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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really annoyed that this shop assistant had to comment ...

101 replies

Nicpem1982 · 15/05/2017 15:59

I'm sure this has been done on here a million times already but I've personally never experienced this before so I'd like some opinions

I took my dd (2.8) to our local toy shop today to spend her pocket money.

She chose a big bucket of dinosaurs and we went to pay my dd said greeted her and said I'd like these dinosaurs please, to which the lady replied "are these for your brother? As boys play with dinosaurs."

There was clearly only me and dd in our party and no boys were near us, I explained that she liked dinosaurs and could we pay please.

We paid eventually and left but only after the cashier attempted to coax my dd into swaping for shopkins (I assume these are in the opinion of the cashier more appropriate for a little girl)

We use this toy shop regularly and have never had this kind of experience, aibu to think that the cashier just could have said nothing

OP posts:

Fairybella · 15/05/2017 16:02

My girls love dinosaurs and blue. I think it's up to the child to decide what they want.

DissonantInterval · 15/05/2017 16:02

It's so sad that in the 21st century people still think of some things as girls' toys and some as boys toys, clothes, books etc :(

guiltynetter · 15/05/2017 16:04

i can't believe this actually happens?! especially somebody who works in a toy shop. my 3 yr old DD loves dinosaurs and we've bought her various dinosaur toys/related things and nobody has ever batted an eyelid.

ETanny · 15/05/2017 16:05

We've had a similar issue before when our dd1 was younger. She was really into Dr Who and she went to spend some money she had saved. She picked out a tardis, a sonic screwdriver and a figure of the Dr. When we got to the checkout the woman asked who they was for and when she proudly announced they was for her the woman asked her if she was sure that's what she wanted as 'it wasn't very girly'.

It drives me mad. They should learn to keep their opinions quiet.

originalbiglymavis · 15/05/2017 16:05

I loved mecano when I was little. In fact I would still play with it if I had time, but hey ho, we have IKEA now!

Original poster

Nicpem1982 · 15/05/2017 16:05

Fairy - my dd wanted dinosaurs there's no way we were getting out with out them today!

We let her take the lead in what she plays/reads and wears sometimes she's dressed in a tutu other times she's captain America or batman

OP posts:

CrohnicallyPregnant · 15/05/2017 16:09

YANBU- I could almost understand the cashier asking if they were for her or another child in a making conversation type way like 'are these for you? Or are they for your brother?'

But the cashier definitely overstepped the mark trying to persuade your DD to change her mind- I mean, you have to assume that the adult with the child has vetted the purchase and it's suitable for their age/ability/interest/budget. I mean, you might have already persuaded your DD away from shopkins (aren't they small things and labelled not suitable for under 3s?).

SherlockPotter · 15/05/2017 16:09

YANBU, this gets on my nerves. They're inanimate objects, stop gendering them.. the same goes for clothes, princesses/superheroes, Disney franchises etc!

NotISaidTheWalrus · 15/05/2017 16:11

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fernanie · 15/05/2017 16:12

YANBU. I'd have been pissed off too. In fact, it might be worth dropping the shop a note or phone call to let them know what happened. Not to get the cashier into trouble but because they clearly need to do a little more training or send a memo round the staff. I think the management would be pretty embarrassed if they knew their staff were saying this sort of thing.

Floggingmolly · 15/05/2017 16:12

Me neither...

SherlockPotter · 15/05/2017 16:12

NotISaidWalrus oh you would be surprised... this does happen!

CrohnicallyPregnant · 15/05/2017 16:13

guilty I've had similar, but not to that extent. For example, when DD went into a 'big girl' bed we took her shopping for duvet covers etc, she chose Frozen and dinosaurs. The cashier said something like 'let me guess which one's yours?', we explained they were both for DD, DD said she was getting a big bed, and cashier made appreciative noises. The cashier ticked the box for 'making polite conversation with the customer' in case their boss was watching, no need to try and change a toddler's mind or comment on their choices any further.

StopTalkingOverMe · 15/05/2017 16:14

Yanbu. My daughter loves Minecraft, Stampy, Dantdm and all the thing's that 'boys' should love. None of the cashiers business.

Original poster

Nicpem1982 · 15/05/2017 16:15

Chronically- I get what you're saying re starting a conversation with my dd I can't help thinking that a better opener would have been "are you having a nice day today" or "you'd like to buy these dinosaurs? They are pretty cool" my dd would have been fine with either of those questions and probably would have chatted the cashiers ears off!

Shopkins are labelled not for under 3s I think, my dd has no interest in them though at the min as it's all about the dinosaurs and paw patrol

OP posts:

GoatsFeet · 15/05/2017 16:15

I would think about complaining to the manager, actually. The cashier is stepping way out of line to try to persuade a customer (your DD) to change what they want to buy.

MapMyMum · 15/05/2017 16:15

Id actually let the manager know so she can be told to stop reinforcing sexist stereotypes. And yes it would seriously piss me off

KatharinaRosalie · 15/05/2017 16:16

How ridiculous. I would complain, and I'm not really a complainer. There are other, non-sexist ways to make conversation. Since when do you need a penis to play with dinosaurs? Children really don't need this 'oh but it's for boys' crap and some other child might take it seriously.

GoatsFeet · 15/05/2017 16:17

Ha ha epic cross-posts Map and Katharina !

Great minds and all that ...

Takeheed · 15/05/2017 16:18

I NEVER believe these threads.
They are imagined conversations the Ops have in their head's because they are feeling all great about their parenting choices and how they let their little ones " take the lead ".
Yeah yeah we all do that.

blackteasplease · 15/05/2017 16:18

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EweAreHere · 15/05/2017 16:20

I would complain to the owner, tbh, or her supervisor. She's actively driving off business with that crappy, sexist attitude!

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 15/05/2017 16:21

Saying 'I don't believe you' - is that really on? How is that any different to trollhunting?

shinyredbus · 15/05/2017 16:21

Wait - your 2.8 has pocket money?! completely misses point of post

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 16:22

I loved mecano when I was little. In fact I would still play with it if I had time, but hey ho, we have IKEA now

and we are allowed to swear and drink which is even better.

OP - the cashier's attitude sucked big hairy donkey balls.

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