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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send this email to neighbour 2 doors down

115 replies

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 12:32

Can I send this email? Or am I just being a grouch? For reference, XXXX is an aquaintance who recently moved to our street. I don't mind her, although will never be bosom friends, but her child is thoroughly unpleasant and a bully so this may be colouring my judgement.

Hi XXXX

Hope all the work on your house is going well and you can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't think you're around today but I wondered if you could have a little word with the scaffolders who are here today. They arrived at 8am on a Sunday and started banging and shouting pretty much immediately. We can live with that, even though I don't think they are meant to cause noise on a Sunday, but then they started swearing at the tops of their voices - not because anyone was angry or hurt, but using 'fucking' as their adverb of a choice in every other sentence.

It would be hypocritical of me to pretend that I never swear in front of children, but it's a lovely day, we are in the garden, we have windows open, and it's not very nice. I did go round and ask them to stop swearing and they apologised but they've started up again - I think they probably don't realise they're doing it, let alone how loud they are, and are forgetting they're not on a building site. I'm probably also running out of patience after months and months of similar from YYYY's (immediate next door) builders, and it's almost the end of term and I was looking forward to sleeping a bit late this morning so I am probably a bit grumpy!

Thanks in advance,

Biscuits

OP posts:

wiltingfast · 02/07/2017 15:47

Fgs

Do you really think your neighbour will be able to control the builders' swearing?

You'll just look petty and intolerant.

I'd leave it.

Original poster

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 16:02

I can't hear the swearing any more as the crashing, drilling etc is now drowning out actual words.

OP posts:

Creampastry · 02/07/2017 17:07

Call the company and go ballistic at them!

StaplesCorner · 02/07/2017 17:16

But I would honestly feel like a real jobsworth complaining to the council and that I think would sour relations irretrievably with the neighbour - so is it intolerable, or not? Please don't come back on next Sunday saying the same thing!

TakeyourHorse, get a dictionary, look up the word "irony".

m0therofdragons · 02/07/2017 17:27

I find it odd that people are saying don't send the email then saying go to the council. If I got that email I'd have a nice word with the workmen. Why would you be offended by that email? A normal person wouldn't take offence.

Grilledaubergines · 02/07/2017 17:45

If I received that email, I'd just think 'why should I speak to the scaffolders? You're the one with the problem, you sort it'.

Then I would reply 'of course, I'll have a word.'

And then I wouldn't bother having a word.

Upshot: you want something doing, do it yourself.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 02/07/2017 18:00

Phone the scaffolders directly.

Original poster

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 18:03

There's no point phoning them, they're right there. (Actually they went home about an hour ago and all is blissfully calm now). I think I will try to catch the neighbour this week if they pop by - they've obviously moved out temporarily - and just mention in conversation that it was incredibly noisy and just check they're not planning on doing anything else on a Sunday. I think that should be clear enough without causing a big fuss.

OP posts:

WhollyFather · 02/07/2017 18:21

Some PPs seem not to have noticed that the first thing the OP did was to speak to the scaffolders, who apologised - which suggests they knew they were being excessive - but who then carried on as before. Just because they are cheeky chappy rough diamond scaffolders doesn't get them a free pass to behave howsoever they like in public.

And I don't see why the OP should 'suck it up'. Her local Council has rules which forbid noisy working on a Sunday. What 's that for, a joke?

An email is fine. The friendly opening is OK, but then it's too wordy. 'Could I ask you to speak to your scaffolders when they arrange to come back and remove their scaffolding, firstly to ask them not to work on a Sunday again as this is in breach of the Council's Construction Code of Practice, and secondly to reduce the volume and frequency of their bad language? I think it would be better coming from you, but if you would rather I dealt with it I will contact the scaffolding company directly'.

They should listen to the neighbour, who is paying them, or their boss, who employs them. Note the Council will almost certainly have a Building Control and Construction Compliance and Monitoring Officer. This sort of problem is exactly what his job is about.

And 'fucking', when not used as a verb, is what is known as an intensifier

KoalaDownUnder · 02/07/2017 18:23

Just because they are cheeky chappy rough diamond scaffolders doesn't get them a free pass to behave howsoever they like in public.

They should listen to the neighbour, who is paying them, or their boss, who employs them.

Exactly.

Original poster

Biscuitsneeded · 02/07/2017 18:32

Thank you Wholly father.

OP posts:

DreamingofItaly · 02/07/2017 18:32

We had houses being built at the end of our garden and the scaffolders arrived at 8am on a Sunday, turned the radio up and cracked on. I went over, asked them why they were there on a Sunday as no building can take place (same gov rule already mentioned). They apologised, said the builder had told them to do it, turned the radio off and kept the noise down. They were there for a couple of hours.

It annoyed me, but it sounds commonplace and at least they kept the noise down. I had a word with the builder on the Monday and he apologised saying they shouldn't have done it and agreed no work would happen on a Sunday moving forward. It didn't.

I'd have a word face to face with your neighbour or the builder. It worked for me. Good luck OP, building work around you constantly is crap (we've had it over the last 5 years with various developments, I'm so pleased it's finally over!).

Trollspoopglitter · 02/07/2017 19:39

"Just because they are cheeky chappy rough diamond scaffolders doesn't get them a free pass to behave howsoever they like in public."

Well actually, in public they can behave as they want as long as it's within law. Your point is that they're on private property of their clients, therefore need to behave more professionally.

TheWernethWife · 02/07/2017 20:03

I've lived in my house for 20 years and have no idea of any of my neighbours e-mail addresses or their mobile numbers. Just confuses me when I see posts saying text your neighbour/school mum etc. Do people really give neighbours/randoms their details and what's wrong with just speaking to someone if you have an issue.

shillwheeler · 03/07/2017 17:36

Scaffolders, and roofers, are a law to themselves. They are usually the hardest trades to get hold off, and pretty much do what they like - that said, they are usually quick and as scaffolding costs so much chances are they will get what they need to get done quickly.

Personally, I think your email is fine - and you are right to direct at your neighbour who is paying for the works, and who should have a long term interest in maintaining good relations.

If this is a longer term project though, it may be better to have a word with your neighbour face-to-face if you can and establish some ground rules/mutual cooperation. Unless she is totally crass, she should want to keep you on side - a she may need your help/cooperation at some point in the future.

exaltedwombat · 03/07/2017 17:55

As mentioned, they'll only be back briefly, to take the scaffolding down. No need to be pompous, or wrap your complaint up in a list of justifications. When they return, speak to them directly. That's IF they do it again, and IF you hear it. Otherwise, you don't really have to protect the world from a bit of effing.

Original poster

Biscuitsneeded · 03/07/2017 17:56

Werneth you're not reading my post properly. I couldn't talk to the neighbour as they appear to have moved out temporarily to escape the chaos. I DID talk to the scaffolders, who apologised but it made no difference.

I have the neighbour's email because she was already an acquaintance - we have kids in the same class at school, friends in common etc. But actually, I live in a very friendly community, I talk to my neighbours and probably have email addresses for at least 6 near-neighbours because of organising community events together etc. I would think it odd if I wasn't on friendly terms with at least some of my neighbours.

OP posts:

LeannePerrins · 03/07/2017 18:21

If you say 'that dog is fucking ugly' then fucking is an adverb because it describes how the dog is ugly.

Actually in that sentence 'fucking' is a predicative intensifier. It ceases to be an adverb of degree when it is used to emphasise the adjective rather than quantify it.

(Misses point).

stellacat123 · 03/07/2017 18:23

You could speak to them again or otherwise I'd contact the company. It's been encouraged for some time now to contact their company if building staff/scaffolders are behaving in an unprofessional manner (eg cat calling, swearing). On large building sites they often have a sign advising the public to contact the firm if there's inappropriate behaviour.

TheWernethWife · 03/07/2017 18:34

Biscuit it wasn't aimed at you directly, just seen other posts suggesting emailing/texting people rather than speaking. Sorry if I offended you.

angelfacecuti75 · 03/07/2017 18:53

I think it sounds white polite and I wouldn't be offended if I got that ir just say to builders/ scaffolders 'we've had complaints please can you not swear whilst your working ' & thatfd be it

Drivingmenuts · 03/07/2017 19:26

Go round in person, be friendly and let her know you had a word with her scaffolders about their language. Email is passive aggressive.

daydreambeliever21 · 03/07/2017 19:39

I may be in the minority but I'm not sure you can make it the responsibility of the homeowner, especially if they are not even there at the time. Yes, workmen can be noisy and can use inappropriate language and that isn't nice but surely that's life. It might be annoying to change your plans, take the kids out or go indoors but surely that is the best option. It's only a bit of noise and bad language, not worth starting a battle over.

Original poster

Biscuitsneeded · 03/07/2017 19:43

I stopped caring about the swearing in the end (although the lack of consideration for others annoys me) as I accept this is just what happens. But the noise by afternoon was really, really loud. It would have been a problem on a working day but there's no way it should have been happening from 8am on a Sunday.

Anyway, have not emailed and will talk to neighbour when I see her - which might be a while at this rate as I don't imagine they'll be moving back in any day soon and I know she has local relatives with whom they are probably staying.

OP posts:

Writermom22 · 03/07/2017 19:47

They will learn worse at school. Try shouting across at them "oi, mate, cut it out and I'll come round with a brew and a pack of rich tea for ya."

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