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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send this email to neighbour 2 doors down

115 replies

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 12:32

Can I send this email? Or am I just being a grouch? For reference, XXXX is an aquaintance who recently moved to our street. I don't mind her, although will never be bosom friends, but her child is thoroughly unpleasant and a bully so this may be colouring my judgement.

Hi XXXX

Hope all the work on your house is going well and you can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't think you're around today but I wondered if you could have a little word with the scaffolders who are here today. They arrived at 8am on a Sunday and started banging and shouting pretty much immediately. We can live with that, even though I don't think they are meant to cause noise on a Sunday, but then they started swearing at the tops of their voices - not because anyone was angry or hurt, but using 'fucking' as their adverb of a choice in every other sentence.

It would be hypocritical of me to pretend that I never swear in front of children, but it's a lovely day, we are in the garden, we have windows open, and it's not very nice. I did go round and ask them to stop swearing and they apologised but they've started up again - I think they probably don't realise they're doing it, let alone how loud they are, and are forgetting they're not on a building site. I'm probably also running out of patience after months and months of similar from YYYY's (immediate next door) builders, and it's almost the end of term and I was looking forward to sleeping a bit late this morning so I am probably a bit grumpy!

Thanks in advance,

Biscuits

OP posts:

KoalaDownUnder · 02/07/2017 12:33

I think it's fine. Very measured.

FannyWisdom · 02/07/2017 12:34

I wouldn't.
You should only see scaffolders once or twice over a build.

Nice e-mail though, save it for a regular occurrence.

mygorgeousmilo · 02/07/2017 12:35

Absolutely fine IMO.

MJDinner · 02/07/2017 12:35

It's waffly. i'll let others comment on the appropriateness of what you're asking/etc but that letter screams apologetic dithering to me. Sorry.

I'm sure there's a more concise way you can make your point politely.

TrickyKid · 02/07/2017 12:35

Sounds like perfectly reasonable request. I'd send it.

ImperialBlether · 02/07/2017 12:36

You need to keep telling them to watch their language, that there are children present. There's nothing she can do about it at a distance.

mummymeister · 02/07/2017 12:37

too waffley. just get to the point. they were working on a sunday, they started really early and they are swearing loudly.

are your neighbours living there at the moment? if they are I wonder why they said nothing.

you are right. builders should only be working on a sunday in exceptional circumstances according to the code of practice.

SafeToCross · 02/07/2017 12:37

The only thing is, scaffolders tend to be in and out in a few hours, cause chaos, and then they won't be back until the end of the build. So I would say her complaining about them is not very likely to make an impact (the builders will use which scaffolders they want to). Maybe just say you hope she could ask her builders to be more considerate than the scaffolders.

Shoxfordian · 02/07/2017 12:39

I think you're being a bit precious to be honest

TheMasterNotMargarita · 02/07/2017 12:40

But nothing will happen.

If be more inclined to shout down to them
'Oi ya noisy bastards, fancy a fucking cuppa? I'm only brewing if you stop fucking swearing like I already asked earlier.'

JustMumNowNotMe · 02/07/2017 12:40

You need to keep telling them to watch their language, that there are children present

No, they don't. Of course no one likes to hear swearing aorund kids, but they have no responsibility to your children and do not have to modify their behaviour just because there are children around.

As a parent, you explain to children that there is bad language and that they will hear it, but they are not to repeat it. It really is as simple as that.

titchy · 02/07/2017 12:41

Why don't you just go and tell them again? Your neighbour's not going to be able to do anything you can't...

araiwa · 02/07/2017 12:41

Why the fuck would you email that? Cant you be an adult and just talk to them??

georgjensen · 02/07/2017 12:42

Nothing to do with the neighbours. They are probably subcontractors so talk to the main contractor. That said most people would just go and talk to the scaffolders.

Scaffolding is a quick job and so they won't be around long- were they taking it up or putting it down?

KindleBueno · 02/07/2017 12:43

If the neighbour isn't there then what's the point in emailing her? Go say directly to the builders again and mention it to her when you see her.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 12:44

If I got that I'd wonder what I was supposed to do about it. You asked them to stop, they did for a bit and started again. Why would it be any different if I asked them to stop?

I agree with you in principle but it's not something the house owners can actually do much about.

CaseStudyResearch · 02/07/2017 12:44

If the scaffolders are not there for much longer, I wouldn't bother sending the email.

I also don't see why you just don't go round to the scaffolders and explain how the noise is carrying and kids can hear them constantly swearing.

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2017 12:45

I wouldn't, it's hardly her fault and scaffolders are gone after they erect the scaffolding as others have said. If it's really bothering you speak to them again,

I like the humourous approach of " oi you noisy fuckers, stop the swearing and I will make you all a fucking cuppa" .

19lottie82 · 02/07/2017 12:45

Why bother sending an email to someone that lives 2 doors down about someone else?

Surely it would be easier just to go out and ask the builders to watch their language as there are kids in the house?

KoalaDownUnder · 02/07/2017 12:45

Nothing to do with the neighbours. They are probably subcontractors so talk to the main contractor.

Huh? Of course it is. She's the one paying them. They're more likely to listen to her (the customer) than a random neighbour.

Original poster

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 12:48

I have talked to them already! And neighbour isn't there so I can't talk to her. It's really loud. They're drilling now. I just think it's really unnecessary on a Sunday. But I think we may just go out instead, to keep the peace. In between us is a house where extensive work is also being done and they aren't living there. The other side is an elderly man who is currently in hospital. Directly opposite is yet another huge building project so they wouldn't really have a leg to stand on if they objected and anyway I think have also moved out for the duration. So it's just us, stuck amid the noise, chaos, trucks, frequently blocked street and now the drilling and swearing on the only day we could have hoped for some respite.

OP posts:

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 02/07/2017 12:50

It's not an email I would send, too emotional.
Complains work best when they are short and to the point.

Also, scaffolders are a law unto themselves, so I won't even bother.

Having said that, the last ones we had to deal with were lovely.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 02/07/2017 12:51

I see you are frustrated with the whole situation and rightly so.
Can you complain to the council?

grasspigeons · 02/07/2017 12:52

I'd probably deal with the builders direct to be honest. We had building work done (scaffold era were only there 1 day) and our builders were pretty annoying to be honest. They ignored me but my neighbour coming round had a bigger impact.

hesterton · 02/07/2017 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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