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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that he shouldn't eat these?

91 replies

NotForSale · 05/05/2017 07:49

When I was pregnant 4 years ago I had hyperemesis where I couldn't eat and was sick for every waking moment.
I still have strong aversions to certain foods that must have come from association with that time as I only have to smell them and I am right back in the full horror of it. These include cooked eggs, baked beans, yoghurt, black pepper, vinegar, fried chicken.
My husband has a fondness for omelette and baked beans for breakfast rather than cereal like every one else in the house and it makes me heave so we stagger breakfast times although the smell lingers and the bean juice on his dirty plate or on the work surface and saucepan still make me gag. AIBU that he simply shouldn't eat these if it has such a strong impact on me? I don't respond like that out of choice!

OP posts:
Alexandra87 · 05/05/2017 07:50

Yabu it's his home too he should be able to eat what he wants

DoItTooJulia · 05/05/2017 07:52

It would certainly be kinder if he didn't! Or if he washed his plate afterwards at least.

Does he care that you hate it?

c3pu · 05/05/2017 07:52

Yabu to dictate what he eats, but he should at least clean up after himself.

Hiphopopotamus · 05/05/2017 07:52

YABU - I need a cooked breakfast like omelette in the morning to fill me up properly. I can't stand cereal. You can't expect your DH to never eat eggs again!

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 05/05/2017 07:52

Yabu.

CaulkheadNorth · 05/05/2017 07:53

What does he say when you talk about it with him?

Wolfiefan · 05/05/2017 07:53

That's quite a long list. Maybe seek treatment if it is impacting on your life.
I wouldn't expect a partner never to eat these foods. Shut kitchen door, prepare and eat food and then clean up.

watchoutformybutt · 05/05/2017 07:53

Yabu you can't expect people never to eat that stuff. I've had HG with my first, I'm not being unsympathetic but at this point you need to try to find a way to get over it so other people in the family can eat what they want. It's not even like any of those things are particularly unusual or offensive smelling.

ChasedByBees · 05/05/2017 07:53

It's quite a long list of food you have aversions too though. I wouldn't say he can't eat them but he should be cleaning up immediately after finishing.

BumWad · 05/05/2017 07:53

YABU

AnathemaPulsifer · 05/05/2017 07:54

YA both a bit U

You'll need to let him eat what he likes, but he needs to rinse/wash up his pan and plate to make it easier for you.

soapboxqueen · 05/05/2017 07:54

You can't dictate forever that he doesn't eat these things. However, I would expect him to clear up properly so you didn't need to see it.

Mysterycat23 · 05/05/2017 07:54

In the spirit of compromise and showing care and affection he should have it less frequently and definitely be cleaning up after himself each and every time.

So YABU to say never, YANBU to say not every day and clean up after yourself Grin

luckylucky24 · 05/05/2017 07:55

YABU. Your list isn't one or two items, its a fair bit. I would ask him to simply wash up rather than not eat any of it.

Popskipiekin · 05/05/2017 07:55

YABU not to want him to eat what he likes for breakfast but knowing your strong reaction to those foods he IBVVVU not to wash up the saucepan, wipe surfaces, put plate away. He should do that anyway of course, but especially in these circs.

loverlybunchofcoconuts · 05/05/2017 07:55

I think I'd see it more as a problem I'd want to resolve. Surely that will affect you outside the home? Passing a fish and chip shop, a fried chicken shop...eating out anywhere there could be an omelette served?
I'd be looking at how I can desensitise myself after 4 years.

But in the meantime, make DH rinse his plate and pans, and put them straight in the dishwasher (which he should do anyway really...!)

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 05/05/2017 07:56

YABU to say he can't eat them, but he IBU not cleaning up after himself, especially if it makes you gag.

Imnotaslimjim · 05/05/2017 07:57

In the gentlest possible way, YABU. You need to seek treatment to deal with this. I totally understand why you've got this way but you can't live like that and you can't force him to.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 05/05/2017 07:58

Yes, YABU.

But so is he by not just cleaning up after himself.

haveacupoftea · 05/05/2017 07:59

YABU, those are pretty standard everyday foods, you can expect him never to eat egg or beans again.

haveacupoftea · 05/05/2017 08:01

But totally agree he should wash his own dishes, lazy arse leaving them there for you especially glued on eggs, yuk.

honeycheeerios · 05/05/2017 08:03

YABU

You need to work on getting over it rather that dictating what he can eat.

You will have to deal with it at times when eating out etc.

VerySadInside · 05/05/2017 08:04

YAB hugely U!

Go get some therapy if its that bug an issue for you.

OboePlayingImmortalRabbit · 05/05/2017 08:07

I think you're being a bit unreasonable, sorry. But I do think that the least he could do is wash up his plate/pan/dishes whatever.

Emeralda · 05/05/2017 08:16

Have you spoken to your GP about this? Sounds like it's something you live with day-to-day but you might be able to get some help with it. I'm not sure what being right back in the full horror of it means for you, but the smell of so many foods should not be setting off such a strong physical reaction. I tthink it's worth getting some professional help with, if it affects your life that much.