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AIBU?

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Original poster

to send this email to neighbour 2 doors down

115 replies

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 12:32

Can I send this email? Or am I just being a grouch? For reference, XXXX is an aquaintance who recently moved to our street. I don't mind her, although will never be bosom friends, but her child is thoroughly unpleasant and a bully so this may be colouring my judgement.

Hi XXXX

Hope all the work on your house is going well and you can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't think you're around today but I wondered if you could have a little word with the scaffolders who are here today. They arrived at 8am on a Sunday and started banging and shouting pretty much immediately. We can live with that, even though I don't think they are meant to cause noise on a Sunday, but then they started swearing at the tops of their voices - not because anyone was angry or hurt, but using 'fucking' as their adverb of a choice in every other sentence.

It would be hypocritical of me to pretend that I never swear in front of children, but it's a lovely day, we are in the garden, we have windows open, and it's not very nice. I did go round and ask them to stop swearing and they apologised but they've started up again - I think they probably don't realise they're doing it, let alone how loud they are, and are forgetting they're not on a building site. I'm probably also running out of patience after months and months of similar from YYYY's (immediate next door) builders, and it's almost the end of term and I was looking forward to sleeping a bit late this morning so I am probably a bit grumpy!

Thanks in advance,

Biscuits

OP posts:
youaredeluded · 02/07/2017 12:53

I think you need to suck it up.

grasspigeons · 02/07/2017 12:54

We never did stuff on a weekend. It was part of the planning permission.

NoSquirrels · 02/07/2017 12:54

God that sounds awful, OP. Message to ALL your building work neighbours pointing out that whilst you can be reasonable about the idea of weekend working on a single occasion, there's so much work on all their properties that you're losing it and they need to keep Saturdays and Sundays free of construction.

Go back round to scaffolders and ask if they're breaking for lunch and how long it'll take them today.

WinifredAtwellsOtherPiano · 02/07/2017 12:55

By the time she's read the email the scaffolders will have gone. Save it for the builders proper.

provider5sectorzz9 · 02/07/2017 12:55

Long winded and pretentious, just get to the point and stop trying to give an impression of eloquence

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 12:56

If its actually about the noise and drilling then thats a different matter, deal with that.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 02/07/2017 12:56

I can see why it is annoying you and why you would want them to stop but scaffolders are a rare breed but they won't be there long, just long enough to ling it up and then take it down again when it's no longer needed. It is miserable though. if you really feel you must email your neighbour, I'd make it less waffly and just say that they're swearing a lot and loudly and that it is not appreciated.

StaplesCorner · 02/07/2017 12:56

I'm just on another thread where neighbours have made a formal complaint to local authority as a man drove his car at 5am to go to work. You shouldn't have to put up with this crap because they are "scaffolders", and especially not on a Sunday. Do you normally have works on a Sunday in your street? There are usually bylaws prohibiting works on a Sunday but aside from that, you need to speak to the neighbours, they are employing the men who are unable to control themselves poor ickle babies scaffolders. By all means e-mail them and say you need to talk but don't send that.

WillowWeeping · 02/07/2017 12:57

If you want to retain relationships long after the scaffolders have disappeared:

talk to your acquaintance

talk to the scaffolders

Or, at a push and if getting no where with the above, talk to the scaffolding company.

If you couldn't care less about ongoing relationships film the scaffolders swearing, post it on YouTube with the company name, provide a link to the clip on this thread and hope the DM pick it up Grin

swingofthings · 02/07/2017 12:57

Totally agree with TheMasterNotMargarita (and it did make me laugh). You talked to them, they acknowledge they were wrong, but continued, so how is the neighbour talking to them going to make any difference?

However nice the email is, it is indirectly pointing the problem at them, and they will most likely react in a defensive way, maybe suggesting that indeed, what are they supposed to do that will make them stop when you couldn't.

Make it a joke as suggested and hope that being reminded twice does it.

19lottie82 · 02/07/2017 12:57

OK if you've spoken to the scaffolders / builders then go speak to your neighbour (no need to send a long winded email) and also complain to the scaffolding company directly.

I used to work for a construction company and your complaint would be taken seriously.

opinionatedfreak · 02/07/2017 13:01

Google le construction noise and your location.

In general construction is not allowed on a Sunday and the site can be shut down by the council noise team.

My borough (london) have been very proactive on this issue in the past.

Piggywaspushed · 02/07/2017 13:06

fucking is an adjective...

Piggywaspushed · 02/07/2017 13:06

Or a verb in some contexts, obviously...

category12 · 02/07/2017 13:07

Don't email. Talk to them directly. Talk to the builders again. Complain to the company if it's a larger firm.

Piggywaspushed · 02/07/2017 13:08

I am doubting myself now...

I think I may be attacked by grammar pedants!!

I think it may well be an adverb when used to intensify an adjective.. Maybe you need to give examples?

Floralnomad · 02/07/2017 13:12

If she's not there it's hardly her problem , you need to go back out and tell them repeatedly to stop swearing , she doesn't need to know that you are grumpy and looking forward to the summer holidays .

Benedikte2 · 02/07/2017 13:14

Sounds like these are builders rather than scaffolders and will be there for the long term. Are they extending the house? That will take weeks. I'd try to have work limited to weekdays .
I'd cut the email down to the essential points for more impact.
Good luck

elevenclips · 02/07/2017 13:14

I really think yabu unless I have misunderstood.

Scaffolders have been swearing in public. Not really your neighbour's fault?

Fwiw, we've had two sets of scaffolders in our street and fuck was their favourite word. I had a roof problem and a roofer was coming to fix it and roofer had arranged scaffolding in advance. A) I wasn't informed when scaffolder was coming and B) scaffolder lorry blocked my neighbour's car and when neighbour asked to get through, scaffolder told them to FUCK OFF! My neighbour told me as I just arrived minutes after but my neighbour didn't blame me or want me to sort it out - how can I control the behaviour of a scaffolder Confused. You can't even just employ someone else as they'd still have to take their scaffolding down. So nothing that I could possibly do.

In your position, I'd suck this up. What do you want your neighbour to do?

chocolateworshipper · 02/07/2017 13:17

You could always phone 101. Swearing in public can be classed as a public order offence and they could be fined.

NerrSnerr · 02/07/2017 13:18

'You could always phone 101. Swearing in public can be classed as a public order offence and they could be fined'

You're joking right? You'd waste police time with some people swearing for a few hours?

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 13:22

No, they could not be fined. Mainly because the police will tell you to do one.

redladybird · 02/07/2017 13:26

I wouldn't send it! What is she supposed to do? Telling any tradesman or builder to stop swearing is laughable and they will increase their swearing just to annoy you! They won't be there for long so I would let it go.

MrsOverTheRoad · 02/07/2017 13:27

I'd just go and see the scaffolders myself! She's not their Mum!

Go and tell them!

MrsOverTheRoad · 02/07/2017 13:28

I see you DID. So speak to their boss. Not hard.