that was because I had been late the previous month and had a very heavy period - which I strongly suspect was a failed pregnancy but I had too much on (DH injured at work, worried about his job, potential house purchase, in laws "helping") to cope emotionally with anything else - so for me it is an effective defense mechanism.

Will definitely be avoiding early tests this time too. Knowledge doesn't change anything for me - but I accept that it might for others.

londonrach · 21/07/2017 08:49

£1 gets you two tests in poundland. Think cost might be the reason for alot more today than before.

Roomster101 · 21/07/2017 08:49

OP I believe Jenny probably meant if you have had a previous loss and find yourself pregnant again, the test may reassure that you are still pregnant.

Unless it is a very early pregnancy loss the test will tell you nothing. I still had positive tests three weeks after miscarriage (I was doing the test to make sure it was complete) and was told by the consultant that was completely normal.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 21/07/2017 08:50

Some people feel anxious and want reassurance.

thereallochnessmonster · 21/07/2017 08:50

I think OP is getting a hard time on here!

Mind you, crazed obsessive bores is nasty - esp on a board full of women, most of whom have dc so have been pg!

Depends who you're talking about, OP - I think there's a huge difference between (1) women who are struggling to conceive testing obsessively and (2) women on their first month of ttc, no known fertility issues, testing obsessively.

I can completely sympathise with the former - the latter, not so much. Depends what the woman is like in real life too - does she have form for being dramatic and attention seeking?

Testing too early won't change the outcome, you won't get a definitive answer, it just smacks of 'me me me, look at me'. I'm not sure if it helps - obsessing about getting pg is not always condicive to getting pg.

I also agree with AlpacaLypse that people have lost the knack of being patient and waiting for something.

coddiwomple · 21/07/2017 08:53

people have lost the knack of being patient and waiting for something.

I disagree, people are the same, they just have new ways to be informed earlier, it doesn't mean people were more patient in the past, just that they had no choice!

TheFirstMrsDV · 21/07/2017 08:56

How does obsessive testing help with fertility? I get that it makes people desperate, but it doesn't change the outcome
Stunning lack of insight

ConstanceCraving · 21/07/2017 08:58

In the good old days though coddiwomple before all the early testing, many women wouldn't have known they'd had a chemical pregnancy but now with testing so early women are getting a positive test then starting their period which obviously is upsetting and adding to their anxiety.

Roomster101 · 21/07/2017 08:58

Although I do understand why people test so early I do think it is unhelpful. A colleague of mine had a week off work after a miscarriage that she wouldn't have known about if it wasn't for the tests. Her period wasn't even late.

Fortybingowings · 21/07/2017 09:00

What a judgemental horrid thread OP.
A pregnancy test done out of anxiety probably saved my life. I had irregular bleeding with D&V with slight pelvic pain. Outcome- ectopic.
Subsequent to that 2 IVF cycles, the 2nd one successful.
Walk a mile in the shoes of someone with fertility issues. Unless this is more goady daily mail fodder from a journo.

JacquesHammer · 21/07/2017 09:01

Yes Alpaca, many pregnancies do not advance. How does knowing there was a POC/chemical pregnancy help? Especially to those who are desperate for a live child

Because you can give information to your specialist to help direct the investigations.

Are you really so obtuse?

ShelaghTurner · 21/07/2017 09:02

Don’t know why people are even responding. OP is clearly a GF, just ignore.

cognacbag · 21/07/2017 09:09

As someone who has been struggeling with fertilitytreatments for years and have had multiple miscarriages I don't get it either!

A positive test just means that you are pregnant. Not that you will have a baby. I did test early once and regretted it immediately. It really made me obsessive. Now I just relax during the two week wait and don't test till I'm a few days late. No point in knowing beforehand. The ivf centre knows that I will test later than their protocol and are fine with it.

It really makes you feel worse to test early.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/07/2017 09:13

It can change the outcome, actually.

I would have to test within the two week wait, because I would then be started on medication asap which might help prevent a miscarriage.

HTH.

haveacupoftea · 21/07/2017 09:13

I found the whole thing really fun and exciting! I tested every day the cycle I had my son. I was desperate to have a baby and the thought that today could be the day I find out I'm pregnant was so exciting! Then staring at the tests, examining them, convincing myself there was a line googling 'bfp on frer at 4dpo' 😂 it was something to do during the dreaded two week wait if nothing else.

As it happened, I got my positive at ten days post ovulation on a first response and although the line was very faint there was no mistaking it. I watched the pink dye creep over the line as you do and waited for it to disappear, as you do, and it didn't. I nearly died with shock and nerves

Grilledaubergines · 21/07/2017 09:20

I was one of THOSE people who tested multiple times. To make sure I was still pregnant. 6 years of fertility treatment is why. I'm delighted one test was enough for you. Unless you're being asked to funds the tests, it should affect you as much as it seems to be.

Grilledaubergines · 21/07/2017 09:20

*shouldnt

Jemimapuddleduk · 21/07/2017 09:24

I was an obsessive pregnancy test user. We had fertility issues and recurrent miscarriage and I was super anxious and just desperate to be pregnant and stay pregnant. You probably wouldn't get it unless you were in that situation.
There were people who repeatedly said to me - oh back in my day we probably miscarried without realising as there wasn't such thing as early pregnancy testing. Well I can say for sure you certainly couldn't have mistaken my 3 miscarriages for a late period- horrendous pain, masses of blood and passing a tiny foetus in a grey sack. Or the retained (missed miscarriage) that required excruciating manual vacuum aspiration plus hormone tablets to shift as it just didn't want to budge.

pandarific · 21/07/2017 09:24

What on earth do you mean it 'smacks of me me me'? Can you explain?

It is a big awesome terrifying thing and if it were to happen to me, it would be happening to ME, not any bloody body else, so yes, I'd be excited as hell.

I am TTC and have bought a 10 pack of cheap accurate tests from Amazon for the grand total of £3.99 and when I get to when I think my period is due I will be testing like fuck, because:

1: I have pcos and want to know if it's just that or a pregnancy so I can get my head around it appropriately.

2: I've never been pregnant before and it's kind of a big deal and I'd want to know asap.

3: if it was a chemical or a miss, I'd still rather know as then I have more information - ie I'd know I could definitely conceive in the first place.

This thread has really annoyed me! Most of the testing stuff lives on the conception board anyway so perhaps if it irritates you don't go there?

chipscheeseandcurrysauce · 21/07/2017 09:25

It's peace of mind isn't it? As well as a glimmer of hope for those with fertility problems!

newbian · 21/07/2017 09:25

If you stay away from websites that have a TTC section (like, ahem, MN) you won't see this. I doubt it's a trend but there's a home for it online now whereas maybe 10 years ago there wasn't.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/07/2017 09:31

Why do people start disingenuous threads being really dismissive that some people live their lives differently to them?

Is it really anything at all to do with you?

Has anyone asked you to personally come around and hold their test in position whilst they piss on your hand?, if not then stay out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread