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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to send this email to neighbour 2 doors down

115 replies

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 12:32

Can I send this email? Or am I just being a grouch? For reference, XXXX is an aquaintance who recently moved to our street. I don't mind her, although will never be bosom friends, but her child is thoroughly unpleasant and a bully so this may be colouring my judgement.

Hi XXXX

Hope all the work on your house is going well and you can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't think you're around today but I wondered if you could have a little word with the scaffolders who are here today. They arrived at 8am on a Sunday and started banging and shouting pretty much immediately. We can live with that, even though I don't think they are meant to cause noise on a Sunday, but then they started swearing at the tops of their voices - not because anyone was angry or hurt, but using 'fucking' as their adverb of a choice in every other sentence.

It would be hypocritical of me to pretend that I never swear in front of children, but it's a lovely day, we are in the garden, we have windows open, and it's not very nice. I did go round and ask them to stop swearing and they apologised but they've started up again - I think they probably don't realise they're doing it, let alone how loud they are, and are forgetting they're not on a building site. I'm probably also running out of patience after months and months of similar from YYYY's (immediate next door) builders, and it's almost the end of term and I was looking forward to sleeping a bit late this morning so I am probably a bit grumpy!

Thanks in advance,

Biscuits

OP posts:
Blodplod · 02/07/2017 13:33

As others have said, scaffolders are in and out quick and it's 1 day of noise. Admittedly not ideal on a Sunday (they must be under time pressure to get the job completed). But, it's 1 sodding day.. not ideal of course but a little tolerance and patience wouldn't go amiss. I can't see how your neighbour could have any control whatsoever over what the scaffolders are doing whilst she's not there.. your email to complain looks petty and childish. It's a beautiful day, maybe go out for the day and when you get back it'll all be over. Grin

Summerswallow · 02/07/2017 13:35

Telling any tradesman or builder to stop swearing is laughable and they will increase their swearing just to annoy you! They won't be there for long so I would let it go

On this occasion there may not be much she can do, email the company is the obvious one.

Many companies now do not let their builders/scaffolders swear, or leer over women or shout out remarks as in the past, as they sign up to codes of conduct and are employed by organizations that won't tolerate street harassment or bad conduct in public any more. The industry is changing, these sounds 'old school'. Drop the company an email if you feel strongly about it.

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 13:36

I may not be in the right about the noise and swearing but I am sure fucking is not an adjective. If you say 'that dog is ugly', then ugly is an adjective. But if you say 'that dog is fucking' then it is the present continuous or gerund verb form. If you say 'that dog is fucking ugly' then fucking is an adverb because it describes how the dog is ugly. You could replace it with exceedingly, very, slightly etc. All adverbs. But thank you for distracting me with a grammatical debate.

OP posts:
ChicRock · 02/07/2017 13:40

Remove the stuff about YYY. You are setting yourself up for XXX to go and show the email to YYY and for them to have a proper bitchfest about you.

redladybird · 02/07/2017 13:49

Summerswallow :

A lot of scaffolders are self employed and not run via a large firm. These guys probably own the company therefore, will laugh it off!

Gemini69 · 02/07/2017 13:53

do not send this Email..

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 14:17

Good point ChicRock.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/07/2017 14:36

I think grammatically the dog would be fugly if that helps

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2017 14:48

Poor dog. It's getting some dogs abuse on here.

Can someone please think about the dog?

Piggywaspushed · 02/07/2017 14:51

But what if I left my fucking handbag at the park by accident??

That is surely an adjective?

Always happy to distract!

Maybe you could take up this debate with the fucking scaffolders?

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 14:53

I'll gladly think about the dog, it helps distract from the very loud bangs now emanating from two doors down.

OP posts:
Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 14:54

Actually I think the scaffolders are using 'fucking' as pretty much ANY part of speech.

OP posts:
Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 14:55

And they would have fucking left their fucking handbag at the fucking park. Fuck!

OP posts:
GrumpyInsomniac · 02/07/2017 14:57

Might be worth a check of the local by-laws. Round here, there is no construction work allowed on a Sunday, just DIY, which this clearly isn't. Maybe you have something similar? Too late to help for today, but might be worth checking for the next time something like this happens.

Piggywaspushed · 02/07/2017 15:00

Well, they are masters of all parts of speech at least...

It must indeed be fucking annoying.

I never swear

gillybeanz · 02/07/2017 15:02

You have politely asked the builders not to swear and have admitted that you swear in front of children.
You are being a bit hypocritical there.
Also, what makes you think they'll listen to your neighbour when they have continued after you told them.
It's a polite message but not sure what your neighbours can do tbh.

FannyWisdom · 02/07/2017 15:02

If they are still scaffolding at this time they will be swearing.
How big is next doors hoose?

queenofthedump · 02/07/2017 15:02

I find it odd that you even know the email address of your neighbours... misses the point

RainyApril · 02/07/2017 15:11

Found this on our local government website :

Restricted hours
General construction work should be restricted to the following hours:
Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm
Saturdays 8am to 1pm
Noisy work is prohibited on Sundays and bank holidays

Seems you can report noisy construction work outside those hours.

StaplesCorner · 02/07/2017 15:13

Thing is OP, on MN, if your neighbour's dog was barking, or baby was crying for 10 minutes, you'd be entirely within your rights to report them to the council and they'd be selfish and entitled.

But because its lovely jolly builders and you think they should shut the fuck up, you have suddenly become the enemy.

StaplesCorner · 02/07/2017 15:14

Please report it tomorrow.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 15:14

No, you wouldn't be in your rights for either of things, obviously. Nice hyperbole though.

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 15:14

Well the council website says:
'As a general rule, where residential occupiers are likely to be affected, it is expected that noisy demolition and construction works shall be carried out during the following hours:

8am to 6pm, Monday to Friday
8am to 1pm, Saturday
With no noisy works being permitted outside of these hours or on Sundays or Bank Holidays. '
But I would honestly feel like a real jobsworth complaining to the council and that I think would sour relations irretrievably with the neighbour. It's happening now, and will be finished by the time council offices open tomorrow (and I have to leave for work at 6.30 am so they won't bother me tomorrow - I just really needed a peaceful Sunday).

OP posts:
viques · 02/07/2017 15:14

Too long.

hi xxxxx, hope the work is going well.

just to let you know I had to have a work with your scaffolders this morning about the language they were using. Please could you ask your builders to mind their language when they are working outside. Many thanks.

SweetLuck · 02/07/2017 15:19

I would roll my eyes if I received that. Just sounds so weak and waffly.

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